5 Steps to Find & Befriend Your ‘Dream Connections’: Deciding Who You Actually Want In Your Corner

Written by Scott September 6, 2013

create a relationship roadmap and build dream connections

“Environment is everything. Who’s in your corner?”

– The CWA Creed [image credit]

First off, if you’re new here – welcome to the family!

We had a lot of new Living Legends join us in the past few days, and it’s an honor to have you here.

To catch you up to speed, our How to Connect With Anyone course & community just opened, and we’ll be taking new members for the next few days. We keep it small and intimate by design, and spots have been starting to fill up, so if you think it might be helpful, check it out sometime this weekend.

As mentioned on Wednesday, because I believe your environment is so make or break when it comes to doing work you love, that throughout this week, I’m going to be sharing a specific action and set of steps for transforming your surroundings.

They are all part of our Connect With Anyone framework, and every one of them can be immediately applied to your life – like as in the second you finish reading this. I hope you do something with it.

Now on to today’s fun…

Befriending ‘Dream Connections’ & Creating Your Relationship Roadmap

Today I want to share something I learned from Keith Ferrazzi a long time ago. He wrote the bestseller Never Eat Alone and has taught me a ton about relationships over the years. He also happens to be one of our official Experts inside CWA.

The timing for today’s Dream Connection discussion is especially fun since not long ago Jonathan Fields posted the interview he did with me for his Good Life Project TV show. The title was appropriately called Connect With Anyone And Live Your Legend.

You see, I’ve looked up to Jonathan for a very long time. I still do. For years he was someone I wanted to meet and have a part of my world. Now I’m grateful to call him a true friend and mentor. And since he started GLP, I’ve thought it would be the ultimate honor to join him on the show one day. So thanks for that, Jonathan!

And that’s what today is all about…figuring out who you actually want in your corner and how to go about making it happen.

That’s what I call a Dream Connection – anyone whose support you don’t currently have, but know you’d like to have in building and living your own legend. They might be famous or it might just be a description of the type of person you’re looking for. Either way, we need them in our corner in order to make the magic we want to make.

You see, when I first started Live Your Legend, I knew no one who had a web business. I hadn’t even heard of a blog. Something tells me that’s why it grew by exactly 0% for the first four years.

Have you ever had a passion that you desperately wanted to turn into a business, but the only problem was nobody was paying attention and it didn’t make a dime? 

Yeah, that was me.

And I meet so many readers in these same shoes…

“I don’t know anyone who’s done what I want to do or who’s willing to support my idea. My friends think I’m crazy for thinking differently.”

or

“I don’t even know who I want to meet. I don’t have a clue where to start.”

And it’s this script that crushes our potential.

I see it everyday with people trying to find and do work they love. They say they want to make a change but they haven’t done any of the internal work to know what that change might be.

How could they possibly expect things to be different??

If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you’re never going to find it. 

The same goes for surrounding yourself with inspiring people.

In order to meet the people you want to meet, you must know who’s on that list. In our course we call this the Relationship Roadmap.

Sounds simple I know, but you wouldn’t believe what this does to your results when you really lay out a clear map.

Earlier, we talked about finding one person who inspires you, and that’s the perfect place to start.

Now Here’s How To Create Your ‘Dream Connection’ Roadmap:

1. Make a list of the types of people you want to meet. For now, we’re just talking characteristics. Think about your passions, interests, hobbies, projects and goals. What industry are these people in? What do they like to do? What excites them? How old are they? Where do they live? We need a criteria and checklist for who we want in our corner.

2. List who you already know. Who’s already a part of your life that fits this criteria? Think of current or past friendships, colleagues, bosses, sports mates, anyone. Go through your phone book and all your Facebook and LinkedIn contacts to be sure you don’t miss anyone. Be sure you double-check your contacts or else you’ll surely forget someone.

3. List people connected to the people you know. Think about who is one step removed and who you’d love to spend time with. LinkedIn can also be a great tool for this to see who’s connected to whom. You’d be amazed how many people already know the people you want to know. This makes for the easiest introductions of all – your contacts have to know who you’re looking to meet in order for them to have a chance at helping you. Make it easy for them or it won’t happen.

4. List your bigger Dream Connections. Who are the people you’ve always wanted to meet? Who do you admire or look up to? Who could help you build your dream? Industry leaders, bestselling authors, celebrities – anything goes. Write down why you really care about meeting them. That helps weed out anything superficial to avoid coming across disingenuous.

5. Put your list somewhere you can review it daily. Keep it front of mind. Begin to share it with people.

Watch what starts to happen.

And for a little bonus, if you’re stuck on how to add value to these big dogs: First realize that everyone needs help with something. You just have to be creative and interested enough to discover it.

Find something that leverages your talents and passions and helps them in your area of expertise – not theirs. Don’t give a best selling author writing advice. Instead offer to create an illustration for their book – if that’s what you’re good at. For more on helping, check out our video and earlier post on How to Add Real Value to Very Successful People.

So that’s all you have to do – for now…

When we know who we want to meet, we start to act differently. 

It’s just like the power of setting a big goal. We start to talk about it more with other people. We start to notice new things and see the world differently. We find ourselves showing up to new events. Our decision making starts to shift. Then the serendipity begins.

A lot of this happens without us consciously doing it. But it all comes from knowing where you’re headed and the people you want a part of it.

This is how I first met and ended up doing a kettlebell workout with Tim Ferriss of the 4-Hour Work Week. 

His work had helped LYL a lot, and I thought we’d get a long well, so he was on my list.

Then randomly while on a run with a friend, literally the week after I’d put Tim on my list, his work happened to come up in conversation. Of course, I mentioned that I looked forward to meeting him one day. That was it. A few minutes later, my buddy and I were on to other topics.

Then the next day I got an email from my buddy saying…

“You know Scott, it turns out that Tim and I have some friends in common, and he actually invited me on a workout next week. Would you like to join us?”

You can imagine my response….

The next week the three of us did a 90-minute kettlebell workout together. It was an absolute blast – and exhausting!

The serendipity was hard to believe. It still is. It always is. 

I’ve had dozens of experiences like that. We deconstruct them all in CWA.

It all comes back to knowing the kind of situations and the types of people you want to surround yourself with. Once you do, everything else starts to set in motion.

That’s when it starts to get exciting. 

I hope you’ll put this to work.

And if you want more help with it, we cover Dream Connections & Building Your Roadmap in deep detail in module 3 of Connect With Anyone.

Spots are starting to fill up and I think there’s only about 40 left for our special coaching & accountability package (students loved the extra hands-on attention last time so I’m super pumped that we’re offering an even deeper level of it this time around). Either way, we’ll close the doors in a few days so we can all get started together.

You can check out Module 3 & others, or grab one of the remaining spots here.

What’s most important to me is that you do something today and this week to begin surrounding yourself with the people who change everything. 

From my experience, that’s the most powerful single thing you can do to have a shot at your dream career – or any dream for that matter.

Start small.

It doesn’t have to be that intimidating. Even if you don’t think you know anyone, you’re probably mistaken. And if you’re not, that can change faster than you could ever realize.

Hope to see some of you on the inside,

-Scott

P.S. Do you have connection questions? I’m happy to answer whatever you throw at me. And if you have specific questions about the course and community, our alumni have personally given me permission to send you their email so you can hear directly from them. They’d actually love to hear from you!

Just let us know how we can help.

All I ask is that you first give a careful review of the course description page since we’ve tried to cover a ton of your questions there – there’s even a live question and chat feature on that page. If you still need help, just reply to this email and say the world.

We’re here for you!

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“It was 18 months ago when I came across Live Your Legend and it just completely blew my mind. I was living this life thinking I have to kind of just do this. Then it was like a kid on Christmas Day with my wife thinking ‘we don’t have to do this anymore.’ It was literally a life change. It opened so many doors. Thanks for everything you’re doing.”

- Simon P., Singapore