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Just as you should always surround yourself with people smarter than you—the same goes for success. I have tried to do that as best I can throughout my life. I got off to a great start with my parents and have done my best to continue on that track with my fiancée, friends, business partners, teachers and the like.
Success has mesmerized me since I can remember. The power that comes from modeling and following successful human patterns is unbelievable. Early in life I decided to do my best to surround myself with successful people by meeting, reading, listening and understanding their work. Then to write about what I learn and experience so that I can share it with others who may also benefit from it.
Success is an interesting concept. It is thought about on a day-to-day basis whether we realize it or not. This is especially true in the United States culture where we are taught from childhood that life revolves around this “race to the top”. What so few people take the time to ask themselves is, where is the top and why do I want to get there? Herein lies the complex notion of success. I am a firm believer that the lack of clearly defined success is quite often what keeps one’s dreams and happiness just out of reach of their reality.
The amazing thing about it is that there is no one else in the world who can know you are successful other than yourself. As much as our society has tried to emphasize that success means things like money, status, big titles and fame; at the end of the day, society does not have a clue whether or not you are successful. This is the case because it is you who defines success and who is in charge of achieving that definition. Real success comes from inside. From knowing you are living your purpose and doing your part.
The disconnect is that so few people are taught this concept from the beginning which causes them to adopt, often unconsciously, someone else’s definition of success and claim it as their own. The problem here is that you will spend your life trying to be successful only to find that that particular definition of success has nothing to do with what success really means to you. So many people are guilty of this and to be honest, it is no one’s fault. I have certainly fallen into this trap in the past but thankfully, greatly as a result of the reading I have done, I have recognized this shortcoming and have been able to correct it, although it is a continuous process. It is our surroundings that are dictating so much of what we decide is correct.
No one in this world has the right to tell another person that they have been unsuccessful. How am I to know what fulfills you and builds upon your success? It is you who decides. It is so easy to take a look at someone who has what looks like a meaningless job or hardly any money and think they are not successful. Please be careful with this. You may find that person to be as fulfilled as can be because the life they are living is what perfectly defines success for them.
I ask all of you one thing as readers in search of success. Please, before you go any further with your career or your relationships or any other journeys for accomplishment; take a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a year, and become crystal clear on what it is that defines success for your life and each and every component that contributes to it. How often do you try to leave on a trip without having a destination? How can you expect to reach your full potential of success if you do not really know what that is to you?
I hope you’ll never look at another person and think they posses more or have accomplished more than you have just because they better fit some general definition. This is not a race. In the end each of us is racing against no one but ourselves. Once we define our own success, we all en up having different finish lines.
There was nothing more liberating than the moment I came to this realization.
As David Weatherford says in his poem Slow Dance:
“Life is not a race. Do take it slower.
Hear the Music. Before the song is over.”
-Scott
