I do handstands at night

“Be honestly and unapologetically you. Because you being uniquely you will allow the people you interact with to feel comfortable being uniquely them – perhaps for the first time in their lives. There is no more authentic way to connect and no greater gift to give.”

 - Scott Dinsmore

*****

An Important Note on Respect: Today I’m going to take a leap of faith – and share some things with you that I’ve never shared in public.

While a few were fun to write, many of them were not easy for me to publish. I hope they give you a little better feel for the real side of Scott Dinsmore and Live Your Legend. I know that this post is pretty in-depth (I didn’t want to hold anything back), so if you’re pressed for time, please just read the below intro and then the heading of each of the 35 points below. That will take about 3 minutes. You can come back for the rest later.

This is me being me. All I ask is that you be yourself in return. Please share one story or little-known fact about yourself in the comments.

Authenticity also happens to be at the core of our Start a Blog Challenge & WDS2014 Ticket Giveaway which closes next week.

Now for the fun…

*****

Being Yourself Frees Others to do the Same

Last night Chelsea and I had a delicious three-course and four-hour Greek meal at Kokkari, our favorite restaurant in San Francisco. We were treated by two very gracious and really entertaining LYL and Connect with Anyone members, Brandon and Virginia, who were visiting from Toronto.

I thought the meal might last an hour or two, but we actually totally hit it off and had a blast. Crazy how many things we all had in common.

At about hour three, Brandon looked over at me and said “You know Scott, I was really nervous before our meal, but it’s amazing how comfortable this has been and how real you actually are.”

I looked at him and laughed wondering what he expected…

But it got me thinking.

So much of the public world of entrepreneurs, authors, CEO’s and leaders is masked by a huge coat of bullsh*t.

People seem to want to put off this image like they’re perfect. And it’s often out of fear that the people who respect them won’t love them anymore if they show their true colors.

So they paint a false picture and do a huge disservice to everyone who looks up to them and to the world as a whole. By putting up this front, they create these expectations that are impossible to meet. It’s not fair and it’s downright selfish.

At Live Your Legend, I’ve always tried to be as open and clear as possible. To share the warts alongside the glory.

But I’ve realized that for the most part, the public image of LYL and Scott Dinsmore almost only showcases the positive.

So today I wanted to share a bit more of myself. Some of the good, the bad, the funny and the ugly things about my life and past in a effort to bring us all closer together.

I’m hoping that it will allow you to feel a little more comfortable in sharing who you actually are with our community.

Because when you show who you really are to someone else, it often encourages them to be themselves as well. And sadly, in a world of false images and representations, many people have never gotten the chance to be uniquely who they actually are.

There is no greater gift you can give.

And as it turns out, there is not other way to genuinely connect with those around you.

Authenticity is at the heart of all things successful.

It’s the foundation of a bestseller.

The heart of an inspiring speech.

The core of a business out to change the world.

It’s also the most powerful way to connect as a writer.

And given that over 120 of you have joined our Start A Blog Challenge this month, I could not think of any better timing.

As a reminder, the last chance to enter the challenge ends next week. It takes less than 10 minutes to start a blog and you can win a $500 ticket to World Domination Summit 2014. Here are the details and a short video I created on how to start a blog in under 10 minutes with zero tech experience

It’s so easy today to puff out our chest and act like we have it all figured out.

We only post the best things on Facebook and Twitter, only write blog entries about our crazy experiences, and when we’re out, we try to look our best. Then no one (except maybe those closest to us) gets to see what happens when we get home some nights and lay awake terrified. Only a very few see that we can’t sleep because we don’t know how we’re going to make something work.

But that doesn’t create genuine connection. In fact, it makes people resent you.

So this is how simple it is – be who you are. Not who you want to be or who you think you should be.

Just tell and share your stories and watch what happens.

I’ll go first.

So now it’s time to get real.

You ready?

Here goes…

Special thanks to my good friends Corbett Barr and Lissa Rankin who have recently inspired a new level of authenticity into the way I live and show up in the world (and a big thanks to all the friends an mentors online and off who constantly hold me to that higher standard – you know who you are).  

35 Honest Stories, Fears & Facts I Kinda Wish You Didn’t Know About Me

1. I’m late. Way more than I’d like to be.

And I can’t stand it. I just always try to do things right up until the last minute, and I notoriously underestimate how long everything will take. I’d like to say that I’m incredibly optimistic about what I can accomplish in a day, but if I’m honest, I know that being late hurts me and others. Especially my wife Chelsea, who deals with it way more often than she should have to. It’s something I work on a lot and the past year has gotten better, but I have a long way to go.

2. I love “Chick Flicks”.

I own a copy of The Notebook and watch Love Actually and The Holiday every year. I’m usually the one twisting Chelsea’s arm to watch these instead of the other way around. Growing up with a sister four years my senior will do that to you. I know just about every word in Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Thanks Kristen!

3. I’m terrible at pretty much every sport involving a ball. 

I never played sports as a kid and always rebelled against them. As a result, I could not throw a football or kick a soccer ball to save my life. A golf ball is the only one I can manage – if you can even count that. But I love volleyball and I’m slowly improving my skills. Very slowly.

4. I do handstands on the street when I’ve had too much to drink (and when I haven’t). 

See the picture above – that’s me playing in Thailand. I love handstands. Especially on grass and beaches. They might be my single favorite physical activity. Anytime I see grass, I’m up on my hands walking around. And when I’ve had a few drinks, I’ve been known to go vertical on the sidewalk outside a bar, restaurant or club. I’m also pretty damn good at them (although Chelsea will tell you my form is terrible) and can walk for minutes on end.

5. I was a rebellious disaster of a child – and even saw a child psychologist a few times.

His name was Barum and he tried to get me to throw a Nerf basketball with him just like you see in the movies (bad idea – read about me and ball sports). Today my parents will tell you that I was just a little “mischievous,” but I put them through way more hell than any parents should have to deal with. We still can’t figure out what caused me to turn around, but it happened sometime between 8th grade and high school. Maybe it was that two-week Outward Bound backpacking adventure I was sent on.

6. I love pastel-colored clothing. My favorite pants are white, pink and mint julep green.

And I’m obsessed with linen. It’s the ultimate leisure clothing. I’m wearing all linen in the handstand picture at the top. And here’s a little sample from “Pink Out” – a rosé wine tasting event Chelsea and I attend in SF each year. They encourage everyone to wear pink. My Pink Panthers made for the perfect pant – I know they look white but they are very light pink micro-corduroys. Btw, if anyone else likes a little flare, you gotta check out Bonobos online men’s clothing. That link will get you $25 off. Their stuff is so fun – been buying from Andy and his team since they were selling out of their apartment.

I love pink Bonobos pants

Yes, I am wearing more pink than my wife…

7. I am a terrible speller. Like awful. 

In fact, I just tried to look up how to spell “mischievous” and Google couldn’t even figure out what I was looking for because I was spelling it with a “G”. Thank God for spell check and Cherilyn, my editor!

8. I’m not as good of a manager as I want to be or as fair to the people I work with.

I always thought I’d run a business with me as the only employee. I wanted to keep it simple. But in the past year, I’ve realized how crucial the right talented people are to the future of the Live Your Legend movement. I’m so grateful to have the team I do, but I know I have so much to learn about management. It’s a constant evolution and I thank them for being patient.

9. I can’t stand seeing people waste their potential.

I don’t think there’s anything more frustrating. I so badly want to do something to help them, but I know it’s useless until someone decides they want to operate on a higher level. At times this leads to some uncomfortable, intense and heated conversations.

10. I can be really stubborn. 

Goes with the point above. When I’m dead set on a idea, it’s very hard for me to get myself to let up. This can be frustrating for those close to me.

11. My wife Chelsea is far and away the best thing that’s ever happened to my life. 

I managed to marry up in a such a huge way. She makes everything better. She’s unbelievably selfless and loving. She’s obsessed with cooking delicious vegan food (check out her Tofu Peanut Sauce Panzanella Salad on her blog Food-Life Balance). She’s my best friend and we seriously have the most amazing life together. She’s also my Chief Balance Officer. Her calm, balance and chill approach to life is the best medicine in the world. Our wedding was easily the best day of my life. Here’s a short trailer from the big day…

Don’t see a video? Click here

12. I’m obsessed with eating and often eat when I’m not hungry.

I read and learn a ton about food, nutrition, health and overall well-being, and most days I eat a super healthy plant-based vegan diet. But from time to time I still find myself emotional eating and consuming sweets and things I know don’t belong in my body. It feels like I can’t stop eating because I love putting food in my mouth. Seriously – I think I have an issue with it. Maybe that’s why I’m so crazy about fitness and eating only plants. It’s pretty tough to O.D. on salad.

Chelsea and I also happen to have food-focused lives. She cooks amazing meals for her recipe blog Food-Life Balance (which is a pretty nice side benefit for me, the taste-tester..). And when we travel, it’s not uncommon for us to be talking about dinner while we’re having lunch. When I travel and go to events, what’s going to be eaten is often front of mind. I’m actually a bit concerned that eventually it’s going to catch up with me…

13. I fail often and I failed for four years straight. 

The blog I ran before Live Your Legend was called Reading For Your Success. I wrote personal development book reviews for four years straight, while it grew by exactly zero percent. The only real people paying attention were Chelsea and my mom and dad. It was very frustrating, but it allowed me to find my voice. And for Live Your Legend to become what it is today. I fail at things all the time. Earlier this year I thought I could start a stand-up desk business with a friend “on the side.” Who was I kidding? I’ve come to embrace failure as part of the never ending life of experiments and learning. Now it’s kinda fun.

14. I’m scared that I’ll always live in the shadow of my parents’ success. 

I was fortunate to be born into a incredibly supportive and close family. My parents are some of my best friends and mentors in the world. My father was also quite successful in his business endeavors. For years I tried to follow in his footsteps, which was brutally hard on me. It wasn’t until I found my own path with Live Your Legend that I really felt like I could be myself.

But to this day, I know there are lots of people who think things like, “Oh sure, Scott’s successful because he had that easy start from his family.” A number of them have even said it straight to my face. It used to hurt me. And it’s very possible that no matter what I build or achieve, that some people will always say things like that. The difference now is that I know that’s not in my control, and I no longer care about what they think.

I built Live Your Legend from scratch, over the past 7+ years with zero outside investment (it took me $67 to start) and no special family connections. I knew nobody in the space when I started. I’m damn proud of what it’s turned into. People can say that I was one of the “lucky ones,” but I’ve worked my face off to build what I’ve built. The only family help I’ve had is their undying encouragement and some really fun brainstorming with dad – my Chief Strategist. That’s been priceless. Here’s a sneak peak a the possible Dinsmore family Christmas card candidate for this year (a tad over-staged I know, and yes, that’s me wearing white pants and linen…)

The wonderful Dinsmore family

15. Sometimes I feel like email runs my life.

For the life of me, I cannot seem to get ahead of my email box. My personal email has 51 unread emails in it, and it’s Monday morning (it had nearly zero yesterday). Not to mention LYL email that has well over 200 – but thankfully my team does an awesome job of handling the LYL part. I’ve tried so many things to handle email in a smoother way, but it’s been this crazy beast. I’m getting better, but I’m still not at all proud of how much time I spend buried in Gmail.

16. Sometimes my inspiring friends make me feel small. 

There is no more powerful life hack in the history of the world than hanging around the people doing the things and living the lives you dream of living. I’m grateful for the friends and mentors I hang with on a daily basis. And while for the most part they inspire possibility, sometimes being around them and hearing all their big progress and projects makes me feel small. Like I should be doing more. Continuing to focus on my internal yardstick has helped a lot.

17. I have a very limiting belief that if I don’t over prepare, I will fail.

I constantly over prepare. I rehearsed my TEDx talk for 12 hours straight the day before (not to mention the days prior). I so wish I could have just spent three hours and have been okay with it, but I just can’t get myself to do that. Most articles I write take over seven hours, despite trying to to keep them to a couple hours every single week. It’s been a blessing and a curse.

18. I’m more extreme with things than I’d like to be. And sometimes it gets me hurt.  

This is something my parents and Chelsea are always a little concerned about. I like extremes. Or better put – I really only seem to be able to operate on extremes. I only have two levels: Absolutely everything I have, or nothing at all. It’s exhausting. It’s pour 400 hours into building a product or spend zero. Run an ultra marathon or stick to walking. Eat fried foods and sweets or do nothing but veggies. Instead of doing a casual CrossFit class, I push myself to win. Last year that resulted in an impinged shoulder and partially torn hamstring. It took me nine months to recover. I’d love to be more casual with some of the things I do.

19. I don’t always do the things I’m supposed to do. 

I read and learn a ton about health, performance and optimal living. And just because I know how to live a strong, healthy, powerful life doesn’t mean I do all of it. I screw up all the time.

19b. I have been arrested in high school and put in jail for the day – but the charges were later dropped…

I’m adding this late and have now idea how I left it out because it was a hell of a story!

I grew up in an outdoors family and some friends and I were out at a private property of our families and shooting shotguns at tin cans and targets when the police showed up in full force, guns drawn (3 cars and 5 men) and yelling through a megaphone ,”Put your weapons down, put your hands up and slowly walk towards the gate.” They thought there was some type of a shoot out going. It was like we were in a movie and it was terrifying. They took me to jail, and my friends had to get a $10k bail bond to bail me out. It took like 12 hours. Longest 12 hours ever…

All the charges were later dropped since we were indeed on private property, well outside of city limits and not actually causing any trouble, but it was a total mess. Thanks for reminding me in the comments below Paul :).

20. I love Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. And I get my ass kicked a lot.

I don’t think there’s anything that makes me feel more alive. I was on a competition team for nearly six years. I actually did pretty well, too. But I stopped because I didn’t want to deal with the injuries. Three weeks ago I decided to drop into an academy near my house. It was the most invigorating two hours I can remember having. The next week I got a bruised rib in class and I haven’t been back since. If I could only dial down the intensity to 50%…

21. I have pretty much zero rhythm, but I’m not afraid to (break) dance. And sometimes my pants split open…

As a child, my friends always made fun of me for looking like a scarecrow on a dance floor. Then I moved to Spain and realized no one knew I was embarrassed to bust a move. So I told everyone that I loved to dance. They believed me and actually thought I was decent. Now Chelsea and I love to get down. In fact at a wedding last weekend I danced so hard that the butt of my pants blew wide open – and I didn’t even realize until I got home. Now that’s how you dance your ass off (here’s proof).

Sometimes we even watch YouTube videos to learn the latest music video moves – like how to shuffle. We even took a series of breakdancing classes earlier this year. It wasn’t pretty, but what the hell – here’s a short video of me in action…

Don’t see a video? Click here

22. I can sing every word to the musicals RENT and Wicked. 

I’ve seen RENT about a dozen times. I freaking love it. Wicked is the same. In fact, I like a ton of musicals. There are a few tracks from each on my “Inspire Me” mix on my iPhone. And on special party nights I’ve been known to belt it out with friends at the top of our lungs during the wee hours of the morning.

23. I can do the splits. 

This is hard for a guy to explain, but I’ve always been kind of obsessed with flexibility. One time it lead to a slight muscle tear. My wife being a yoga teacher doesn’t hurt, or I guess it did that one time ;). Yoga teaches often tell me “you’re very open for a guy.” I take that with pride.

24. I’ve done some things I’d never do again – like running with the bulls.

We started from the most aggressive point on the course – right at “dead man’s corner” where we thought we’d have the best chance of running into the arena with the bulls. It worked. It was also the single highest moment of panic of my life. I would not have done it if I knew the type of chaos involved. But I’m happy to have the story to tell…

Running with the bulls

25. I used to be a tour guide throughout Spain, Morocco and Portugal.

When I lived in Sevilla, I was a tour guide on the weekends for my friends Eric and Jorge’s tour business, DiscoverSevilla. I can’t tell you the feeling of power I felt from holding a silly clipboard at the front of a tour bus.

26. I wish I was closer with my childhood and high school friends. 

I had some very close and fun friendships as I was growing up. And while some of them are still in my life in a big way, there are lot of those relationships that I really miss. It’s just that in the past years as I’ve learned more about myself and pursued a path true to me, I’ve had less and less in common with them. It’s driven us apart. I wish it hadn’t.

27. I like feeding ducks.

There’s a pond near my house at the Palace of Fine Arts. It’s so mellow and tranquil to head down there with some bread crumbs. I wish I did it way more often.

28. I love rosemary.

Every morning I go on a walk or run and pick a sprig from the same bush. Every time I pass a plant, I have to pick some. It immediately calms me down.

29. I have the musical tastes of a 13-year-old girl.

And I’m proud of it. Last month I was in the 3rd row at a Taylor Swift concert. It was freakin’ awesome. Three years ago I took my wife and parents to our first Taylor concert, and dad sent me an email the next day saying it was the best performance of his life. And between you and me, I’m trying to get Taylor to do a short Living Legends interview for our audience – so if you happen to know her, let me know!

I also have Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus and Christina Aguilera music videos on my iPhone and on my “Inspire Me” mix. In fact Party in the USA was the last song played at my wedding (although my interest in Miley’s stuff has fallen off a cliff since her latest embarrassments).

I really enjoy the music, but I also love how most musicians are so fully living their dreams. And some, like Taylor, still take their job as role model very seriously.

30. I’m really scared of getting old.

I turned 31 this year, and it’s been kind of tough realizing that I’m not a total beginner anymore. That adds a lot of pressure. I’m also really scared of the people older than me – especially my parents – eventually dying. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them right now.

31. I’m kinda terrified of public speaking – at least the building up to it. And a lot of things make me nervous. 

But I absolutely love it. Nothing feels more rewarding than stepping on a stage and doing my best to address and inspire a crowd. I love the feeling I get from being on stage, but the build up is absolutely brutal. Lately I’ve gotten a better handle on it, but the stress and anxiety that’s led up to some of my past few talks has been no fun at all. I’m learning how to cover the details without creating a pile of stress.

32. I feel rushed way more often than I’d like. 

I’m not sure why, but so often I feel like I don’t have enough time to do the things I need to do. Even though I plan my week very carefully and do get important things done, I almost always feel like I haven’t done all I wanted to do. It’s really unsettling. And the crazy thing is that I’ll sometimes feel rushed even when I sit down early Monday morning with 10 hours ahead to spend time on projects. It makes no sense and it’s something that I’m constantly working to improve, which brings me to…

33. I am constantly battling and dealing with stress – and it’s brutal. 

Anxiety too. With all that’s happened in the past few years, I’ve begun to feel intense pressure to deliver on a never-ending rising standard. It’s exhausting. And the on-and-off stress and anxiety that sometimes come with it has been incredibly hard to deal with. And massively frustrating. On the outside (and much of the inside) I have all I could ever ask for. A family, wife and friends who love me. A business and purpose I deeply believe in that more than covers my financial needs. An incredibly healthy body and the freedom to do things I want to do with the people I want to do them with when I want to do them. Yet for the past six months or so, there has been this level of stress that’s been taking a lot of the fun out of things and I just can’t get my head around it.

The last few weeks have actually been the most stress free I’ve had in months as I finally decided to draw a line in the sand and do something about it. Last Friday, I spent four hours in the garden at Green Gulch Zen Center with my good friend Lissa Rankin. That investment was incredibly helpful, and while the stress is far from totally solved, I’m very confident that I’ll figure this out. It’s my top priority.

34. I meditate for 20 minutes almost every morning.

I’ve been doing this since I took a Transcendental Meditation course a little over a year ago. It’s helped a lot and it’s one of the best steps I’m taking to calm the mind and soothe the stress. I’ve come to love my morning practice (most the time).  ;)

35. I don’t know what I’m doing a lot of the time.

This business and movement has grown so fast that a lot of the time I don’t have a clue what to do next. I just do my best to surround myself with inspiring people who have been there and stay true to my beliefs and values. I wish I could say that I’m steering the ship, but honestly, I tend to just hold on tight to see where it takes me.

I have no idea how you’ll respond to this list.

I’m nervous writing this right now. Flat-out scared, in fact.

But as Jonathan Fields likes to say, that feeling in your body, that intensity is a sign that what you’re doing actually matters.

I hope he’s right.

And to be honest, that felt really really good to share with you all.

I hope you’ll continue to accept me for who I am. Because that’s the only person I’m willing to be for all of you.

And I hope you’ll hold yourself to the same standard.

Now please, join me and share something about yourself in the comments.

I’d rather not have to do this alone.

Here’s to being you and inspiring others to be them,

-Scott

P.S. If you haven’t joined our Start a Blog Challenge yet, please take 10 minutes to join us. You only have until next week and you can win a $500 ticket to World Domination Summit 2014, and much more importantly, you will learn a tremendous amount about yourself. You can even start one totally for free if you want.

Here are the details and a short video I created on How to Start a Blog in Under 10 Minutes with Zero Tech Experience

Big Ideas & Share-Worthy Tweets:


Leave a Reply

263 Responses to “Painful Authenticity: 35 Honest Personal Stories, Fears & Facts You Don’t Know About Me”

  1. Amina says:

    Thank you so much for opening up! It was amazing to read about the real you. It’s comforting to know that even super successful people like you have hints they’re concerned about or unsure of. It’s great to be human! I wish we could all embrace that way more. Thank you again

    • Scott says:

      Hints you say?? Ha – they’re much more than hints ;)

      Gald you enjoyed it.

      But now you gotta share something with us. That’s the deal! :)

  2. Patricia BT says:

    Hi Scott!!

    I would like to comment on each of the 35 things, but will instead just comment on #5…
    LiveYourLegend would maybe not exist and all the great things you create could have been spoiled staying silent inside you if Barum had “done his job”!
    Who best than a rebellious child can turn into someone who fight the conventional path!

    Thx Barum for failing ;)

    • Patricia BT says:

      Oh I forgot to share one of mine…

      My fear of flying, since 1998 (my parents knew a couple of people who died in the SR111 crash that year), and before that I used to fly a lot!

      Nazrin (yes, “our” Nazrin) helped me with positive image and special training via Skype last spring, in order for me to be able to come over to Portland for the WDS and meet you all!

      (my pride : I flew again earlier this month to attend the WordCamp Europe)

      • Scott says:

        Love how you see the Barum situation! Agreed :)

        And so proud of you for overcoming the flying fear. That’s huge. I remember Naz telling me all about it at WDS last year I was blown away.

        Onward!

  3. Yazminh says:

    This was so fun (and touching) to read – thanks for sharing these with us, Scott! I love your consistency in who you are throughout everything you’ve shown of yourself; so comforting to know a real person is in the leadership role (as you lead us to a life well-lived).

    One of my less-desirable traits: Although I prefer kindness over most things, I actually have a very quick temper, which is usually under control on the surface.

    I will share one more thing, b/c it’s somewhat related: I tend to be emotionally intense; I’ve learned to appreciate it, but it’s sometimes difficult to be this way in a world that seems to promote the cool cat. I’m burstful. :)

    • Scott says:

      Thank you so much for sharing – and I love how you put that. “Burstful” :). Under the right circumstances, who isn’t?! Glad to hear you’re human. Because you sure seem pretty centered with all your awesome interactions in our Connect with Anyone community!

  4. Ashraf Jamie says:

    Great post Scott! We have quite a few things in common: a passion for career coaching first and foremost. Even similar views on Taylor and Miley. I also have a passion for learning, but sometimes I am undisciplined. Weird that you post this: the other day, I’m sure I was thinking it looks like this guy (you) are living the life. I love what I do (the last 2 years as an entrepreneur has not necessarily been great financially, but I love being in charge of my own life and feel like I’m making good progress) – I have plenty of commitments and I think I manage stress very well. Proves that if you compare any two people – it is impossible to better than the next in absolutely everything, there must be something that the other person is better at! Finally, just wanted to say that your break dance moves are the funniest…loved it! keep up the good work.

    • Scott says:

      Glad to have you a part of the adventure and fighting the good fight with us Ashraf!

      I used to be so embarrassed about those break dancing moves, but now it’s kinda just a joke to share. I’m so awkward out there…

      Congrats on doing what you’re doing!

  5. Stephanie says:

    The internet is full of image crafting so it was refreshing to read your post.

    I will share a fear that has reared it’s ugly head today. I am terrified that I will live my entire life and never really be good at anything. It’s an awful crushing kind of terror of the ‘what’s the actual point of you’ kind. Nasty stuff.

    Rent is brilliant. No shame there!

    • Lisa Stevens says:

      Stephanie, I am right with you on that need to be an expert at something. And add to that the fact that I am fifty! I have printed out the Expert Enough Manifesto from expertenough.com and that really helps. Funny thing, just yesterday I was looking at my cat. I thought to myself, all she has to be… is a cat, everyday. The cat that she is with her little quirks and cozy window preferences, etc. How beautiful is that! She is an expert at being a cat. You see where I am going with this? What if I was just an expert at being Lisa, with all that brings? The fact is that I have many, many interests and talents and these all rolled up in my nice “Lisa” package are perfect. Sometimes the “point of you” is that no one else will ever be more an expert than you at the “Stephanie” package. And, at least for today, you were able to help me feel not so alone by sharing your fear. Thank you.

      • Scott says:

        Perfectly put Lisa! Everyone is an expert at something and no two people are the same. That’s the most exciting thing! I guarantee there are people out there who would happily pay you to help them with something you’re supremely good at. You don’t have to be the best in the world. Not even close. You just have to be “expert enough” to help people who are way earlier on the path than you.

        For instance, I am no fitness expert compared to people I know, yet I’m confident I could put together a plan that would get massive results for a certain market of people. That’s pretty cool to know. And that’s just because it’s a deep interest of mine.

        The topic of expertise is SO fun for me. Because everyone who’s been on this earth for a couple decades, has something of value to offer. It’s your job to uncover it and then find the people who really need it.

        Oh and beware – you are likely already taking a possible expertise or talent of yours for granted. We never give ourselves enough credit. So ask those close to you. What do people thank you for? What do you love helping people with? Start there and dive in!

        Then check out some of our deep resources on expertise at http://liveyourlegend.net/archives

        Here are a few:

        http://liveyourlegend.net/how-to-become-a-trusted-expert/
        http://liveyourlegend.net/how-to-become-an-expert/

      • Stephanie says:

        That is so beautiful Lisa, and perfect. I certainly need to work much more on just being ‘me’ and being ok with that. I LOVE the cat analogy.

      • Cheryl says:

        Lisa, I think needing to be an expert is like needing to be perfect. They don’t exist. You can be as good as you need to be to get the results you want. If you’re not getting the results you want, study and learn more and project with confidence that you are what people need or you are what you need to be. end of story!

        I say do and be what you love. Enjoy life and most of all have fun doing it!

    • Scott says:

      LOVE RENT! And you know what is so great about what you just shared Stephanie? You becoming an expert at something is 100% in your control. You just have to decide where to focus. Then it’s off to the races. Can’t wait to see where you lay your sights!

      • Stephanie says:

        That might be partly my issue! Lack of focus. I am working on narrowing it down and committing. I am scared of being one of those people on the x-factor that thinks they can sing when they can’t and going for the wrong thing though! I am trying to learn to love the process, starting to realise that is all there is.

  6. Virginia says:

    Great post!
    I’m always hesitant to meet people because I’m afraid they won’t like me. This makes me hold back and I think makes me come off a little rude at times. I have a feeling of unworthyness and I hate that I can’t shake it.

  7. Jeremy says:

    I’ve noticed several folks I really admire taking this step, and I have to say: I love it. Basically all of the things that scare me the most about forging a path of my own arise from this “hall of mirrors” we construct around each other (and I always get the “fat mirror”).

    Scott, I’ll see your Rent and raise you Chess (Original London, Broadway, and Revised Concert versions). The Musical Phenomenon That Never Was. People remember “One Night in Bangkok,” but usually don’t know where it came from.

    I also think RuPaul is one of the smartest, best-adjusted people I can think of. And I hang around far too many PhDs to be good for my health. She needs to do a TED talk, like, nowish.

  8. Jo says:

    Great post. thanks for sharing! Point 32 and 33 particularly resonated with me…which worries me somewhat as I know I need to get a handle on it before I burn out!

    Ok so i’ll share…my self belief can be totally crippling at times. I am in the process of launching a product (a vegan fitness food range) and if i had more confidence I know I could have moved things forward 20x faster than i have…. oh and thing 2, that would be I beat myself up about everything (vicious circle).

    • Scott says:

      I feel you Jo! And I love the sound of your product.

      One way to kill the fear is to find a group of people who are dying to buy your product. And then presell it to them for a discounted price in exchange for their feedback. That’s the only way I’d ever launch a product these days. It takes almost all the risk out of it and you guarantee you’re building something the customer actually needs and wants. And everyone has a lot more fun. So win/win!

  9. Bianca says:

    Scott, thanks for sharing ‘you being you’ and making me smile!
    ‘Me being me’ is when I’m spending the nights writing blog articles I never publish, desperately dreaming that someone “high up” would read the ones I do publish and offer me a freelance job as a journalist or similar.. By joining LYL, I hope to get closer to that dream and scare away all those fears. :)

    • Scott says:

      Well Bianca the fact that you’re writing is the huge awesome step you’re already taking. Now the ‘easy’ part is just hitting publish :). You gotten get those ideas out to the world. If I could send this post to 51,000 people, could you meet me in the middle and start publishing some of yours??

      Oh and just for the record, never once have I had a freelance writing gig or guest post opportunity fall in my lap. Even after my TEDx or anything. Every single post has required me to reach out and sell someone on why it makes sense. And now I have my editor who’s starting to do that for me to be sure we keep getting out there.

      That’s just how it works. So lean into it, have some fun and start representing your work to the world!

      • Bianca says:

        Thank you Scott, I realise that there is a selling element in it, too, but I just figured that right here, right now is the best time and place to start! Building up some confidence just to learn how to fly and then see what will happen and when the time is right, I will know how to sell myself, I’m sure of it. You already helped me to start anyway. :)
        But you know.. that “Publish” button IS pretty scary!!

  10. I run a blog based on authenticity and vulnerability. And then this email arrived and I was envious. It resurrected my fear of failure, and old demons which dictate that we live according to the masculine paradigm of competition (instead of the new one I advocate – collaboration). It felt like you beat me to the punch which in turn made me feel small, petty and unsuccessful. Luckily my rational brain kicked in to quell my insecurity.

    Then I said to myself – “look if Scott’s saying what I’m thinking (in my much lesser known blog!), then we both know that being vulnerable is the key to greater love, greater life and greater happiness. And that’s pretty amazing. He’s right on the mark, and so must I be.”

    I look for those challenges in life which provide growth and analysis. And as painful as those facts were to share for you, I thank you for them – not just because it was good to see the real you (it was) – but also because it gave me the opportunity to transform my deep rooted fear of failure into a validation of success. Thank you.

    • Nicky says:

      Awesome vulnerability in this post :-)

    • Scott says:

      What an amazing reframe Lousia! And you are spot on. Collaboration is the way the businesses of today and tomorrow must be run. I know lot’s of people in my “space” but none of them are competitors. We work together. We help each other out. We share audiences. There is enough room for all of us and the more people fighting the good fight, the better!

      Hat’s off to you and your focus on what matters. The world needs it!

  11. Justin Douglas says:

    Scott, This may be one of my favorite things that you’ve done so far. Seriously, I love the CWA course and have used a lot of your ideas and tools over the last year, but as Po said, “This is pure awesomeness!”

    Here’s two things from me:

    First, as you can probably tell from above, I love kids movies. So much that I can pretty much sing every silly song from VeggieTales.

    Second, and the reason that I loved this post so much is that I often feel very unauthentic. I know so much and am very good at “looking good” when others are paying attention, but my actions often fall short of my aspirations and ideals. I actually think that it’s been one of the biggest excuses I used to not connect with others – for fear that they’d find out.

    Seriously this has inspired me more than you know.

    Thanks!
    Justin

    • Scott says:

      Well here’s to the awakening Justin!

      And how have I never heard of VeggieTales?! Guess I’ll learn once we start having some little ones.

      Can’t wait to see what you do with the newfound energy. Come back and share it with us!

  12. Michael says:

    Great post Scott. My only comment is that there is no such thing as over rehearsing for a TED or TEDx talk. So you can let yourself off the hook for that one. :-)

  13. Nely says:

    Awwww, thanks Scott for sharing. I really loved this post and thought it was touching that you took this step. It’s great to hear about the more “down to earth” you. You have a great website and I have learned a lot. You should be very proud of all you have done. Have a good day.

    • Scott says:

      Thank you Nely. I literally have to pinch myself daily as I see what this community has become. Thank you for making it what it is.

      Soooo you wanna share a little authenticity with us?? :)

  14. Greg Denning says:

    Love the transparency Scott.
    Mine would be that I love the chick flicks and the musicals too. Some of them are very inspiring.
    I’m also right with you on the intensity. It’s all or nothing. I’m a ‘Ready. FIRE! Aim.’ guy and I’ve fallen on my face a time or two because of it. I don’t regret it though; I would never want to be forever aiming and never fire.
    Reach Upward!

    • Scott says:

      Here’s to inspiring music!

      And I would give yourself a little more credit on the intensity. At least your doing that while traveling the world with your family! Hats off to that…

  15. Kevin says:

    Scott,

    I admire your honesty. I can only imagine what fearful thoughts and feelings rushed through your mind before posting it.

    Yet reading it as an outsider, it almost seems tame…as in, we all have our own things like this we want to share, but the fear of rejection/ridicule prevents us. Yet once it’s out…it’s almost anticlimactic.

    If your goal was, as you stated above, to be more open about you are so other people might be inspired to be more open about who they are, I think this is definitely on track. Much respect and love from Calgary, Alberta, Canada!

    • Scott says:

      Glad in clicked Kevin! And Yeah I agree. It’s weird. I was nervous as hell to post it. But now that’s it’s live I feel great about it!

      As with getting most anything off your chest I guess. Pretty cool how that works.

  16. Del says:

    Hi Scott, thanks for this post. I am in a very fearful place right now as I have quit my job with no idea about what I am going to do next AND my initial energy and optimism that fuelled the decision is starting to fluctuate wildly! My ‘natural’ state for the past few years has been one of cynicism and negativity regarding what I am capable of and how I can improve my life. Your work and others like it have helped enormously but the feelings of hope and energy are not embedded yet – I guess I have been under the illusion that anyone that has ‘made it’ has got those fears under control but your post tells me that it is a constant battle. Thanks heaps.

    • Scott says:

      The butterflies never go away Del. Like Jonathan Fields likes to say, you just have to learn to ride those butterflies :).

      As for where you are right now, I totally feel you. I’ve been there. No more than ever it’s crucial to surround yourself with the people who inspire possibility. The members of this community. The members of our private Facebook Group. And perhaps our Connect with Anyone community if you decide to take it to that level.

      Also do whatever you can to create an in person mastermind group to keep each other accountable and inspired.

      We have a ton of free tools on this stuff…

      The Ultimate Mastermind Workbook free PDF: http://liveyourlegend.net/how-to-create-your-ultimate-mastermind-group-workbook/
      Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/liveyourlegendlive/
      Connect with Anyone: http://howtoconnectwithanyone.com/joinus

      • Anna says:

        Hi Del and Scott,

        First of all, wow Scott- you are not a webpage, you are a human, just like me :). that’s what happened after your post. It’s so awakening and supportive to know others, as inspiring as you have worries, fears and flaws.
        Thank you, it does not take away anything form how difficult it must have been.

        Del, 2 of us on the boat so, I’ve quit my job too, still have the enthusiasm and passion, but nasty little fears start showing in random places. Would you go back though? I bet no. So…we will make it!

        Me…my worst nightmare might be coming true. I’m afraid I’m loosing my baby sister. Not many people would understand. I’m so so scared.

  17. Nick says:

    That disquieting feeling you get from revealing your less magnificent features is the false self. It rages against anything that is honest and open. You are taking the correct path in being your true self. Congrats!

    There are times when my IBS can be a real pain. Like when we were told to fasten our belts, the plane started taxiing out, and the restroom wasn’t available for about 20 min. After liftoff, after about 5 minutes when we finally got to altitude, the knowledge that relief was at hand was like having Christmas morning right there.

    The angst you are feeling may be coming from the rapid growth and development that you have embraced recently. A huge project gets a life of its own after a while. We wonder if we bit off more than we can chew. You’ll be fine. Just slow down a little and it will take care of itself. You have what it takes. You surely must have a sense of wonder and amazement at your business and personal growth. Life truly is amazing, isn’t it?

    • Scott says:

      It really does not get any better than this Nick. You’re so right. I’m incredibly grateful for all that you all have come together to make possible.

      I love this job!!

  18. Tarik Lee says:

    Scott you rock!!! thanks for sharing! here I go:
    I get angry way more than I really want to.
    I also love the notebook and purchased the deluxe !

    • Scott says:

      Yeah the Notebook is the best. Chelsea and I have an annual ritual to watch it near our anniversary just to keep in mind what really matters.

      I feel you on the anger too. That’s a constant evolution…

  19. Alexis says:

    Scott,

    The older I get, the more I believe authenticity is one of the few things that really matter in life. Thank you for your courageous post.

    My honesty for the day: I admire the way you talk about your wife and hope that someone someday will talk about me in that same high esteem.

    Your tenacity to live an honest and affecting life is inspiring. Love your blog.

    • Scott says:

      Wow Alexis. That is very cool to hear. The fact that you’re willing to write that down means that you are going to be the wife of someone’s dreams one day. No question. And it’s totally in your control to show up that way for someone you care about. That’s the really cool part!

  20. Hi Scott, awesome post and it’s great that you took the risk to make yourself vulnerable and exposed.

    Some of what you were saying actually resonated with me, especially liking chick flicks, that’s me, being stubborn… yes, failed a lot… hell yeah, more times than I care to remember, a rebellious child… indeed and still am a little, I think achieving any great dream or vision requires a rebellious nature to set you free from limiting conformity.

    I have to be honest and say that last part about what Jonathan Fields likes to say, that feeling in your body, that intensity is a sign that what you’re doing actually matters, actually started to make me cry.

    The reason being and this is me sharing something about me, I am now 40, and less than a year ago, only really discovered my true life calling and passion, my true north star, despite being right under my nose for many years, but other business ventures and projects conditioned me to ignore it.

    I feel I should have had my life pretty much mapped out and sorted by now, and feel i shouldn’t be starting over again (not a beginner anymore) which has a tendency to make me feel anxious, stressed at times, makes me feel small when around younger more successful people and rushed to get things done which can pile on the anxiety feeling, as I feel this is my last chance to do something great. As you said.. it can be brutal.

    But one thing I know and believe 100%, is that despite all my internal voices, the doubts and the fears, what I am doing now is going to be my lifes greatest working success and legacy to date. It’s this that gives me comfort and helps to relax me that frees me to move forward with calmness and moving in the flow, all the while accepting that the feeling of intensity going on inside me is a message that I am finally on the right path to help other people bring their life dreams, ideas and aspiration to a reality, much like yourself.

    Thanks so much for opening up and sharing this with us.. you touched my soul!

    Best wishes – Rhys

    • Scott says:

      Whoa – never heard someone tell me I touched their soul before. Awesome :)

      And so glad it was helpful!

      Yeah when Jonathan Fields first said those words live on stage at the first World Domination Summit, I about lost it. My body started to convulse in chills. Every hair stood straight up. It’s been a part of me ever since.

      And hats off to having found your calling so early. You have a whole lifetime to make your mark on the world. Awesome to hear you’re already getting started. Many make their discoveries much later.

      Congrats on doing what matters and thanks for being with us!

  21. Anne Marie says:

    Hi Scott,

    Your post was awesome – For my facts/stories it would have to be:

    -Ever since I learned Chinese my English spelling and grammer have completely left me. This is frustrating when I know that in the past I could easily do this and now it’s as if that file in my brain has gone MIA.

    - I absolutely love corny jokes – the cornier the better. And I know EXACTLY what to say to myself or a situation to make myself laugh probably more than I should.

    • Scott says:

      Haha. Love bad jokes too. Chelsea has two corny jokes that are actually about corn that bring us both to tears every time she tells them…

      1. What do you call a kidnapped corn kernal?

      …Torn from the cob.

      2. What do you call a naked corn kernal?

      …Porn on the cob.

      Ok so they are WAY better when she tells them live and they take her 5 minutes each as tears flow down her face :)

  22. Jennifer says:

    Thank you for sharing, Scott. All this did for me, is make you that much more relatable. You come across just as real here as you did the first time I discovered you (your interview with Jonathan Fields). You’re something special, Scott and I’m grateful for having found you and your work. Thanks again.

  23. Kurt says:

    Scott,

    You did a wonderful job opening up. It was easy to see the honesty and sincerity in your words.

    Like me, you beat yourself up about most facets of life. You’re a young man, a spring chicken Scott. Try looking down the barrel at 53. Man, oh man, would that I were 31 and had such a fantastic grip on knowing what my true passion is.

    I was a little freaked out as I read your post. I felt like you were writing for me. By the time I got to point #5, I backed up and started righting down all of your points that describe me perfectly as well. You might be interested to know we have 18 of your 35 in common (3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 11, 12, 14, 16, 18, 19, 20, 21, 24, 26, 28, 30 and 33!).

    This is how “bad” I am in my mind. I could right a novella here and share most of my darkest secrets but I won’t out of fear. Fear that others reading will think “who does this guy think he is?”

    I set up a website yesterday and took it down today…A typical knee-jerk thing for me. I’m too scared to let people think I don’t know what I’m doing.

    I just need to let this stuff soak in. I’ve always been one to know better after I’ve “slept on it”. Some of my best mechanical engineering design work ideas came to me in dreams.

    I won’t do it here but would gladly expound on the uncanny similarity of those 18 fears/facts that we have in common if you were interested.

    Thanks for your inspiration,

    Kurt

    • Scott says:

      That was a huge part of the point of this post Kurt!

      When you really open up you find out that you have so many things in common with those around you that no one was comfortable enough to share. But once you do, the connection and rapport hit an all-time deeper level.

      As for your blog, you’ve gotten make it live again!

      If you want, you can do it under a fake name as you get comfortable writing. Or just write really simple stuff to start. Baby steps rule the world. But you gotta do something. How about you publish a post on one of your 18 – the one that is the easiest (or least hard) for you to share?

      We all have to start somewhere! Then come back and share the link with us :)

  24. Paul K says:

    Good stuff, Scott! I can relate to you on the CrossFit thing…I try to go and just workout, however, I find myself trying to be first in my class every time…and it bugs me when I’m not (which is often!)

    I’ll share a few items about myself that most people are not aware of:

    -I talk to myself…like obsessively….I actually have “practice” conversations with myself and try to anticpate what I expect someone else to say and how I will respond to them. And my self conversations are often with famous people who I will likely never meet! I guess it’s good in a way…if I can’t find anyone to have a chat with, I’ll just have it alone! :)

    -I am a terrible dancer. In fact, my college buddies gave me the nick name “Tin Man” as I apparently move like the Tin Man from The WIzard of Oz when I dance!

    -I gave a really bad presentation during a college class (~ 20 years ago) and I am still not over it. Picture long, uncomfortable pauses, nervousness and the awkwardness of audience realizing that I was hopelessly unprepared. I regularly re-run that experience through my head and work to avoid the preparation mistakes I made in the past.

    -And finally, I was arrested in high school for defacing school property (I was a passenger in a car that did a ‘lawn job’ on the school lawn) and minor in possession of alcohol…not my finest moment!!

    • Scott says:

      Thanks so much for sharing Paul!

      And you come to think of it – I was arrested in high school too. How did I forget that one?!? I grew up in an outdoors family and some friends and I were out at a private property of our families and shooting shotguns at tin cans and targets when the police showed up in full force and guns drawn (3 cars and 5 men) thinking there was some type of a shoot out going. It was terrifying. They took me to jail and my friends had to post $10k bail to get me out. It took like 12 hours. Longest 12 hours ever…

      All the charges were later dropped since we were indeed on private property and well outside of city limits but it was a total mess. Thanks for reminding me :).

      And the talking to yourself is brilliant! That’s what you call conditioning and visualization. Living out possible future outcomes so that when they happen, you feel like you’ve been there and you have much more confidence taking action. That’s a very common practice with athletes and top business men. Tony Robbins and Napoleon HIll are huge on it. I do it a fair amount too. In fact tomorrow morning I’ll be taking a solo walk out by the water to talk myself through a best man speech I’m giving this weekend (that I could not be more excited about!).

      As for your presentation issue, I feel you. I’ve done a ton of work on the public speaking front. The tough thing is that you are associating an unreasonable level of pain with your speaking based on one thing that happened 20 years ago. To start transforming that, think of all the benefits and pleasure that could come from delivering a powerful talk to the right group today. Could be life changing. And if you never stand up and do it, think of the pain that could come from what you’ll miss out on. Once the pain of not doing it becomes greater than the pain of doing it, you will have action. And everything will start to change.

      I’d highly recommend Toastmasters. They were a savior for me. It’s nearly free and there are groups in most every town around the world. They are so supportive and have a brilliant system of getting everyone to speak in every meeting in some way or another. Seriously a no brainer for, well, everyone!

      Here’s to being tin men together :)

  25. Michelle says:

    wow Scott – this was so real and so refreshing. I am constantly late which I know people hate but you put it into words perfectly – I keep trying to do one more thing!!

    my biggest fear is that staying at my company for years and years although currently rewarding is going to be a regret. I am worried I don’t have the guts to leave when I should.

    and I have never considered myself someone who would be complacent or take the easy way out.

    • Scott says:

      Well in that case it’s time to start developing an action plan! Start learning, experimenting and building things on the side so that you can have pure confidence to take the leap (which won’t even feel like a leap) in the near future.

      That’s what all the free (and paid) resources on this site are all about. Please embrace them! There is plenty of free stuff for you to make massive progress too. Start with the past articles at liveyourlegend.net/archives

      Then check out our free Passionate Work Toolkit here: liveyourlegend.net/email-updates

      Onward!

  26. I’m not sure how I landed on this post but I read it in it’s entirety even though I made it a rule not to be on my phone after eight. I’m with you on the handstands – LOVE them (maybe more than sex)! I tried BJJ for the first time and have never enjoyed getting my ass handed to me more! I’m a health and wellness specialist – always have been and always will but my other HUGE passions include food, wine, whiskey, and tequila (a supposed no-no in the industry). I have an evil side that few rarely get to see. There’s a lot more where this comes from…too much to type especially since the sceptic all part of me says “no one ever reads this stuff let alone responds!” Thanks for opening up. I didn’t know who you were when I opened this but will make a point to learn more now. REAL people ROCK! Cheers to you and Chelsey (and the rest of your beautiful family).

    • Scott says:

      Well that’s not how we roll around here Jeannine. A comment like that gets a real response! No question :).

      Crazy how many things we have in common. And handstands are just so damn fun. Amazing beach handstand pic on your about page btw!

      So glad you found us and welcome to the the family. I have a feeling you’re going to add a lot!

      Btw, if you love whiskey, you have got to check out my friend Carin’s new Scotch brand she just launched that’s targeted at women and non scotch drinkers to introduce them to the wonderful world of brown stuff ;). She launched a few months ago and has been on fire. Was just written up in the local San Francisco newspaper too. It’s delicious stuff too.

      Check out SIA Scotch Whisky here: http://siascotch.com/

  27. Illona Mclay says:

    Hi I liked the last one ..sometimes you dont know what your doing…
    My share is ” I used to be indecisive ..now I’m not so sure ”
    I wish I could just make up my mind ..then I’d know what I’m doing !
    Really enjoy your site ..

    • Scott says:

      I am indecisive all the time Illona. It comes and goes with how confident I am about things at the time. Definitely something I’d love to get more of a handle on!

  28. Nicky says:

    Great post Scott!

    I have 16,17,18,19,31,32,33 and 35 in common with you.

    My share is: I have 2 children who I love but I do not enjoy being a parent. It makes me cross and sad when I tell someone that and they say “Yes you do!”.

    • Scott says:

      Well the perhaps you can just be a good friend to them :)

      • Nicky says:

        Just want to clarify, I am a good parent. I do not shirk the responsibilities of being a parent. What I am sharing is that, for me, it is largely not an enjoyable process. I worry about their health and well being, balancing their diet, making sure they have a good amount of activity and down time, attention from me, time with family, time with friends, discipline and love. A lot of parents will tell you they love every minute of it and that having children is always wonderful. I just want to point out that is not always the case. So if anyone ever feels like they are not coping, you are not alone.xxx

        • I totally understand what you mean Nicky. I am a mother of three young children. Most of my time with them is not spent smiling and rolling around on the grassy lawn with them. Parenting is the hardest job in the world! It’s also one of the most scary jobs in the world. Parents hold the responsibility of taking part in molding another human being who will cause a significant ripple effect in society one day. I do my best and pray that their ripple effect will be positive. I pray that my children will stay on the right side of the law and not be the next news story about a child who did something crazy. I pray that they will learn to make choices that will lead to a life that they will enjoy living.

          My children are my greatest treasures and biggest investment in my life. But, it is not easy and it is not always fun. It is hard to get out of bed some days because of the immense responsibility that lies before me. But, I get up because I am highly motivated to give them the best life that I can because it is my responsibility and I love them. Parenthood is difficult because of the crazy things that can happen. But it can also be difficult because of the boring and mundane times. After I had my first child, I felt like my days were extremely redundant as I struggled to get sleep in between feeding my baby. The days were filled with nothing but feeding and diaper changes. By my third child I learned to interact with a newborn more and learned to appreciate those quiet times. So, sometimes you just have to learn to make difficult circumstances better and tweak some things that don’t come natural. Living life to the fullest means sucking the best stuff out of anything and everything. Not easy. But doable.
          So, I admire you for being brave enough to say what so many parents feel guilty about expressing. Thank God for the gifted people who do miracles with children and naturally love to work with them. May God help the rest of us for whom things do not come so natural. We have to work at it. And that’s OK. Failing would mean that we don’t work at it and that we don’t try our best. So, as long as you never give up and you are the best parent you can be, your children will show their appreciation to you some day. That’s what means the world to parents who have made sacrifices of labor and love for their children.

          Anyone else know what I mean?

        • Vicki says:

          Nicky,
          Thank you for sharing! I’m convinced there are many who feel the same but, for some reason, the topic seems to be taboo. Kudos to you for putting it out there!

          I can somewhat relate because when I tell people I don’t want children they often reply, “Of course you do!” But some parents admit that if they had it to do all over again, they wouldn’t have children.

          I feel strongly that there should be more public dialog on this topic. So much so that it’s already on my list of things to blog about.

          Thanks again for your share. And, no, you are not alone.

  29. Ben says:

    Hey Scott,
    You really rocked this post, and I’m in gratitude for you opening up this way. I was really hanging on every word of your humanity.

    I can reread an article I’ve written 3-5 times and still have typo’s. It’s like I go blind. I try reading it a loud and printing it and still they make their way in there. I’ve even had my own mother and sister call me out on it! Maybe I need a Cherilyn!

  30. Tammy says:

    I love the fact that you get nervous about writing and speaking in public. I was so nervous doing my 1st mixer for Advocare where I was the presenter that I had to sneak in the kitchen & down a glass of wine to calm my nerves. I am quite sure I had 500 run on sentences and something that should have taken 30 min took over an hour because I felt like I was forgetting something every time I tried to close it out lol. I also started a blog for your contest and had to send my posts to my son (who is a blogger) to get his approval because I almost threw up when I hit the “Post” Button lol. Considering how Awesome I think all of your writing is, I feel much better knowing that you have the same nerves and anxiety as I do when I write! Thanks for Sharing!

    • Scott says:

      We are a lot more similar than you might have thought Tammy!

      And that throw up feeling is a great sign! It means you’re doing something that matters. It doesn’t get any better than that.

      Congrats on getting your ideas out to the world!

      And yes wine is a nice way to get a little courage for the stage -depending on the venue ;). You can be sure I’ll have a little sip before my best man toast this weekend. But just a little…

  31. Thank you for sharing, Scott. I appreciate your willingness to always be authentic.

    What I need to admit is that I’ve spent the last year hanging onto a relationship that I should have let go of long ago. I made every effort to make it work and now I’m letting go. It’s scarier than anything I’ve done over the last year, and it’s been a year in which I have constantly stepped out of my comfort zone. I’m feeling relieved and sad. But I know that being patient with myself will be the key to moving on and it will help free me to move forward in my life and my career as well.

    • Scott says:

      Well I congratulate you on your courage and willingness to finally make that decision Pamela. Even though it sounds like the writing is on the wall, it’s never easy to draw that line in the sand. I’m proud of you. We’re in your corner however we can help.

  32. Matias says:

    A few days ago I read an article that said that an important life lesson is to realize that we are going to spend most of the time figuring out stuff. I feel inspired for the authenticity on each point of the post, but I was specially moved by your recognition of sometimes being lost, having things to improve, fears and personal challenges. I guess that´s the kind of stuff that we are not inclined to talk about with others, and that makes us carry them alone. Ironically, they are our most human side. The whole LYL movement, the courses and the community have not only gave me the certainty about that´s possible to do work you love, but also has brought me back to the idea that there´s no shame on showing who you truly are, what you stand for and what are your struggles. In fact, the message is clear: being yourself IS the way of building awesome stuff. This post is the perfect example of why we all feel so great being a part of LYL. Awesome!
    PS: If anyone is interested, you can find the article here (I thought it was pretty cool) http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/20-things-nobody-told-you-while-growing.html

    • Scott says:

      Great article Matias! Thanks for sharing. I’m pretty sure I’ve come across that before. So good.

      And yes, we will always be figuring things out. That’s what makes the adventure so damn fun!

  33. Alex Mill says:

    Thank you for constantly being an awesome role model. You don’t just say what to do — you demonstrate HOW to do it. You don’t just say “go start a blog” — you also create a compassionate video that shows how easy it is, (and by the way, I created mine soon after and it’s been a marvelously creative, off-the-wall fun experience!)
    And with this latest blog you’ve written — you didn’t just tell people to write whatever is real for them in their blogs — you modeled what that looks like — for all of us. Deep gratitude for this, Scott. Without taking up a ton-o-space, I’ll jump into the OPEN ZONE with you too, since you offered.

    1. I was a Zen Buddhist monk for 13 years.
    2. When I was a kid, my favorite activities included putting gloves on my feet and pretending I was King Kong, lifting weights while watching the Hulk on tv, and playing our Tron video over 50 times, (proudly memorized every single line from that flick!)
    3. I wish I was better at communication. I don’t often say enough to others before acting and this gets me into trouble.
    4. I love many things and want to do EVERYTHING. Often times this is an exciting way to live but sometimes I feel like I may be watering myself thin and not giving ONE thing a boat-load of focus.
    5. I have a very useful talent: I can turn on an enthusiasm switch inside of myself that gets others to do the same. If there was one skill that I could put to use more often — it would be this one.
    6. In contrast, many of my interests aren’t a good fit for my current environment. A bit of a social “misfit” I would say: I don’t take drugs, drink, watch TV, go out to bars. I am however vegan, a fitness/yoga fiend,I love to learn AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, meditate, cook, create… I miss California!
    7. I’m 44 but have been told I look like I’m 28 (must be all that clean livin’ :) ) and yes, I too get concerned about my parents and their health. Part of why I left the monastery was to be with them and assist as much as I can.
    8. I feel like I am always attempting to offer my 2 cents on anything someone has to say. For instance, when you shared about your anxiety — I knew EXACTLY what I would encourage you to do. I never know how others feel about this, but sometimes it makes me wonder if I’m really in a conversation WITH them or looking for ways to ADD myself in.
    9. I too have those intense moments of being lost in some creative endeavor passionately, with plans of action, etc. And then those moments when I could sit and watch the trees blowing in the wind for hours. Must be that split within me: the wild entrepreneur making something of this life and the wild Zen Monk who knows that life is making something out of him.
    10. I have an undying passion for what is truly essential for myself as a human being. “Whats” or “contents” in life like job, partner, possessions can sometimes muddle me up in my pursuit of the big “HOWs” of life. Like being happy, experiencing equanimity, and living a compassionate life. I’m grateful I have practices that continually remind me how to remember what is truly essential.

    Thanks for listening and inspiring the best, as usual.

    • Scott says:

      Well thank you for sharing Alex – this is exactly what I’m talking about!

      #2 sounds like a ton of fun, #5 is priceless and please do tell what do about the anxiety! I’m all ears and eager to learn, esp from a legit Zen Monk!

      So glad you’re with us and thank you for being as open as I was willing to be with you all. You just shared that with tens of thousands of people :).

  34. Abigail says:

    Thanks for sharing Scott. You are my idol and I wish to follow in your footsteps someday. I follow your blog through e-mail (I also live off on my e-mail) and it’s my first time to comment! Yay!

    I, too, am a bit of late and procrastinator. But I love doing things fast. I know it’s bad, but the adrenaline rush is addictive.

    Another funny thing is that I am afraid to fail.

    I start things and when some thing either not picks up or face criticism, I give up, abort mission. I hate myself for that.

    I am disappointed with myself specially when I see my friends who have better careers.

    :(

    • Scott says:

      Well the fantastic news is that’s all 100% in your control to do something about Abigail. And we’re all here to support you as you lean into the uncertainty, charge forward and start riding the butterflies!!!

      And hurray for your first comment. I look forward to it not being your last :).

      • Abigail says:

        Thanks Scott.

        I don’t know you reply to each and every one of these comments.

        You know what, I feel free-r now that I’ve said it. And now I feel I can do something about it!

        :D

  35. Cazz says:

    Scott, you’re such a dag and I love it!

    So many of the things you list I also struggle with and I have about as much as a pea on my plate compared to your entire Sunday Roast!

    But sharing some of the dorky qualities you have (pink linen, forreal?) makes you so endearing and the more difficult truths you share a lot easier to relate to.

    I suppose we all need to make peace with the fact that we’re not going to ever be free of some of these feelings in order to let go and have their influence pass us by.

    Thank you for sharing! And don’t sweat it, sharing your true self is harrowing, but for the most part, people are caring and gentle with the information. :)

    • Scott says:

      Well I greatly appreciate your compassion and acceptance. And love that you used the word Dag! Actually have no idea what that means and my dictionary doesn’t provide much help :)

      Most hilarious analogy ever with the Sunday Roast btw!

  36. Terrin says:

    I think that this post was sooooo needed. I think that we all think that the people we look up to as leader, guides, or whatever are “perfect”, not even always becuase they’re trying to persuade us or present themselves as perfect, but I think we naturally want them to be less flawed than we are and create the illusion for ourselves. So the fact that you’ve taken the time to make it very clear that you’re not anything bigger or better than anyone else is extremely helpful in making it easier to reach out to you, trust you, and even take some of the valuable advice you have to offer. Thanks

    Also, I have a blog already (that I’ve decided to actually take more seriously) how do I join the challenge?

    • Scott says:

      That’s what I love so much about this experience – it reminds us all that people are people. No matter where we are in life, we all share the same struggles and challenges. And with that, we can all relate and help one another as long as we’re willing to put ourselves out there. When we do, the world stands in our corner.

      • Scott says:

        Oh and btw, awesome about your blog. You can absolutely participate in the challenge with an existing blog. I will announce the details of the challenge once the blog starting deadline is past (end of Oct next week). The main thing you need to know is that you have to be willing to write something once a week. Anything will do, no matter how long or short. The other details will come but that’s the gist. Easy stuff :)

  37. Thanks for being so brave Scott! This post will undoubtedly inspire us all to be stronger and to realize that we are all people with different strengths and weaknesses. None of us is perfect. And that’s OK. I can definitely relate to you on point #35. Many times in life, people are just winging it! Leaders don’t always have the answers for everything. Sometimes being a leader means to be an example to others of how to climb the ladder of success while learning. We could weave a thread through the archives of your blog and see how much you have learned and grown through your journey of just being brave enough to do things. That is what makes you a great leader – Sharing your journey with the rest of us. That’s why so many people respect you and are encouraged by you. You have very eloquently kept it real man. I hope that you can lower your stress levels and be more at peace. Know that we do not expect you to be perfect or to have all of the right answers. We just love sharing in this crazy journey of life with you!

    My personal point to share: I don’t want to die without contributing something great to the world. It doesn’t even have to be to the entire world. I would love to just help change a few peoples lives. I went through a major point of hell in my life and a lot of people painstakingly helped me to get through that rough time. I don’t want to die before I can pay that forward.

    • Scott says:

      Thank you for this Faith. It’s actually really calming (and of course extremely humbling and rewarding) to read. Would be really fun to weave through the archives to see how the story has unfolded.

      That’s another reason why I love the habit of consistent writing and keeping a blog. Leaves the perfect paper trail of how your thoughts, beliefs and dreams develop over time. So fun.

      As for you not wanting to die without contributing – you stating that publicly here gives me a lot confidence that you will more than take care of making your impact. And you’ve come to the right place. We’re here to help however we can :).

      Glad you’re a part of the adventure! And to think we’re just getting started…

  38. Jan says:

    I loved your post! “Number 33. I am constantly battling and dealing with stress – and it’s brutal. …Yet for the past six months or so, there has been this level of stress that’s been taking a lot of the fun out of things and I just can’t get my head around it.”

    In the last few months I feel like I’ve been dealing with this as well.

    It seems like over the last few years I’ve created a business that has started to really pay back for me this year as well as a complementary business that has really paid us (my husband and I) back. I was working a full time job that I hated but stayed at because I needed the money to use to get our businesses up and running. With the success and growth has come a lot of work. I love what I created, but a lot of the fun part is the creating. Once it becomes created and is just starting to get successful I get bored and want to start something new to be challenged. I didn’t feel like I could quit my full time job. But I didn’t want to keep doing that either. I’ve looked into other options for the future, not thinking I could make enough money from our businesses quite yet but knowing I really didn’t want to keep working my full time job. I decided to figure out what I was really passionate about through your program. I realized I really like the businesses that I created but felt like I was missing the interaction I needed. I started to looking into programs for teaching, thinking maybe I would look into getting my masters so I could teach. Talking to a professor for a few months I finally decided to enroll (not knowing how I was going to find the time) but figuring on just taking one class at a time and eventually work towards my masters degree. Out of the blue, I got a email from her saying that the local high school was looking for a part time teacher. The next thing I know I’m teaching part time and going back to school and quit my full time job that I hated. I now love every part of what I’m currently doing (the businesses, teaching, and school)but everything all together has become too much. So I’m looking into what I can do to lighten my load. I think sometimes we are just stressed because we do have more to do than what we can handle and just don’t want to admit it to ourselves. We think we can do everything, but the stress is telling our bodies something much different. Thanks for helping me with my passion. I do love teaching! I’m teaching computer classes in high school. I love learning new things myself and I love to teach to others. I do feel like I found the missing piece. Now I just need to find balance with everything (most likely needing to remove something that no longer is serving me).

    • Scott says:

      Yeahhhhh Jan!! I can’t tell you how fun it is to read a story like yours. Talk about a well-deserve journey of discovery and success. Love it!

      As for the stress and having too much to do, the main thing I’m focusing on from a business perspective to help with this is to set up the proper systems, processes and talented people to help take the lead on things that I’m not that great at and simply don’t have the time to do well. That has helped more than I could ever describe. I can hardly sleep now with how exciting it is to be forming this team. They can start at just a few hours a week or something and just be sure they fully believe in your vision and share your same Why. Then things start to get really fun.

      A fantastic resource and roadmap for this is the book and framework Work The System. That’s be priceless for me. Have a look here: http://www.workthesystem.com/

      Here’s to simplifying – and only spending our time doing the things we’re actually good at and enjoy. It’s more possible than we like to believe…

  39. Leah Hynes says:

    Thank you for giving us all permission to be authentic Scott. Having met you in person, you are one of the most authentic people I know.

    For me, I have never taken responsibility for the direction in my life, for finances and speaking up. I have played the victim for a lot of it.

    That victim role still comes up for me now every day where I feel sorry for myself…’why me!’. And then I remember that it’s just a bullish*t story I made up so I could shirk responsibility for being amazing. I’m still working on giving it up entirely.

    I feel refreshed reading this. Thank you & I think we all love you even more!!

    Leah xo

    • Scott says:

      Well you ladies bring this all out in me more than you realize.

      And obviously your “taking responsibility” issue is a thing of the past with all that you, Naz and Melanie have built with The Pursuit of Purpose. Talk about being on fire!!! I know our community here is SO much better as a result. Your coaching for our Connect With Anyone community has been pure gold!

      Thank you for taking the reigns you have. The world is better off. I know I certainly am!

  40. Robin says:

    Thanks for sharing Scott, like a lot of others have said we all can claim to have similar experiences.
    When I was young I was shy and scared to do anything different because of what others would think of me. I also accepted what others thought I should do, and now at 61 have realized I had the choice to make my own life.
    Now I am more hesitant to try things because I feel I have more to lose if I fail, less time to makeup for the mistakes.

    • Scott says:

      But you also have less time to waste Robin! So there’s even more urgency to lean in, take what’s rightfully yours and make your dent in the world. We’ll all be better for it and you have over 70,000 people from every country in the world here to support you. Time for some fun!

      So… what do you have in mind? :)

  41. suz says:

    I was truly afraid no one would show up to help after my recent surgery. I was right to be scared. No one did. Brutal.

    • Scott says:

      So sorry to hear that Suz. Sometimes it’s important to let the people close to you know how important it is that they do one thing or another. Even if it’s just one person from work or some other part of your life.

      I am training for a big race in December – a way longer distance than I’ve ever done. But I have not made a huge deal about it and when I brought it up with Chelsea she didn’t really think it was a big deal and wasn’t really planning to be there to support. Not because she didn’t want to, but just because she didn’t think I cared because I hadn’t said much. I clearly assumed the wrong thing. I should know by now how dangerous assumptions are ;)

      My thoughts are with you and a healthy recovery!

    • Robin says:

      Maybe they all thought you could cope…. let them know you need them… I am sending you lots of hugs and prayers and wish you have a speedy recovery! :-)

  42. Jennifer says:

    I am massively insecure and overconfident at the same time. It’s like I know I’m good, but worry if I’m wrong about myself.

    • Scott says:

      Thanks for you openness Jennifer. And I’d say there’s only one way to find out. Try slowly testing that assumption with little baby steps of putting yourself out in public. Notice what happens and then correct accordingly.

  43. Jenna says:

    The last few years, I’ve been learning so much about what technology makes possible, and have been struggling to translate my life’s work into this new paradigm to give it to the world – without overworking or putting my health at risk. My vision has seemed so big that I’ve been paralyzed and overwhelmed, unable to imagine the first step. Then I fell in love. Then, my partner moved away to be near his young kids, and broke up with me, but we stayed in touch as friends. After a year of that, we both finally admitted we’re unhappy apart – and this was the motivation that got me to join a mastermind group, join LYL, and start creating first steps. I need a business that lets me travel to be with him. Before, I was all tied in knots over whether anyone will want my work, what they’ll think of me, how should I start, how do I get people interested. Now, I’m working for love – and I’m going for it.

    • Scott says:

      How amazing is it to see the power of having a deeply important reason for doing things eh Jenna?! And nothing gets more powerful than love!

      Huge congrats to you – I’m excited to see how it evolves. Keep us posted.

      Here’s to love :).

  44. Chris Soncrant says:

    Scott, what you’ve done here is beautiful. I myself grow so weary of hearing about all the “perfect” people who went form nothing to amazing… what I like to hear, what I need to hear is the stories of overcoming struggles. I have been an extremely depressed person almost my whole life (up until a few years ago).

    I literally hated who I was, everything about me I simply despised… there was no one on the planet who I felt more disgusted with than me. It was the absolute embodiment of a living hell. I tried to escape this by using drugs (mostly smoking a lot for pot), and playing video games, and isolating from the world around me, but this simply trapped me into the shell of self-hatred that I so longed to escape from. I was one of those who looked to their past and placed a lot of blame on everyone one else around me, my parents especially. I was so pissed at them for bringing me into this world and “doing what they did to me.”

    It all accumulated to the point to where I felt so much poisonous, horrible energy coursing through my body on a daily basis. I was so scared of being alive, but at the same time I was so scared death. I felt so trapped within myself. It was absolutely torrential. I remember just yelling out “I HATE!” At that moment I was the embodiment of hatred. And that’s when it clicked. I don’t know what happened, I just knew that I was going to do everything that I could to “fix” myself.

    Easily the BEST decision I made in my life thus far has been to forgive the people who I placed so much blame on and take responsibility for how I was feeling. I knew so deep down inside that the worst thing I could do was hate my parents. I imagined what it would be like to be a father to a child that hated me and despised his own life and this ripped me to my core. I balled like a baby. And I knew that that was NOT what I was going to do to them. At that moment I decided that I was going to love them because they didn’t deserve anything less.

    My parents were (and astir are obviously) just humans trying to figure this thing called life out, just as I was and am. I get to look back on those very dark times with a tremendous smile on my face now because my life and my family’s lives are so much more different than what they were just 3 short years ago. I still struggle with feeling down about myself, but I am learning to embrace this person that I am. It ain’t easy, but boy it’s sure a whole lot more fun than what it was before!

    I have a tremendous faith that my experience was not for naught… it’s simply a matter of time. I am here today because I have a purpose and I am getting closer to that purpose with every experience I have. There is no wasted energy in this world! There is only a vast amount of potential and we all get to choose to embody this potential. I am learning this and will continue to learn for the rest of my life. Learn and grow, and learn and grow some more, and help as many people as I can along the way! Anywho I know this was long-winded and there’s fear knowing that I am going to put this out for people to see and judge and do with it what they may, but this was a huge part of my journey, and I am not afraid of being naked… well, you know what I mean ;)

  45. Andrea says:

    I absolutly love it!! I just write a blog post 3 weeks ago about how I think than for being gay I couldn’t be successful. I wrote about what it took to change this and realizing that I can have a relationship with the love of my life (which happens to be a girl) and achieving my dreams of helping people to live better lives, become a great public speaker and travel the world while making it a better place! It is hard to open in that way, but I found it totally worth it! I really identify myself when you mention being apart of childhood friends because there are not common things as it used to be! Or feeling small around your actual and new friends! (Guess I should somehow blame (in a good way) How to connect with anyome and ur scolarship for this hahaha). It really challenges me to keep working!! I also love when you mention the nights laying in your bed terrified of the next steps or just laying there thinking!! thanks for this great article Scott!! I am really looking fordward to meet you in person somewhere in the world!! Let me know whenever you come to southeast asia! I am in Kuala Lumpur but I can move anyplace around here!! Lots of mexican love for you and all the live your legend team!

  46. Well, Scott, looks like this post was a true success. I’m grateful to you and the LYL community for your authenticity and vulnerability. You _will_ change the world your courage and integrity. Brené Brown would be proud of you guys! (Have you read _Daring Greatly_?)

    When I stumbled on LYL a couple of months ago (via your TED Talk, Scott), I was immediately inspired. When I found out that you had launched this revolution in your early thirties, well, I was impressed, but let’s just say it also took the wind out of my sails …

    I’m 41 and I have adult AD/HD. Problem is I didn’t find out about the AD/HD until September 2012. By then, I had gone bankrupt twice. How’s that for financial disaster?

    Try explaining to people that you have a problem with executive functioning. Most people don’t even know what that is. When you tell them it’s difficult to control impulsive behavior or to manage time or overwhelm is frequently an issue, they just roll their eyes or stare at you blankly. Do you know how many people don’t even “believe” in AD/HD? It’s like someone saying they don’t believe in type 2 diabetes.

    At my age, I’ve yet to have a career–unless you count the four years I floundered around in IT as a programmer. It’s really embarrassing at social functions when you get the “Oh, and what do you do?” question. By your 40s, people expect that you have your sh*t together, that you own a home, that you have a respectable retirement account, etc., etc. I have none of the above. And, frankly, the only part that bothers me is how people judge me because of it.

    To put the cherry on top of the proverbial sundae, in August 2009, I married the man who I thought was the love of my life. (We were one of the first same-sex couples to marry in Iowa, after their Supreme Court cleared the path.) We returned to our home state and began working with an equality organization so we could use our story to pursue marriage equality in Texas. A week later, less than six months after we had stood before a district court judge and declared our vows, my spouse left our marriage. I never saw it coming. Rather than working for equality for the next five years, I got to wrestle with the emotional trauma of my “Britney Spears marriage.”

    If I were to offer this to people, most would turn tail and run, and I can’t say that I’d blame them. The funny thing is, to meet me, most people wouldn’t realize I’ve had such an “unsuccessful” life. In spite of my wounds, I’m fairly well adjusted. And, I have meditation–specifically vipassana and metta–to thank. They’ve allowed me to hold all of this and still wear a smile most days.

    I can’t tell you how badly I want to hit the delete key on this, but everyone had the courage to submit such beautiful and authentic stories, and that inspires me to hit the Submit Comment button instead. Namasté.

    • Anon says:

      I can relate to a lot of your post and it was very comforting to read. You’re not alone. I feel the same way about a lot of things. :)

      • Thank you, Anon. I really needed your words today. I’ve been struggling with how vulnerable I should be on my blog. It’s tough. You put stuff out there, and you hope you don’t come off as “a freak.” Then people like you reply, and I realize you’re “my tribe,” you are the reason I write. Gassho, Anon. May you be well and happy. =]

  47. Toni Antonette says:

    Hi Scott,

    thanks for sharing this.

    What struck me is the fact that the things you’re possibly a little ashamed of (reading chick flicks, wearing pastel, doing the splits) made me smile and actually believe in you, your ideas and this website.

    Autheticity!

    What I’m currently most ashamed of is the fact that my boyfriend is paying all the bills which should be our joint bills. I barely make enough money to cover my monthly expenses and for the last 4 years he has had to spend most of his income on our rent, electricity bills and all the odd costs that happen to come along.

    What to innocent onlookers might seem like a comfortable, secure life is truly tormenting me.

    Greetings,
    T

    • Anon says:

      That is exactly mine as well. 100% the same over here. It’s so uncomfortable when you want to be independent, but yet for me, don’t place high value on finances…

  48. Abdul Rahman says:

    I feel comforted to see emails pop in from LYL in my updates tab on gmail. As everyone else, i’ve seen your talk on tedx and it has liberated my mind to the idea of doing something you love doing rather than the opposite.

    To be honest, it’s been a tremendous struggle to find what I love and enjoy doing and know for sure that I love this thing and I wouldn’t get bored of doing it after a couple of months. Which is a challenge that I face constantly, I get extremely disengaged as soon as something becomes routinish. I have lots of vague aspirations, and dreams to do much more with my life that I belive I am doing at the moment. Everyone around me seems against the idea of leaving a job that I absolutely hate. At first I had a solid ground, but as of know I feel like I’m loosing that ground and giving my belief up, accepting that I will need to keep doing this job, untill I find something better. It becomes very challenging when you speak of your dreams to your friends and they disreagard it immediately as impossible and absurd.

    So although I look very confident, and the guy with a plan from the outside, from the inside, I’m lost, uncomfortable, and very low.

    That is why seeing your LYL pop-in my inbox keeps me motivated to belief in my ideas, dreams and aspirations.

    Thank you for sharing with us all of that!

    • Robin says:

      Dear Abdul, you have to listen to your heart… that always speaks the truth. Your friends are probably scared for you and don’t want to encourage you in case you fail. Believe in yourself and when it is time to meet your maker… will you regret the action you took or the action you didn’t take? All the best and good luck in finding your joy.

      • Abdul Rahman says:

        Dear Robin,

        “You have to listen to your heart” I haven’t heard that or even though of that for a while, I have actually ignored my screaming heart (coming to think about it now) for a very long time.

        Thanks a Robin. I appreciate your advice more than what you can imagine.

        All the best to you too!!!

  49. Diana says:

    Hi Scott!

    You just made my day! :)
    What you are doing is great!

    Best Wishes,
    Diana

  50. moemen says:

    First of all congratulations, you are brave to admit your weakness and mistakes although i think you were underestimating yourself in many of them. Although i had the courage to face myself with my mistakes ,i can never share them in public.i love always to be alone thinking and writing . I wrote more than 500 pages about myself ,lifestory, mistakes,lessons i have learned from life ,but i never share all these pages.i am not sure that is because i don’t have the courage to show my mistakes to others or because i think what i wrote is special and secret.
    I don’t know if being alone nearly all the time , hating to be with any person even my family is a kind of madness!! I have the pleasure of being described as weired and strange person unlike any normal person .maybe i had many characteristics in common with you but in fact in my own opinion some of them as for myself i regard them as an advantage of my personality rather than a disadvantage
    All my wishes for you to be happier and overcome what bothers you

  51. Hey Scott

    Wassup? My name is Darren Pereira. I saw you’re TED Talk on the weekend and I loved it.

    I run seminars here in Australia & New Zealand and am fortunate enough to reach about 25,000 students a year. Half my seminars are based on finding your passion. The seminar is called Shape Your Destiny.

    It was cool to see another young person keeping it real and spreading the message. ‘Do what you love & love what you do’ is my mantra.

    I thought I would connect with you and see if there might be a way to spread the message globally. I am now running 225 seminars a year and during peak times running as many as 4 high powered seminars a day. I can get quite exhausted with the amount of travel I do & energy I expend and would like to build a team. I also want to speak more about spirituality which is what got me to leave one of the Big 4 accounting firms, KPMG, and begin my own business. That was a huge & scary step which you know all too well.

    Your wife reminds me so much of mine. She is my inspiration and was one of the first to believe in me. She is soft and kind just like Chelsea appears to be. We’re also into food. Vegetarian as well. That was a huge step for me. I gave up meat at around 23, even though I hated vegetables and have been veg for about 16 years.

    Anyways, you can check out an old video of me when I started about 10 years ago:

    http://www.successintegrated.com/sneak-preview

    Peace brother & I hope to hear back from you.

    Cheers

    Darren

  52. Nicole Hill says:

    This is such an inspiring post. Thank you! I often feel very alone sometimes because I cannot relate to many people and wish I had a best friend or sister to talk to about anything (I’m an only child)and hang out with. I also tend to worry too much about money and worry that I may never find someone who is willing to love an Atheist like me.

    • Anon says:

      I’m the same way about my atheism, wondering about acceptance. You’re not alone.

    • I was touched by your words, Nicole. Some of the most beautiful people I know are Atheists. The man I consider my mentor and one of my best friends does not believe in God. Please know that you are perfect and worthy of love just as you are. <3

      • Nicole Hill says:

        Thank you so much! This actually brought a tear to my eye. Your kind words are proof to me that the world is changing and becoming more open. I wish you every bit of happiness, love, and success!

    • Just in case you haven’t already seen it, Nicole, I wanted to share a TED Talk with you: “Atheism 2.0″ by Alain de Botton. You’ll find it at the following link: http://youtu.be/2Oe6HUgrRlQ

    • Halina says:

      Nicole,

      You are so much more than just an atheist. I live in a rather Catholic city but I am not religious at all. I’m not sure I’m an atheist (that’s actually a journey I’m taking at the moment) but I know I am a person with so much to offer and so are you!

      The people who would discount you for being an atheist are not people you would want in your life anyway. Keep being your authentic self!

  53. Dave W says:

    Massive respect.
    This is counter cultural and 100% awesome.
    You went way up in my estimations and so far I’ve only just read the introduction.

  54. Awesome read Scott!

    Really enjoy these authentic posts, you definitely get a better feeling and understanding of the person behind the blog and success!

    I must admit it was nice to read the chick flick comment, I’m totally guilty of them being one of my guilty pleasure as well, never can get enough Rachel McAdams haha!

    and #26 really resonates with me.
    I’m only 22 but about to start my 5th year out of high school in 2014 and it’s like I dont have any friends from those years anymore.
    The choice to want more than just drugs, clubs and partying has left me distant and away.
    I’m grateful as I have a great girl, passion, aspiring blog, a house and a great future ahead but you can’t help but feel upset that you don’t have your best friends anymore.

    All the best mate!

    Cheers

  55. Kate Lambert says:

    Your post came at the perfect time for me as I have begun learning about the hidden imperfections of human beings. Your post is honest, brave and real. It has made me like you even more and it serves people better than them thinking that you are that special person they are not (and that’s why you have become successful and why they don’t really stand a chance). Its dawned on me recently that there is no ‘result day’ when you reach the place of perfection,when you become the ultimate human.

    Like life, we are always changing and as the psychologist Carl Rogers says ‘We never become, we are always becoming.’ So instead of focusing on ‘why we are not the person we seek to be yet’ we need to learn to accept ourselves for what we are now. This is my ongoing process and its not easy.

    I am scatty, disorganised, have bad time management, binge eat at times, am highly skilled at talking myself out of exercise, can becoming a bit preechy when i really believe in something, I put my appearance at too high an importance, better at talking than listening, sometimes over think and over analysing until my head spins, avoid washing my hair for days…BUT I have some pretty good stuff going on too – I’m learning to love my whole package as a beautiful mess!

    • “I’m learning to love my who package as a beautiful mess!”

      I’m moved and inspired by those words, Kate. In the end, I think that’s what it comes down to–accepting ourselves for the “beautiful messes” we are. I’d love to create a community of beautiful messes. I think the Beautiful Mess Tribe is “my tribe.” =]

  56. Anon says:

    Thank you so much for this post. Half way through, I cut and run to my computer journal and wrote about 40 completely honest facts about myself, some that even I have trouble admitting to the mirror. It was painful and it made me feel guilty and afraid, but it does feel good to have it off my chest, to see that I’m not in denial. Sadly, I don’t have the courage to change much of it.

    Perhaps, one day…

    -EM

  57. Maria Kayumi says:

    Scott, this is one of my favourite articles of yours ever. I’m so glad you shared all of that in spite of feeling scared to!

    I could write a looooong list. But for now, just this: One day, I’d like to write a blog post that leaves readers feeling the way that I feel now having read yours.

  58. Jessica Adams says:

    I’m a yoga teacher and sometimes I take a cup of coffee to my mat, a glass of wine has also been known to accompany me… I work with pregnant women and new mums and am pretty clued up about attachment parenting, Non-violent communication, talking to kids to kids will listen and listening so kids will talk, read all the Buddhist books on mothering, etc. etc. but I still find getting ready for the school run in the morning with two kids a nightmare and can’t get a handle on the stressful pace of, even when I have given myself two hours to get ready, and, so, yes, sometimes snap and rush my kids… I continue to blame my parents and extended family for the mess that was my home life as a teenager that took me my twenties and into my thirties to work through and get over, even though I’ve had plenty of therapy and know it’s really not helpful to hold onto it any more, I’m getting better… I know that the latter is potentially a huge source of creativity, and it has definitely helped me to find endless pools of strength and determination within myself, but I am still scared, really paralysingly scared to tap into that wellspring of material… I LOVE the fact that we’re all colours and all shades and that the stuff of life that makes us feel vulnerable and sad is a source of empowerment, that are shadows, the bits we are afraid to show, are often where the most beguiling aspects of ourselves and our lives reside. They teach us love and kindness and compassion, not to mention humility. Blessings. Jess

  59. Scott,

    Only a couple of things…I *never* used to reply to blogs or posts that I read, for a number of reasons. However, this time I am. (and this is the FIRST time I ever copied/pasted my ‘website’; I’m new to wordpress, thanks to your challenge, even though I didn’t go through your group or sign up for the lottery, as my objective was simply to win by starting. Nevertheless, I digress..
    I absolutely LOVED this post. You’ve made yourself much more human, and others will definitely be able to relate to you (as I have this morning) in many more ways. The one, no two, that jumped out at me were the handstands and the speaking in public. I used to handstand OFTEN! (especially after a few cocktails as well! lol!!) and I have to admit, there is a love/hate relationship that I have with speaking in public. I used to be a technology trainer for teachers. I grew to absolutely LOVE standing up in front of a room full of people and delivering my message. The hate is the anxiety that is built up to it, right before I open my mouth and the first word comes out. I miss that job. It was probably the most fun I’ve ever had. Part of me would say it’s what I was put here for, because secretly I would have done it for no monetary gain at all, only for the juice and the pleasure of it. (glad my bosses at the time didn’t know that or they would have taken me up on it!) Hopefully there will be a day when I can do that again, or something similar.
    Regardless, thank you for this post…it was truly a joy to read, and to relate to!
    Have an amazingly wonderful day!

  60. Ngoc Khong says:

    Hi Scott,

    I love everything you’ve done to teach us how important authenticity is, especially how you’ve modeled it for us. First you posted a video clip of you doing the break-dance, now you took a leap of faith and posted 35 personal facts. Actually I’m not surprised, I knew this day would come, I knew one day you would do this, because from the way you have written all the blog posts here I find you honest, authentic, very… you, just the way you are.

    I guess nobody has ever had enough courage to reveal such kinds of facts in public like you, even Corbett Barr who wrote the post “33 Things I’ve Never Told You” – half of what he wrote were still “safe facts” I think, but this post of yours – I could feel you poured all your heart into it, in a so much different way (Sorry if some of you find this comparison inappropriate, it’s just my 2 cents).

    Thank you, you are a truly inspiring leader who lead others by example, Scott. As a deal between you and us LYLers, I, a LYLer, will take a leap of faith too and write a blog post to share things that I never share in public. I’ll return and post the link to the post when I finish. Well that’s gonna be scary…

    Cheers
    Ngoc Khong

  61. B. Roof says:

    Thank you Scott, for showing me that being authentic is not a curse!
    I have a big problem with competitiveness (I just googled the spelling of this word!) in general. But especially with my fellow photographers.
    I know I’m a great photographer, but every time one of my fellow photographers does something I’ve done, I feel they did a better job than me. I should tell myself that it’s a good thing because I might have inspired them to do it. Or something simular. But that doesn’t stick in my brain. What sticks is; he/she does it better than you! And I let it haunt me.

    I am a very confident person. Have no problem with speaking in public, or even showing my authenticity. It’s looking at my fellow photographers that knocks me down, and I do it all myself. Not them.

  62. Sharon says:

    Scott – so brave of you to put this all out there, which I think is what it allows you to connect so well with others. We often think the same but are so fearful of sharing…..

    My biggest fear is that I worry I allow negative thoughts to sabotage my own success – I’m currently on the job search and am doing all the right things, networking with my contacts to have them keep me in mind when something comes up, jumping on any opportunities the minute I see them, helping others and recommending people when I see a role that I know someone would be perfect for…I try and keep a positive mindset every day, do the work to move me forward and keep momentum, but I feel like I often lose the mental game, which can bring me back two steps….people see me as positive all the time, I don’t allow them to see when I get discouraged, but it happens and sometimes sets me back which I fear is blocking my own success.

  63. Jeremy says:

    Scott,

    This is so incredibly awesome and you are such an inspirational and positive person who is up to such great things here at LYL. Thanks for being authentic. Thanks for putting this out in the world.

    Similarly like your recent dinner guest’s I was so nervous to meet and talk to you when we met. But when I did get the guts to walk up and introduce myself I had the most wonderful conversation with you and your wife, and my wife and I left the party feeling so inspired and grateful to have spoke with guys. We actually left wishing we could get to know you better and spend time with the two awesome people we had just traded stories and had such a great time with.

    Jeremy

  64. It is 6:00am and I have yet to go to sleep! I am blessed to not have issues sleeping and yet my head and heart have been racing all night. So, I took advantage of this found time to catch up on reading a book, organizing the front closet and emails. Lucky for me, I read your email and enjoyed learning more about you. We have a lot in common! Although I have never been able to do a handstand and do not own any linen clothes as I do not like to be wrinkled. LOL!

    Four years ago I made the biggest leap of my life by leaving a safe and comfortable career at a global firm to pursue my first loves of acting, voiceover and painting. I had a big title, big salary with a 401K, and thrived in a very structured work environment. However, I have always struggled with time management and am famous for being an “Eleventh Hour Wonder”. My genius kicks in the closer the deadline. Currently, I am struggling on my new path… the overwhelming rejection that comes with being an actor has left me doubting my talent and very stressed about money which we can all agree is the not the best mindset to seize the day. For the first time in my life, I am losing hope on what has been a life long dream. This scares me. Praying that the 11th hour magic kicks in soon!

    • Robin says:

      Hang in there Ferrell, when everything looks really bleak…. that is the moment to be brave and keep going! good luck!

  65. Dani Dane says:

    What a breath of fresh air! I loved reading all of your quirks! I’m able to be open like that on my blog, but in real life it’s a lot more difficult because I have to interact with people on a daily basis and don’t want to have someone not like me or not agree with what I’m saying. I’m working on it though. I’ve heard turning 30 helps with the not giving a shit what other people think thing. :)

    So, for my thing…I struggle with being productive in all areas of my life. I’ve started putting processes in place, like not checking my personal email at work and not turning the tv on at home before I get my list of tasks done. It’s working pretty well so far, but it doesn’t feel natural yet, so I’m fighting with myself on a daily basis. I’ll get there eventually. I just keep reminding myself that all the things I want in my life won’t happen with me sitting on my butt watching NCIS. :)

    Thanks again for the openness! Love your site!

  66. Philip says:

    Great Story Scott,

    Thanks for sharing.

    I am dyslexic and am therefore apprehensive when I need to spell out a word when delivering a talk or when I need to write down a long and complicated word on a flip chart. For a long time I believed (just like you- above), that I’m a bad speller. Until I learnt a really easy “visual spelling strategy” on a NLP course I recently took. It’s incredibly easy and works for everyone who thinks that they’re a bad speller- You can learn it in 5 min and you’ll be able to spell very long words forward and backwards! Fascinating! Look it up (not sure if anything good online) and if you can’t find it and would like to know- let me know?

    Best,

    Philip

  67. Harriet Hill says:

    Hi Scott,
    I recently came across your website and it signed up for your blog, but I still had a hesitation about what place your advice came from, call it the Britishness in me. But having read your post I feel like the advice you give comes from your heart and soul, and more importantly I feel like we could go to the pub and have a laugh. Thanks for sharing, I also feel that only good things comes to those who put themselves out there.

    As for a personal quirk, I’m a massive over achiever. Even though I also act laid back and say I hate competition, secretly I’m always wanting to be the best. I also have terrible spelling and it is my life’s ambition to do a hand stand!

    Keep up the great work.
    Peace
    Harri

    • Haha – well I can certainly relate Harri. A blessing and course indeed. And yes, I bet we’d have a blast over a pint. Hope to do it one day. I lived in London for a summer and miss the classic pint!

      Welcome to the family :)

  68. Nelson says:

    Scott, thanks for sharing!

    I have to say I was and still am scared of being vulnerable (of not knowing) because of I don’t know what!

    But I have come to realize vulnerability it key in the learning and sharing process, it helps you connect (what you are doing)

    S, I don’t show it as much but I am as or more vulnerable than most people and I think that I need to embrace that.

    Also I can’t let projects unfinished, can’t help myself.

    Best of all,
    Nelson

  69. Ken says:

    Scott,

    Great post. I am also a friend of Lissa’s and she has inspired me greatly. Hope I get to meet you at WDS2014. I like to think that I live pretty authentically and let people see and hear the full story, and I’ve even written my own blog post like this in the past.

    Having said that, here are two things for me:
    1. MOST days, I don’t have a clue what I’m going to do next. Like Lissa, I have a passion to heal the health care system, by helping people learn to empower themselves. I write and talk about it a lot and have a big audacious dream of making our community (and others) the “World’s Healthiest Community”. I have a good idea of the big picture and have been heard to tell a pretty good story and sound like I have it all together. But I CAN RARELY GET OUT OF MY OWN WAY to figure out what to do next. I have a fear of “not doing it perfectly” and can’t quite get around to asking for money from people to help me fulfill my dream.

    2. When I read posts from people, I find myself wanting to correct their spelling and grammar mistakes and send them a message (while this is true, I kinda added it for comic relief — and yes, there are a couple in your post — hope you see the humour in this, lol)

    Cheers, Ken

  70. Angie T says:

    Hi Scott,
    I struggle with being enough.

    At work, every day I wait for them to call me in and say, “I don’t know how you made it this far. We’re going to have to let you go.” Even after I’ve received praise or positive feedback.

    I never played sports growing up and my husband used to tease me about my athletic ability. I’ve officially run 1 marathon and 4-5 half marathons and I still don’t label myself as a runner. And if someone complements me about it, I discount it by saying my time wasn’t that great. Btw, my second half was in San Fran(the Nike Women’s Marathon) and it was by far my favorite! Love the city!

    I struggle with food and body issues too. I’ve worked hard on loving myself as is this year. Funny, I realized when we see pictures of ourselves 10 years ago(when we thought we were fat) and we looked great, that we are never 100% happy with the way we look. The important thing is are we healthy and are we trying to do better every day. If yes, then we’re on the right track.

    Finally, I just want to say thanks. Thanks for inspriring, encouraging, and being authentic so it’s not so scary for the rest of us to do the same.

  71. Robin says:

    Dear Scott, I feel humbled by your honesty… I know it can’t have been easy to do. I also had severe stress when it came to doing presentations, I am getting better but to know you experience it also, is reassuring.

    So I will be brave and tell you something no one knows.
    1. I am terrified of dancing! I know some of you will laugh when you read this but it’s true! I am not sure when it started, at school discos I was a bad dancer but confident at dancing badly and enjoyed myself. I give the impression of being very cool and dancing is not my thing…. in reality my heart is racing and I have to remove myself from the situation. I find it difficult in letting go and just having fun. So there it’s out there!!!

    2. I hold a grudge for far tooo long, I am not proud of this and it will eat away at me but it takes along time for me to forgive. I give the impression I don’t care… but I do!

    3. I am a really bad procrastinator… the next few weeks will decide my life path.. but instead of putting in the hard work, I will watch TV..my behaviour disgusts me and I know I have the ability to succeed but it is as if I want to fail…but I DON’T.

    So it’s out there… my heart is racing as I press submit.

  72. Chris says:

    When I was 7 years old I struggled in school and had a hard time paying attention and my grades suffered because of it. After a bunch of testing, they placed me in a special education class with five or six other kids. I felt unintelligent, different and ashamed. I would always go into class late because I didn’t want the other kids to see me going into “that class”. Still after all these years, I still have sad feelings associated with those times.

  73. paola bobadilla says:

    I am 32 years old and left my nascent international development career to go back to grad school at 26 to go to Public Policy School at U.C. Berkeley. I wanted to learn about CSR but found the policy environment to be unfriendly towards that field of learning and to be honest, I found myself not caring for it much after scratching the surface. However, I feel I lost my way in between meeting my partner at the time and surviving school mode-I ended up settling for a job with The Congress’ think Tank-GAO–for 4 years and then taking a very similar job in DC with a temporary agency that does similar work for Afghanistan. I hate it–I feel as if I am wasting the most productive years of my life–I am looking for new jobs and have applied for some, but nothing is happening. My confession is: I feel as if I made a wrong turn leaving international development at age 26 and I am stuck in this line of work that doesn’t make me the best of who I am. I worry incessantly that the best of my life is behind me and that I am going to linger in mediocrity because of past decisions.

  74. Matthias says:

    Dear Scott,

    thank you so much for this post. I love it!
    Here’s my confession: I still can’t do handstands. I haven’t even tried even though it is one of my goals I had set for this year. :)

    Matthias

  75. Cheryl says:

    I suffer from follow-thru-itis. I am great at brainstorming and starting a business but fail to continue to see it through to success. Not sure if I’m afraid of success or failure or both!

    I’m not very patient either and think this is why I don’t follow through. Things don’t happen fast enough for me. I want results NOW!

  76. Lucia says:

    Thanks for the post, Scott. I was also happy to learn more about you and realize that it takes a huge act of courage to post in this way to the world about things that you have found challenging about yourself or your work.

    I will do two things in return – do likewise and post something that I have found challenging in myself, and also post something positive.

    A huge challenge for me is anger and lashing out at other people for things that are probably not even things that they did, but are situational. At any rate, doing so make me feel temporarily justified, but in the long run makes me feel really rather empty.

    So as an antidote to that, I will strive to be the person who finds a positive way out. I am inspired by Scott’s post in particular, and also by this video. http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html

    I hope that you all will also feel empowered to change your world view to identify that least positive thing in order to move forward.

    Lucia

  77. Scott,
    I would have been nervous and scared to write that as well but it was damn inspiring. We have a lot of similarities menus the linen factor (no disrespect or judgement). You have actually inspired me to do a similar post on my site.
    I beleive in being open and honest even when it is hard. The goal is to help others feel good and want to great things. Nowing that people that are succeeding have faults can bring people that follow you to life.
    Great post! Great inspiration! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing I am sure all your followers like and appreciate you even more.
    Cheers,
    Matthew
    http://www.smartsimplelife.com

  78. Brooke Bell says:

    Thank you, Scott, for exposing your delicate underbelly in today’s post. Your vulnerability inspired me to comment (first timer) and I’m finally going to start that blog- obsession with perfection and over-preparation or no.

    Since you like chickish flicks, and inspiration in funny places, check out St. Elmo’s Fire. There is a poignant scene in which Demi Moore’s character finally, tearfully, confesses her failings in a spectacular breakdown to her friend’s nonplussed reply: “uh, yeah…and?”

    Ah, to be truly known and still accepted by the tribe. Thanks for reminding me that our vulnerability is what makes us truly loveable, relatable, receptive and connective. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Hi, my name is Brooke Bell and I am a terrible speller. And late.

  79. Jenna says:

    Scott This was exactly what I personally needed to hear from you. I’ve been subscribed for awhile now, and was just waiting until my move this weekend before taking your course and getting involved with LYL, then you sent a recent email that made me question your authenticity. Then this post corrected it.

    I can see a pattern even in this short time I’ve read your posts, that you are following a method that works for others, which is fine. But then you take a deep breath and decide to do it your way. That’s exactly what I believe artists do. They get inspired, start to follow a path, then make it their own.

    Good job. I created a new blog based on your prompt. As you’ll see it’s empty, but not for long. Thanks for being Scott and not a clone. You’ll be hearing more from me and getting my full support. Say hi to your mom and dad and congrats to them for a job well done (since you’re 2 yrs older than my son!)
    Jenna

  80. Artemis (Greece) says:

    Scott, thanks for sharing this – I appreciated the tough honesty so much, and was moved to see your wedding video.
    Sometimes I think our old agendas or calendars should be required reading, to remind us of where we were a year, 2 years, 5 years ago!
    Some of my toughest moments: realizing I will be graduating from college and have to find a job, with no idea what it should look like, and going on my first roller-coaster ride at 52(the longest 47 seconds of my life). Survived both!
    As for age, since I’m in my fifth decade, I can only tell you it really does get better! (You panic again at 39, then it passes … after you pass out from anxiety!) Then it’s letting go after that – freedom!
    The best is yet to come!

  81. I love reading these sorts of posts for the wonderful overlaps they reveal that otherwise would never have come out:

    - The Notebook is a wonderful film. I know it’s almost perfectly engineered to be as over-the-top heart-wrenching as possible but I still watch it a few times a year, and it devastates me every time.
    - I could go word for word with you on the Wicked soundtrack.
    - I have an almost identical ‘firearm’ story from my youth too, arrest and all.

    I have my own ’33 things’ post scheduled on my new blog tomorrow, inspired by Corbett’s original, and I’ve just realised I’ve not shared any of those above 3 things. Coming from the North-East of England, where men are men etc I’m not sure how prudent it would be for me to openly admit to weeping at The Notebook!

  82. RY says:

    Beautifully written, achingly familiar, and extremely inspiring! What courage it must have taken to share so much of the real you!

    (I am really glad you can see how being late hurts others. I have a close friend who is always late, always underestimates how long a task will take, has even had to cancel because he became busy with something he started at the last minute. It always feels like he disrepsects me when he does it.)

    As for me, I turned 50 this year. I have no particular talent or skill, no one thing I feel passion for. I’m afraid I’ll never find passion again. I’m finally getting past the childhood scars, but feel it has left me devoid of any other feelings. I am really impatient with bad-mannered people, and yet, when I’m angry, I have terrible manners myself.

    I’m going to look at your tools though. Always looking for answers, maybe this is where I’ll find some!

    Thank you again for sharing!

  83. Anne says:

    Scott, ever since I started following you through your blog, everything I have read was authentic, but this post is probably the most authentic ever. Thanks for being brave once more and doing what you believe in, no matter what others might think or say. You are an inspiration to so many, me included. Now here is what I will share in return: I am terrible at getting up in the morning! Every night I have the best intentions and I promise myself that I will get up in time and not be late for work, but guess what? Every morning I stay in bed after the alarm has rung, trying to not acknowledge the fact that the day has already started, and when I finally get up it is in a rush and I arrive late for work again… If I could change one single habit in my life, this would be the one that I would choose, but it seems to be impossible…

  84. Mea says:

    Wow – AWESOME post. Props to you for putting it all out there. I’m always inspired when I read your posts. Thanks for being you and always rocking :)!

    As for me here goes:
    1)I’m afraid of being past it, when I read your blog and that you turned 31 I’m totally freaking out cos I feel like I’m 34 and have done nothing with my life.

    2)It’s really sad but I know I have to find new people to hang out with. The peaks in my life have been when I’m around people going all out – the energy, the vibe is unbeatable plus everyone is going for their goals with so much intensity that the wave carries you through. Now it seems we’re all just resigned to our fate.

    3)I’ll get off the bus or change walking routes to avoid people I don’t like or am intimidated by or just don’t want to talk to – irrational I know and can totally double journey times :-\.

    4)Thanks for introducing me to strenghtfinders, the alchemist and for featuring Leo Babauta on LYL – all three hv been really helpful in figuring out who I am and what I’m capable of.

    Tk Cr

  85. Joe Barnes says:

    Great bravery to post this Scott. Funny, I’m exactly the same on #1-always trying to cram more in and ending up being late.
    So true about a veneer of bullshit surrounding entrepreneurs and business people. Always wanting to portray a ‘successful’ image but hiding the truth.
    I actually think there’s more strength in your approach – let it all hang out. It’s clear by the comments that people appreciate the honesty.

  86. Charlotte says:

    Wow, this is so refreshing to read coming from “someone like you”- which I now see is the public face. Thank you for being so honest.

    I am a UK business owner, and chairman of a charity.

    My honest facts:

    The late thing! I am always sure I can fit in “one more thing”- it’s not because I don’t value or respect you!

    I need other people’s validation.

    I feel like I let people down every single day.

    I haven’t spoken to my best friends for most of the year just due to time, and am frightened to pick up the phone.

    I feel I could be the person I want to if only…..

  87. Joe says:

    A bold move to be so honest. It really inspired me. I too am terrible at pretty much any sport involving a ball. I could really feel what it took for you to post all of this information so publicly, especially at the end when you say “I’ve no idea how you’ll respond to this.” It has really inspired me to be more open at work which is something I struggle with daily.

  88. Chris Allen says:

    I am a guy but I don’t like watching sports. In fact I don’t really like watching tv at all. I would much rather read or garden. Thanks for sharing your life with us. I agree that we should be who we really are.

  89. Myriam says:

    Hi,

    Well the difference between you and me is that you got your passion, your network and supporting relations.

    I have everything to be happy and just want more as I feel to be leaving at 40 years old the life of my parents in their 70 years.

    Life has been easy for me and no passion never really appealled me. Reading your post is like; lucky him he found is way…. where is mine…

    See you later… and thanks for sharing that the journey is not always easy.

  90. Hello, I need some help on a new book that I am currently writing. I would love to known your opinion on what’s important to you when it comes to your personal success. I prepared one short survey with couple of questions waited to be answered. Because I do not want you to leave empty handed there is a bonus for participating in my survey. You’ll receive the book “A flicker of hope” plus 11 audios so you can listen to it anywhere. It is a COURSE book empowering your motivation that will help you get over the hump. In fact you will do to me a great favor and I will owe you a lot. Here is my survey https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/B6JGJSG looking forward to giving your self-help course.

  91. Adam says:

    Hi Scott,

    That was a great post and thanks for sharing! One thing about me is that I oftentimes feel as if I am a fraud trying to get my business off the ground. However, I then interact with my audience and realize that perhaps I know more than I give myself credit for. This doesn’t last long and it wont be long before I start feeling like a fraud again.

    Regards,
    Adam

  92. Loran Hills says:

    Hi Scott!

    I already have a blog, but I wrote a blog post in response to your fear about getting old, so does that count?

    #30 really inspired me. I hope you check out my answer to you.

  93. Colene E says:

    I have never been to your site before today, and WOW!!! You honestly had me at RENT and WICKED! I have often dreamed of doing a one woman show of RENT where I sing all the song only because I LOVE them all so much! We could honestly be bffs! Thanks for showing such honest in your piece. I loved it!

  94. Kelly says:

    I am deeply afraid that I will not find an intimate, affectionate and supportive life partner. I crave this so much. It’s like being parched and needing water. I did not have a model of healthy, balanced relationships growing up.. my parents are together but mostly out of a feeling of dogged duty and dependence, not joy and they do not communicate their problems until they become so big that they explode. With them, there are a lot of emotional landmines and I generally tiptoe around, trying as best I can to sidestep them. As a result, I have not developed skills at setting boundaries, being assertive and deliberately crafting relationships that serve my needs. I have a keen sense for the onset of emotional turmoil and I do everything I can smooth the waters. And when I can’t do that I’m good at running away from myself and my problems. I “ran away” and lived and worked in Africa alone for 7 years but I quit my job and now I’m back in the U.S. because I stopped growing there and felt I was becoming too distant from family.

    I am a really empathetic listener and I have a good support network of trusted girlfriends. I am strong, I have grit, I have proven that I can go it alone but that’s not my idea of a quality life. I want so badly to share the experiences in my life with a man who complements me but I haven’t had a relationship that has been heading in any meaningful direction for a long time. I don’t feel like I have the skills to successfully navigate this territory. I am 37 and I’ve been thinking since age 29 that maybe this will be the year this part of my life will come together. I’d like to be married one day and have a child of my own. I’m terribly afraid that this won’t happen. And now that I’m back I’m hitting up against the old family tensions again.. they didn’t go away, the distance just made them less apparent. I feel like running again but it occurs to me that maybe this time I need to engage more though it may get really ugly for a while. It also occurs to me that maybe this is how you grow.

  95. It’s interesting that you wrote about this topic this particular week. I was beginning to wonder if my new blog (inspired by LYL back in Aug.) was full of too much ‘fab Miguel’ stories vs. ‘real Miguel’ stories. It’s an interesting idea–you want to share, but how much is too much (i.e. do you really need to know about the girl that dumped by telling me “I don’t want to have two boyfriends”? ;)

    So then…which one to talk about? (There are so many failings to choose from.) How’s this: I sometimes come across as aloof and arrogant because I vacillate between being way too over-confident and way too under-confident. As a musician, this is best expressed in what I think of my playing. At times I think I’m amazing; other times I think I can’t play my way out of a wet paper bag and would be fired by the garage band of 13 year olds down the street.

    As I’ve gotten older, this has been tempered by my knowledge that neither one of those points of view are right–I live somewhere in between those extreme points. There are things I do well, and things I don’t do so well, and these all define my personality. (I covered this a bit in my blog in the “Jazz guilt” post http://blog.joyousracket.com/2013/09/17/coming-to-terms-with-jazz-guilt/)

    So, there you go. Typing this, I realize how hard I can be to live with–imagine living with someone who is at times supremely over-confident? Yipes!

    Gotta go–gotta find my wife and thank her for putting up with this…

  96. Nicki says:

    Just like Miguel, I waver between feeling superior to some people and totally insecure around others, depending on who they are (or who I judge them to be). I don’t have many friends, even though I crave them, I am not often prepared to put the effort in. I have a very happy marriage so lazily rely on that. People make fabulous friendships all around me but I never seem to be included. I have always felt that I don’t fit in since childhood. I think my desperation to be a successful entrepreneur may be just an attempt to fit in with at least this group in society!
    Wow, that was quite therapeutic. Love your stuff Scott, it really is changing the world.

  97. Sharron says:

    Thanks so much for sharing! Even though I’ve been a mindfulness practitioner for over 20 years, I still have days where I check my e-mail, Facebook blog stats way too many times to count, and have days where I lose my temper with my kids more than I care to admit. Here’s to being real :-)

  98. Mike Kawula says:

    Can so relate the the spelling. My wife handles that part of my childrens homework….

    Personal: I’m a builder, but a deflator. I love to build but once my passion is gone…. Having built 2 7 figure businesses over the last 7 years and deflating them, for the first time ever I’m being more hesitant (sp) on my next path I head down. Good, Bad…not sure as only time will tell.

    Great graphics.

  99. Lex says:

    I’m always touched by the power “permission” gives to people. When I’m running a seminar, even giving people “permission” to change the air conditioning can make such a difference. Mind you, I’m in the UK, and we are very polite!
    My favourite permission is to allow people in my life to be just who they are… that’s why your blog resonated with me. My favourite compliment from friends and clients is, “I can be myself with you.” Not much better in life than that! That’s authenticity.

  100. Scott says:

    Thank you Scott that was great! I think you struck a great balance between being honest and vulnerable without reveling too much,(you know, share, don’t scare).
    I share many of those same shortfalls; ballsports, spelling, being on time and if I ever have the opportunity to give a tedtalks I hope I will come across a smooth as you did. I also would likely prepare obsessively and hope I wouldn’t completely blank.
    I find it slightly embarrassing to follow your blog as I am much older than you, (50) and there for have nearly 20 years of life experience on you. That being said, I really enjoy your infectious enthusiasm and you often say things that I have always agreed with (but haven’t always lived) but in my generation was largely unacceptable.
    There are many things I am good at and I would be willing to help you with those that you’re not. As far as your music taste goes, you may be beyond help, but I could send you lists of songs and artists you should know in order to be musically informed :). There is one thing on your list I am something of an expert at. You said your wife helps you with balance and that is a very good thing because you share a life together. In addition to having a great woman in your life I would recommend the sport of slackline. Not the new style, tight “trickline” that kids these days do but oldschool slack-line. I was one of the first slackliners and was the first to walk a slackline up high, (30 years ago now! 1983). Slackline differs from tightrope mostly in the material used to walk. The calming, centering and meditative benefits of focusing on balance in your body and learning to walk a thin nylon line are off the charts. I would love to get you on a line and show you how much this simple exercise can transform your relationship with balance and focus. This can carry into all aspects of your life including stress management.
    So Scott this is an open invitation, I hope you take me up on, for a free slackline (and balance and focus) lesson. I live half way between SF and Portland, if you find yourself making that long drive and need a break or we could even meet up down in the Bay sometime, let me know.

    Scott Balcom
    author of
    “Walk the Line,
    the Art of Balance and the Craft of Slackline”

  101. slv says:

    I’m with you.

  102. Sharon says:

    Hi Scott

    I recently saw your TED talk and was inspired by your energy and enthusiasm. A wise teacher once told me that was is most personal is universal. I can recognise myself in a lot of your admissions:). I would like to add about myself that I am constantly afraid to have dinner parties as I sure the food will be awful. I have started following your wife’s blog so that won’t happen. Will keep you posted.

  103. Sharon says:

    Oops meant “what is most personal is most Universal” other admission cannot type a sentence without leaving out words very embarrassing :)

  104. Shaun says:

    Great post Scott, I think it’s absolutely vital to be genuine. This post is inspiring at a time when I’m trying to work on being more genuine myself.
    I have a very hard time being myself around other people because I’m too concerned with what they think of me. I feel like no one in my life really knows who I am, and I have a difficult time creating the relationships that I want to have. I even have a hard time being honest with myself when I’m alone because I’m afraid of just being me. I find it more comforting to lie to myself and try to act like the person that I want to be, rather than taking the time to try to genuinely become that person. But it’s my number one goal in life right now to be more honest with myself and to be more open with others because I’ve come to the realization that happiness and success are not possible any other way. Luckily, I’m only 21, so I have most of my life ahead of me to get it right

  105. Matthias says:

    Hey Scott,

    thanks for sharing all this!

    You are absolutely right about that being 100% yourself is the only way to connect with people. I think by not doing it, we all pressure each other into trying to be who we don’t want to be and can’t be, and doing things we don’t want to do. It’s almost like an arms race, and equally destructive.

    So while at first, a post like yours that just puts it all out there may make some readers wonder why the hell you did this, it makes perfect sense.

    Be assured, every single person around you, even those who contribute most to your personally perceived pressure from their facades, only cook with water, they all have their problems and demons to deal with, and they all do the same thing when on the toilet.

    I myself am struggling with a lot of things just like you and everybody else, including the never ending worry whether I should have stayed in my engineering cubicle instead of building a business which either will be a super fun success story in an entirely blue market, or a massive failure because I will find out that it’s not a blue market, but instead a market that doesn’t exist. Anxiety much? You bet.

    Ageing is another one, I don’t think anyone is exempt from that. Interestingly, pretty much the only thing you can do about ageing anxiety is to make sure that you make the most out of every day you have, because you literally don’t know if you will see tomorrow, regardless how young and healthy you may be.

    Scary, yes, but it has pushed me to give up that engineering career and follow my dream – even though I’m scared out of my mind while doing it.

    The trick is not to avoid having dragons in your life. The trick is to learn to ride them. It’s a rough ride, but it’s a damn fast mode of transport, and will get you to some amazing places you would never ever have been able to reach any other way.

    To be clear: I’m not a master dragon rider, far from it. On many days, I’m also not nearly as calm and collected as I wish I was.

    But I’m learning a little bit more every day, and I stay on a little longer every time I climb up that scaly side of my wild pet again and hop on.

    I absolutely love what you are doing, Scott, you have no idea how much encouragement and support you are giving me and endless others.

    Don’t listen to the naysayers, don’t get frustrated when you’ve been shaken off by your dragon again, and don’t wait until you’re not scared anymore, because that can take a very long time. Instead, take your heart firmly in your hand, and get on again, scared or not.

    I fully and wholeheartedly agree with John Wayne that courage is not the absence of fear, but rather “being scared to death… and saddling up anyway.”

    Let the heart pound, Scott, keep doing what you are doing, and enjoy the ride.

    Big fat thanks from New Zealand

    Matthias

  106. Debashish says:

    Great, Scott!
    I love this post. It is almost like baring your soul. That does take guts.
    One less known fact about me is that I love reading fantasy fiction (Harry Potter included). In fact, the fatter the books and more of them in the series, the more I love reading them. I even read whole series of books multiple times. I love getting lost in the world of duels, battles, magic, and grandiose.

  107. Annie says:

    I will add my thanks to the hundreds of others. In your case, you are publicly bold, we can still sort of still hide behind some anonymity, but here goes: (I share a few traits with you):
    -I’m late most everywhere and also think I can get more done than is possible in a given time period,
    -I’m constantly putting myself down to myself and others for not living up to my own (unrealistic) expectations,
    -I don’t trust my sexuality, maybe one of the reasons I’m not married, this can be very confusing,
    -I had a daughter with an anonymous sperm donor and nursed her for 6 or 7 yrs. In fact, I still have breast milk and she’s now 8.5. I’m sure most folks would think this is crazy and twisted,
    -I am frequently living in overwhelm and with a sense of urgency, probably terrible for my health,
    -I too know TONS about eating healthfully, do cleanses often, but continually binge on sugar-this can get me really down,
    - I’m not doing some of the things I committed to do, like approaching donors for a volunteer board I sit on, why the extreme resistance?? Geez, I do fundraising for a living! What is up with that?
    - I pretty much know I’m not this body/mind, but I’m still freaked out by the idea of not existing after death.
    Phew. That’s it for now.
    Love to you and Chelsea and call me when you decide to have kids so I can share the amazing experience of home birthing with you both.
    Annie, In the CWA course right now and not through module four yet!

  108. Guus says:

    I have the feeling your story is too much written from being successful already. Next week I don’t know where to get the money to even buy food. So I think my secrets and issues are much different from yours.

    And no, don’t get me wrong. I believe your statements are honest. But to me they feel like bullshit from someone who is already successful.

  109. Scott, Come on!
    It’s not with writing post like this that the number of received email in your inbox is gonna decrease!
    Try writing something stupid once in a while, kay? ;-)

    I can relate to the anxiety you feel and the hours spent on gmail.

    Lately, the best week I had was late august.
    I was meditating twice a day.
    I was doing much much much much less computer work.
    And I read “The Tao of Pooh”. I don’t know if you’ve read it but I loved it. It has a way to talk about happiness that I am sure the 13 year old teenage girl inside of you would love.

    What you do rocks man. Chill out :-)
    If you want I can hold you accountable to check how many hours you chill in a day? ;-)

    All the best

  110. Rebecca says:

    Scott, thank you so much for being so open and honest. I know it wasn’t easy, but I totally agree that being completely and openly yourself is one of the best (and hardest!) things you can do.

    I want to let you know that your honesty here has only makes me respect you more. Your posts and insights have inspired me to start my own blog (something I’ve been putting off for far too long) and take some hard looks at my own life and the work that I do. Thank you for that.

    Something vulnerable from me…I have more flaws than I can count, but one of the largest things I struggle with is being unable to let go of the past. I still get angry with myself for things I did years and years ago. I’m working at not doing that, but it’s a hard thing to change!

    Thanks again for your honesty and all your hard work!

  111. Vicki says:

    Great post!I’d have commented sooner but I’ve been busy re-examining my own fears. Thanks to you, I pinpointed one I knew was there but couldn’t quite put it into words.

    What I discovered was a fear of success but with a twist I didn’t expect. I’ve had many jobs over the years and I always start out enthusiastic, loving what I do. But within 2 years I’m miserable.

    That’s why I decided to start my own business. I’ve come to believe that the reason I kept losing my passion was because I was always meant to be on my own. And that’s where the fear of success comes in. What if, once I’m successful, I lose my passion again? Where could I possibly go from there? The thought of that terrifies me because I can’t imagine any job that would motivate me to get out of bed at that point.

    I’m trying to get around that by telling myself that if that happens I’ll just start a new business and I’ll deal with that if or when it happens.

    What’s totally awesome about this discovery is that acknowledging and confronting this fear has opened the writing flood gates! I took on your blog challenges and had been struggling until I read this post. Now I can’t type fast enough!

    Thanks for the inspiration and for being you. You ROCK!

  112. Hey Scott,

    I do a few of the things in your list too, but there’s really nothing wrong with them. Sometimes, we assumed that we may get ashamed when we share our secrets, it turns out that people are ok with it. We over-assumed sometimes!

    Your list which I can relate to:
    #2: I love “chick flicks”
    I never thought of them as “chick flicks”. lol. I just love watching romance films, especially romantic comedy more than action films. Who defines what chicks watch and what dudes watch anyway? haha…

    #3: I’m terrible at pretty much every sport involving a ball
    For me, it’s every sport. haha… with or without a ball.

    # 7: I am a terrible speller. Like awful.
    Thank god for spell check!

    #9: I can’t stand seeing people waste their potential.
    It’s great. That’s why you are doing what you are doing.

    #10: I can be really stubborn.
    I used to be a stubborn bull too!

    #22: I can sing every word to the musicals RENT and Wicked.
    I can’t but I love “Wicked”! Especially love the song “defying gravity” and “popular”. Have not seen “Rent” yet though.

    #31: I’m kinda terrified of public speaking – at least the building up to it. And a lot of things make me nervous.
    I’ve never done public speaking before. This is the one thing that I want to challenge myself the most.

    #35: I don’t know what I’m doing a lot of the time.
    Don’t we all? We are born to love and learn. Life would be boring if we know everything.

    And I would like to add failing is good! When you fail more, you learn more and you grow more!

    Everyone starts at a small place. That makes growing beautiful. You are doing something great and meaningful here. Be an inspiration to your readers and clients. If you looks small in front of your inspiring friends, then what makes people who just start out like me look like? haha… Don’t we look even smaller?

    So see your friends as inspirations and be an inspiration to others at the same time!

    Take care,
    Yong Kang (aka Nerdy Creator)

  113. Vincentas says:

    Are you kidding?All these things are human-like.They’re probably not nearly as bad as you make them out to be.And I can see that you are quite a unique guy,compared to others.That’s great,really,a good example.Charming.I share the “I’m extreme with things and sometimes get hurt” disability or whatever you wanna call it.Only one question:why did you do that running with bulls?I mean,they’re real bulls,right?You could have been killed!
    I mean,taking risks is important and vital sometimes,but the adrenaline rush of running from a real bull at the risk of being killed is just not worth it.Why did you do it?

  114. Andrew Brady says:

    Great post, Scott. Many of these I could probably just copy and paste onto my own list. I’m also always late and for the same reason that I’m trying to cram 30 hours worth of stuff into a 24 hour day. Interestingly, I’ve also had the internal dialogue trying to justify my tardiness by saying I’m “optimistic about how much I can get done.” I also have a fear of getting old and never getting out of my parents shadow. But above all, I am totally with you on being extreme. All or nothing in everything I do. And it’s also been a concern of family, friends and girlfriends. Thanks for sharing!

  115. Josh says:

    This could be one of the most entertaining posts I have read in a while! I too used to have the tastes of a 13-year-old in music but to paraphrase “that too did pass”. I love musicals and was even in a couple, including West Side Story, I was Pepe :) and even though I’m Brasilian, soccer and any other ball sport is pretty much a no go. I’m playing volleyball too and I might have some hope :P And I’m not making this stuff up..we just have them in common. But great post and loved reading the honest, embarassing truth.

  116. Julie says:

    THANK YOU! I LOVED this post – it was PERFECT timing, SO encouraging and yes, may’ve just made me tear up sloightly…..but that’s all speculative :) I freaking LOVE that you LOVE musicals! ME TOO! In fact, a related fact about me regarding musicals…I love acting, have done local theatre work and every stinking time I’m about to go on stage for my first appearance, I feel like I’m either going to throw up or…… worse…..*blush*
    One more fact – I am so scared of creating a crap blog that every darn time I’ve sat down just to get thoughts on paper, I generally end up baking, doing laundry or cleaning up after my two little people *facepalm*
    So again, THANK YOU for your honesty….I am now going to go focus, write….and eat a biccy or two that I may, or may not have, just baked :D
    Julie :)

  117. Christine says:

    Hi Scott,

    you hit the nail on the head! Every mentor I’ve ever had has been excruciatingly honest with me about their worst moments! I stopped reading all the comments because there are just SO many…but the main thing is everyone is thankful! And I am too.

    I’ve recently taken my life coaching business full time and was told left and right I made a terrible choice (by elders). Let’s face it, who would listen to a young 28 year old? The truth is a lot of people do, just like they listen to you at age 32. And even though you aren’t perfect (and neither am I), that authenticity and courage is really what people are drawn to.

    Bravo, Scott! I look forward to seeing you succeed further!

    Christine

  118. Chris says:

    Funny thing Scott. My blog is called Read and Get Rich, and even though it may be difficult in the beginning when it comes to traffic, I know that if I’m authentic and persistent and if through my blog I’ll help people, it really doesnt matter the name.

    It’s the person behind it that matters.

    It got me thinking a bit, but I will not give up!!!

  119. Preeti says:

    Hey Scott…

    You are the most authentic teacher I have.
    I LOVE LOVE LOVE what you write..its very real vs. preachy.

    You make my day whenever you write.
    In my VISION BOARD, I have your pic that I will meet you someday.
    I love men who are sensitive and caring.

    My weaknesses!
    I want my house to be neat and organized all the time – all things should have a place. Its a very unrealistic goal and a dirty/messy house upsets me.

    I love containers – esp. beautifully crafted. I will think of a reason to buy it :-)

    I dislike cookie cutter things… I find common gifts/designs/products boring. I’m always looking for something unique/different.

    I find BEAUTY IN ODDITY…

  120. Phil says:

    Here’s my honest response – I think Scott filtered his list and only chose mostly superficial and harmless stuff. I don’t blame him but I didn’t see anything on the list I wouldn’t freely share myself!

    I’ll bet he’s done much more embarrassing stuff! E.g. at a lower point in my life I once beat myself black and blue with an iron bar to get the attention of my girlfriend (of the time). I do have internet anonymity to help me though!

    I see you’ve read “radical honesty” – great book!

  121. Sebastian says:

    Did you ever practice anything more than jiu jitzu? 6 years? I bet you’re very good.

    I like this sort of posts. It brings out the human aspect of us. I hope to get as big as you so I can make one of these myself.

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  123. Kim says:

    I was surprised at how many of those things are things that I also struggle with (not the handstand part– the stress and time management and not knowing what I’m doing and feeling rushed and… parts). Seriously, I was starting to wonder if I have ADD. Its good to know that I may actually be okay– I just have a few “issues” to work on. :)

  124. Thanks again, Scott, for another potentially life-changing email!

    Something I’d rather absolutely nobody knows about me:
    I gave up on life at the age of 12. I made a declaration to my concept of God at the time that I would not kill myself, but that he’d damn well better show me why I didn’t.

    The good news is that He took me up on it and my eyes are finally opening. The “other” news is that it’s taken a full 38 more years. I don’t say bad news because 1) I’m so grateful for having lasted to reach 50, even if most of it was under a teflon facade of bullsh*t; and 2) I’ve been given a wonderful (and wonderfully terrifying) opportunity to start over and am surrounded by people like Scott to motivate and inspire me.

    My dream is to create some form of expression to support everyone over (insert the age when you think it’s too late) in realizing that it truly is never too late!

    Thanks again, Scott!

  125. Felix says:

    I sometimes think that I am better than some people around me, and the average human. I think it has something to do with me being very productive and always having something going on, writing, braiding, exercising etcetera. It may also be because of the fact that I have much of my life goals all set out in front of me.

    I try to always raise other people, when I raise myself, but it is not always possible.

    Anyway, thank you Scott for sharing this. It has given me something to think about and maybe I’ll do the same kind of sharing on my own blog.

  126. Felix says:

    I sometimes think that I am better than some people around me, and the average human. I think it has something to do with me being very productive and always having something going on, writing, braiding, exercising etcetera. It may also be because of the fact that I have much of my life goals all set out in front of me.

    I try to always raise other people, when I raise myself, but it is not always possible.

    Anyway, thank you Scott for sharing this. It has given me something to think about and maybe I’ll do the same kind of sharing on my own blog.

    - Felix

  127. Lexy Deming says:

    Hey Scott,
    I really appreciate you putting all of that out there. I have quite a few things in common with you. I’m very extreme with life and I struggle with it on a daily basis. For class, I either do all the work, read the whole chapter and study ahead of time or I do the bare bones minimum. Same with my diet, I eat a plant-based diet but then I go on these sugar spells like crazy. Seeing someone else have a similar characteristic and achieve a high level of success is inspirational. I just printed off all of the resources that we receive when signing up to be part of Live your Legend yesterday and I “plan” on getting to them this weekend, but I know I will after reading this. This post was a great reminder to live as your own person and accept who you are, even utilize your uniqueness to create the life you want.

    Thanks <3 I look forward to reading more of your posts!
    -Lexy

  128. Manishankar says:

    Hey Scott,
    I read your blog and its amazing. I have 2 most dreadful fears of my life:
    1. I will not get the love of my life. All my friends have girlfriends and I feel what is so wrong with me that I can’t get a life partner.BTW I am still single and 26 yrs old.
    2. My life will get wasted in my current job because I feel I am not made for this Information technology industry. First I did my graduation in Computer Science and now instead of doing some technical innovation in that field I am making websites.

  129. Alex Turner says:

    It’s all good. Can’t be bothered reading all the comments. Got lots of other stuff I’d rather do and I’ll only start judging and making comparisons. Kudos to all who have opened up though.

    It is though a worthwhile exercise to stretch the authenticity muscles. Here’s my warm up for the day:

    I was fairly certain I was a crazy throughout my childhood and adolescence. So much so I trained to be a mental health nurse in the hope that I’d learn how to stave off the inevitable! Nothing altruistic about that “vocational” calling.

    Here’s another. I’ve long been a champion of the underdog. Some years ago I realised this was to keep me from being at the bottom of the heap myself! The trait originated from a time when I was bullied and became an outsider at a new school I joined.

    Both decisions I made as a child / young person to fix something that was wrong. Still influencing my actions today when I’m in default mode. Happily the off switch to my autopilot is now within comfortable reach.

    Cheers to all. Keep on keepin’ on!

  130. Renee says:

    Thanks, Scott, for opening up and providing a space for others to do the same.

    Since graduating from college (over 10 years ago), I have had 15 jobs, 2 of which I was fired from. Needless to say, I am seriously lacking in career direction and focus and I fear that I will not find the right path for me.

  131. christy says:

    Telling someone your fears isn’t easy..and I have two small ones that I waant to tell my bf but I’m not sure if he will think I’m strange or psycho… –_–

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    Honestly reading this article about how we should reveil and be vulnerable and seeing how tame and virtuous and wholesome you come off it made me less inclined to reavela my true self. If what you are revealing shocks people I better just keep it all in the closet!

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  153. John K says:

    I’m seriously afraid of being hurt again. In elementary school, during a game of ‘spin the bottle’, the girls didn’t want to kiss me. I thought it was supposed to be a sure thing. For most of my adult life, I refused to put effort into anything, even that which I was great at, in fear of being rejected. I only recently began to move past this perspective.

  154. Melissa says:

    Hi Scott,
    I recently came across your TedX speech which led me to your website…and here I am! I have enjoyed reading through your blog…mostly because I feel I share the same beliefs as you with regards to finding a career you are passionate about, and I am on my way to (hopefully!) helping to inspire others to find a career they love and to reach their full potential. A little bit about me…I married my high school sweetheart of 7 years only to separate less than a yr later because it wasn’t the life I wanted for myself. at the time I felt so ashamed of myself and worried about what others would think, but now I don’t care. I wouldn’t change anything if I had the chance. I’ve learned so many lessons and insight to myself; I am currently on my way to becoming an Associate Certified Coach, and in the very beginning stages of starting my own business. I believe that everything happens for a reason and each of us would not be where we are today if we did not take the path we did. I look forward to following your blog and hope to learn some tips and tricks of entrepreneurialism! Maybe someday I’ll even get on that TedX stage ;)

  155. Robin Petty says:

    You inspired me to start my Be Exceptional Personal and Professional Coaching business, a year ago. I had a near death experience 32 years ago… and “went to the light”…I learned to turn my fears over to Him. I also learned, that when all is said and done, we are measured by what we give. Know that you have contributed great things to the world Scott. Choose not to live in fear and let no one take joy away from you. I so appreciate your disclosure….I just did a training on Being Authentic. You have touched my world.

  156. Two years ago, my life got really messy. Yet it was during this time that people first started calling me their life coach. I thought, “No, no, no. You’ve got it backwards. I’m relying on you, showing you my worst. I have nothing to offer right now.” But I kept hearing “life coach” again and again. That’s when I figured out that when people like me (who seem to have it all together, all the time) are open and honest when things are a big fat mess, it is even more inspiring than the successful times. Well, the coaching seed was planted, I signed up for training, launched my own practice, and now I really am a coach. And I never would have had this new path open up to me if I hadn’t opened up first.

  157. Esther says:

    Ok. Here goes…something I’m not proud of is that I’m very self-conscious when interacting with people i.e. how am i coming across, what do they think of me.
    I’d love to be more present and authentic but I guess I’m too preoccupied with wanting to be liked and that is very embarrassing and saddening on a daily basis.

  158. Brandon says:

    Wow!! Absolutely fantastic post Scott. To put yourself out there like that in such a vulnerable way is amazing. The fact that our dinner conversation spurred such a deep post is truly humbling. I can’t thank you enough for all that you do. you truly inspire me and thousands of others to be better people.

    Something that you may already know, but others here at LYL don’t know about me is that since I was a little boy I have had a little voice in my head telling me I’m not smart enough. Telling me I’m not good enough for praise and that I will probably fail at whatever endeavor I set out to do. This was how my mind worked for 20 years, but I am now battling that voice and turning the I can’t into I can. The work that you do here at LYL is helping me in ways I couldn’t have even imagined a year ago.

  159. David says:

    Thanks for sharing this Scott. I have come to realize that it is important to acknowledge, come to grips and come to accept our failures just as much as our successes, because it is often our greatest failures that lead us to our greatest successes.

  160. Anne says:

    I am 66 and a fairly recent retiree — as well as a wife/mother/grandparent. i came to your blog in the course of googling for tools to use to help me NOT loose hours and hours every day doing unimportant stuff.
    It helps me to read a list showing that even a supper productive wunderkind like yourself struggles with, just for example, email, feeling small and over preparing.
    Thank you for your honesty. It is as inspiring — for me more so — than many success stories might be.

  161. Eddy says:

    Hi Scott, Thank you so much for bearing it all like this. I truly applaud your strength and courage! You are an inspiration to us all. Many of the things that you do, I do as well. And it is great to hear that I am not the only one. I am brand spanking new to LYL and Scott D but am LOVING it!

  162. Tracey says:

    Scott – thank you. I read this blog while@work and then re-read it @home. It was exactly what I needed to read/hear @that moment in time.
    I loved your incredible honesty; as a lot of what you mentioned as your fears, facts, actually relate to a lot of mine. It was refreshing and beautifully confronting together.
    I am @ what feels like a stand-point in my business direction. And reading those similar fears & facts to me, made me feel that how I’m feeling right now, is actually how you (a person who I admire for what you’ve achieved/are achieving) are too. It made my (not so huge, now) obstacle/mountain seem ok but also immensely smaller & manageable.
    I am actually going to do the same on my blog on WordPress.
    Cheers Scott.

  163. Miguel says:

    Thanks for sharing your vulnarable side to us Scott, you’ve truly inspired a lot of people, including me, to live our legend. Something about me is that I meditate and do yoga daily for hours at time and it can be one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself and for others. I was deeply touched with your wedding video, and I hope when I marry, I marry my best friend in the world ( and hopefully she’s a yoga teacher too). You guys look awesome together and I wish you all the best.

    Miguel

  164. Sophia says:

    1.) Terrified of rejection
    2.) Terrified of geting old
    3.) Horrible at concentration (ADHD) and absolutely needing the extreme
    4.) No idea of what shall become of my life – and thinking about it since I was about 11 – I am 22 now.
    5.) Only very slowly learning to make sure that the things I want do happen – theoretically that is. Practically I am still at about 0.
    6.) I am undeservedly pretty but I can´t snap out of the ideas that my mother put into my mind as how I am not enough no matter what.
    7.) I cannot focus. I feel like some things some times GET ME FOCUSED but it is a passive thing, I cannot do this myself except the topic be “understanding the human soul”. Not that my theoretical thoughts would get me anywhere in the real world.
    8.) I tend to think of doing things INSTEAD of doing them.
    9.) I love to make guys want me and then leave them. Sorry, but this here was to be about embarassing stories, not nice ones…
    And I could go on…

  165. Cecily says:

    This post was amazing. Thanks for being so vulnerable. Vulnerability makes friends :)

  166. Faisal Ahmad says:

    You like feeding ducks Scott? I enjoy ironing. Seriously. The thought of getting rid of all those irritating crumples. Oh, sublime.

    I feel ya too. Godbless you Scott!

  167. Tina says:

    It felt really nice reading about you and seeing that you are indeed a person with your own struggles. Left me feeling warm inside and that I got to know you a little. I struggle with a lot of the things you seem to struggle too and beat myself up about it, slowly looking for ways to stop doing so. The stress is a killer, definitely has to be sorted. Else you might have to go back to your archives one day and start all over again :p Thank you for offering us this opportunity to get out of vicious loops and restore our confidence in our ability to decide for our own lives.

  168. Andi says:

    This is seriously so great – just what I needed to read.

    “Be honestly and unapologetically you. Because you being uniquely you will allow the people you interact with to feel comfortable being uniquely them – perhaps for the first time in their lives. There is no more authentic way to connect and no greater gift to give.”

    – Scott Dinsmore

    Going to live by this for the next few months. This is a wake up call! I’ll share the things I wish nobody would know about me.

    I think I look 10 times better with makeup on and I’m afraid of taking it off in public because of what people will think.
    I love Avril Lavigne, always have and always will even though I’m 24.
    I end all my relationships at 8 months because I’m too scared to let them in any further.
    I’m quite messy.
    I make a great first impression but have this fear that I can’t sustain it so I usually stop relationships from progressing.
    I enjoy small talk more a little too much and I worry that I’m fake.
    I’m a starter not a finisher.
    I often get jealous of others, even my best friends.

    Oh wow. I’m learning a lot about myself just by writing this out, maybe because I’ve never done it before. Scott you are right this is scary but I’m hoping I can make some changes after I post this.

  169. Robin says:

    Thank you for sharing this with us John. I am sure they all want to kiss you now! Those girls lost out :-)

  170. Marc Vega says:

    Scott! Laughing so hard right now!! You had me at chick flicks. :D LiveYourLegned gives me my daily drive to be the “ME” I always wanted to be. It’s the greatest place to find valuable resources, and insight into our precious lives. Can’t get enough!

    I am ashamed of a relationship I left in hopes that the grass was greener on the other side. I’m absolutely positive that she is the greatest person in the world with the most genuine heart. I lived, worked, and enjoyed life with her each and everyday. She was my ultimate soulmate. Had I heard of LYL sooner. She’s now engaged, and soon to be married. I know I will have the same, but we live with our choices. Thank you for sharing. God Bless!

  171. Amber says:

    Esther – I feel this way as well. As you are I am working on just being me without worrying about what others think. I also feel inadequate in my career field to the point where I am starting to have a reoccurring dream about it.

  172. Andi says:

    I can relate to a lot of these :)

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