Category Archives: Influence & Negotiating

Does What You’re Doing Actually Matter? (+ free workbook)

By Scott | May 16, 2011 | Follow me on Twitter

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Do what matters

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”

~Hardy D. Jackson

Think of how you spent your day today. What did you do for the majority of it?

How about the week?

Seriously think about it. Now answer one simple question…

Does any of it matter?

Are you spending your time in a way that matters? Both to you and others?

Do you care about your work? Is it based on a cause you stand behind? Is the world better as a result? Are you better as a result?

Do you even know why you’re doing what you’re doing?

Sadly over 80% of people aren’t happy with their work and even more don’t have a clue as to why their doing it. Is that any way to spend the majority of your time on earth?

Everything Starts with Why

When I was on the Summit Series boat a few weeks ago I met Simon Sinek author of the kick-ass book Start with Why. I had recently seen his epic TED Talk: How Great Leaders Inspire Action (actually watched it for the third time yesterday) where he first planted the importance of why in my brain. Thoughts have been running wild ever since. (I give Simon full credit for this post. Thanks for waking me up my man!)

Most people know what they’re doing and some even know how they’re doing it but very few know why.

The problem is that the Why is the only part that inspires people. It’s your purpose, your belief, your (or your company’s) reason for being. Whether you want to end world suffering or just trim your waistline by getting yourself to stick to one spoonful of peanut butter instead of five, without a why you are nowhere.

Unfortunately since those with a why happen to be the exception, most the world is lost. They’re sleepwalking.

People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it

How often do you ask people what they do? How often do you tell others what you do? It’s something society has drilled into us (and it drives me crazy). We’re missing the why without even knowing it.

I have news. No one cares what you’re doing. No one even cares how you do it. I don’t care how mind blowing it is.

They only care why you’re doing it. Once you connect with your why, you give them a belief they can adopt – but not until that emotional connection is created. Then the ‘what’ and the ‘how’ become wonderful ways to justify the why. People buy on emotion and justify by logic. They buy on why.

Side note: For the purpose of this article ‘buy’ can mean any type of influence and is not limited to purchasing a product – be it adopting your view, joining your cause or even voting for you. It’s about getting someone on your side.

Facts, figures and stats don’t sell.

They don’t inspire. Especially since any competitor in most any space surely has similar numbers to tout. They’re table stakes. What does sell is your vision of how you can affect the world. That is the only place passion can be found. Passion isn’t buried in some mind-numbing competitive analysis. It’s in the vision, the belief, the why.

Take two of the more powerful brands: Apple and Patagonia

  • Apple makes tech gadgets. There are countless companies doing the same thing, but we buy from Apple because Apple believes in challenging the status quo, in being different and making life fun.
  • Patagonia makes outdoor clothing. So do 50 other companies. But I buy from them because Patagonia believes in igniting the human spirit, in saving the environment and seeking adventure.

I am proud to be behind these causes. I want to be behind them. I get others behind them. And as a result I probably pay a 30-40% premium to do so. And I love it.

People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.

My Why here is simple

I have a fundamental belief that if I can get those around me doing work they love, we can literally change the world. We can end the majority of bad moods, misconduct and frustration, and if enough people get on board, we can cause a revolution. I believe deep in my soul that if everyone lived and worked their passion and woke up excited, the world would be a fundamentally different place.

That is what keeps me up late at night and waking before my alarm.

Embody your reason for being

My belief has become so fundamental to me that I’ve realized I need a business and brand that fully embodies it. One that screams daily adventure, constant experimentation and learning about yourself to find your purpose and live it. I have been working on this new brand for months now (thanks to a lot of your help and feedback) and it’s finally almost ready. I hope to launch it in just a few weeks.

Don’t worry, the content and focus of my work and writing won’t change-it’s just time to have a business, name and brand that firmly back my why.

For me this will mark the new beginning of my quest to help the world understand their passions and use them to do work they love. It’s one that never ends and I intend to be on it for the full ride.

We are not meant to do things the way they’ve always been done. We are meant to find and follow our own paths. This leads to greatness.

Our days are meant to be enjoyed. The only unsuccessful day is one spent unhappy. We deserve to spend our time on things that actually matter to us. I assure you that if we accomplish this, they will matter a hell of a lot more to the world than whatever we were working on before.

You are all here because you share my belief and wanted to be a part of the tribe. I’m grateful you’ve joined the action. As of last week we hit over 4,000 of us on the same mission! New believers join everyday. If you know someone who should be a part of the tribe but isn’t, please send them a link to this article. If you haven’t joined yet, I hope you will.

Sorry for the tangent, but I’ve been dying fill you in on the latest!

A Why is the only reason meaningful things get done

If you don’t have a why for what you’re doing, then sit down and find one. The below free workbook will help.

If you can’t find one then drop what you’re doing and do something you give a sh*t about.

Because without a why, not only will you not inspire anyone else, but more importantly, you will never inspire yourself. You are the first person you must get on board. Nothing important ever gets done without a powerful enough reason. Running a marathon or leading a revolution – it all starts with why.

Understand your Why

What is your belief of how the world should be? What is your reason for being? It doesn’t have to be some grand earth-shattering belief. It just has to matter to you. If you care enough, trust me, others will care too.

Most of us who aren’t already living it, have an idea of what it is (or at least what it’s not), you just may have been suppressing it to be more ‘realistic’ (btw, realistic never got anyone anywhere).

If you don’t know then I’m almost sure you have people close to you who have suggested something: “Oh you would make a great coach or speaker or writer or teacher”.

Listen to them and listen to yourself. Then start investigating. That’s the stuff that matters. Not what some job role or area of study says you should be. What do they know about you anyway? Not much. Few people do. That’s why you owe it to yourself to start searching.

Live with passion

When I approached Simon on the boat, I thanked him for his work and told him about our growing crusade here with my writing and coaching. He looked at me with the deepest conviction and congruency, right into my soul, pointed his finger so it was about 2 inches from my chest and said “Listen. The work you’re doing matters. What you and I are doing is changing the world. It literally has the chance to create world peace in a way even the United Nations couldn’t dream of.” He then gave me a small coin, something he called a ‘token of inspiration’, thanked me and we went our separate ways.

He embodied his why so much that it left me shaking with energy. He had given me an even greater responsibility to spread my cause, my belief, my why.

There are big things ahead guys. For you, for me, for all of us. But they’re only going to happen if we sack up and do something about it.

I’ll go first as long as you promise to follow suit.

I can’t wait to show you the refocused vision for ReadingForYourSuccess. I have a feeling you’re going to like it!

So…Does what you’re doing really matter?

Tell us your Why in the comments. Go on, make us believers!

Need help finding your Why? – Free Workbook!

I created a free subscriber-only workbook with three pages of my most thought-provoking questions and actions to help you find your Why.

This workbook is free for people who subscribe for email updates from Live Your Legend. To get the workbook, just enter your email address on the linked page (don’t worry if you’re already a subscriber you won’t be double-subscribed, you’ll just get access to the workbook).

Image courtesy of ?serendipity

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Tell Your Kick-Ass Story and Influence the World

By Scott | October 27, 2010 | Follow me on Twitter

The Best Story Wins

“Is what you wrote today worth reading about tomorrow?”

-Danny Patterson

Written by: Scott Dinsmore

Average Read Time: 5.2 Minutes

No one buys anything without a good story. Your product won’t sell, you won’t get a date and you’ll be no different than the 100 other people who apply for that dream job–unless you have a story that kicks ass.

So what’s your story? What put you where you are? Made you you? Why would anyone want to hear it?

We all have a kick-ass story that sells right now. You just have to find it and tell it. (read mine at the end of this post)

Right now is the best time to write your story and start getting people to listen.

Your story tells people to pay attention to what you say or read what you write. It’s why they should trust you over the millions of other people saying similar things. The story is crucial. Let’s build it.

Take 15 minutes or even an hour or more to think through the following. I bet you have more to tell than you think.

6 Core steps to building a story that sells:

1. Think about what you’d want to hear. Know what is worth telling and keep to the very best juice you have. We all have boring parts. Would you want to hear those from others? Then leave them out. Think of the things in your life that are unique, that would hook your audience. Maybe an award, quitting a sweet job to pursue a passion, moving out of the country, living off 100 things or less like Everett Bogue or seeking out wild adventures like Tyler Tervooren. Your everyday activities may grab others more than you’d think.

2. What were your best and worst moments? These are the events that form us. They are also the things people want to hear. When were you most proud? You got a job, won a race, picked up on your dream date, sold a company. And even more important, what about the low points? You were rejected, fired or had a business that failed. Every one of these shapes us.

The seemingly awful events at the time can be the most important. There was this dream Product Marketing job I wanted out of university. I busted my ass in all the interviews. I had nailed it. Then I got the rejection call. I was crushed…until I realized I would have never ended up starting a business in Spain the following year if I got the job I thought I wanted. A few experiences like this make rejection a lot less scary. Use them to inspire others.

3. Ask people close to you. They’ll see things you won’t. Ask them to be brutally honest about what they think is most intriguing about your story and your background. Our mind is too biased to think clearly about ourselves. We need the help of those who know us better than anyone. This means your significant other, best friend, boss and family at the least. Be sure they’re honest and not just blowing smoke–that’s why you stick to those really close to you.

4. Take notes. I carry a journal around with me everywhere (My favorite is a Moleskine). A lot of what’s inside are the above ideas. The big events in my life, good and bad, that have shaped me. I spend a few minutes each week keeping track of the prior week’s accomplishments that I’m most proud of, as well as the things that didn’t work out. I review this each year. Your story unfolds every day and you want to capture it all. Keep your experiences in one place. The story will start to become obvious.

5. Start telling it. Don’t miss a chance to share and hone your story. Test different versions out daily if you can–whenever you meet someone new or are asked for a background piece or bio. If you have a website or blog, now’s the time to modify it. Take your 5-10 biggest standouts from the above and stick to those. You’ll have a slightly different version depending on your audience (personal, intimate, professional) and any recent experiences, but the core stays the same.

6. Be Honest. You don’t have to tell it all but be sure what you do tell is true. People will see straight through anything short of genuine. Enough said.

Do things because they make you come alive, not just to build a story.

We often make decisions for their story. “I’ll take this job I hate because it’ll be good on my resume for the job I really want later on.” This thinking is terribly flawed.

Everything we do adds to the tale, but that does not mean we spend our lives building our resumes only to hopefully do what we want later on (especially since later usually doesn’t come).

Do them because they light your hair on fire. Because they excite you and better open up who you are. These are the best additions.

With all this story talk, here’s a taste of mine.

After university, I was rejected from my dream job, so I traveled to Spain to run with the bulls. My 7-week trip turned into a year, where I co-founded an English teaching company for businessmen, and lead tours through Morocco and Portugal on the weekends. Spaniards prioritized enjoyment over money and I realized life did not have to be lived the way it was in the states. I sold the business only to move back and fall into corporate hell, which I couldn’t stand a day over 7 months. I fired myself in search of something I could actually screw up. I stumbled on a preventive health care startup, with a product I actually cared about, and spent two years running their Market Validation team and learning what made a business tick.

Now I wanted something of my own that better leveraged my time, gave me balance, helped others and lit a fire in my belly. So I launched a value investment fund (an area I’d studied for years) in the heart of the 2008/2009 crash. Good thing my fire was lit, because it was a terrifying start, but looking back the timing couldn’t have been better. Working for someone else in the space never crossed my mind because the lack of balance, ethics and wide-spread greed disgusted me (they probably wouldn’t have hired me anyway). I now own my calendar and balance is mine. I couldn’t ask for more two years later.

Meanwhile my desire to learn and help people on a more personal level kept me up at night. I began teaching speed reading and writing and coaching on helping people find their freedom. I’ve since written for some of the biggest blogs and websites out there. My success is measured on whether I can help even one person. So far so good.

I also constantly test physical and mental limits to expand my reality of what’s possible-for myself and my readers. This year has included trying out a vegan diet for a month (I’ve since stuck to 95% of it), running an ultra marathon in barefoot shoes, summiting Mt. Shasta, swimming from Alcatraz and across the San Francisco Bay and gaining 10 lbs of muscle in 90 days with no supplements or meat. Along the journey I bought an engagement ring from Warren Buffett (he owns a sweet jewelry store in Omaha) and married my girlfriend of seven years. This is my greatest success to date.

Now I know the meaning of two valuable concepts: Happiness and Location Independence.

The full version can be found here (halfway down the page).

Own your story. Influence the world.

Once you know your story, the world will feel it. In your voice, in your posture and in your words. You’ll speak with unmatched energy. And this is the biggest influencer of all. A cool site I recently found, Spread Your Influence, has a few more awesome ideas.

When a story is yours and only yours, people will notice and they will listen. Relentless passion is the best competitive advantage known to man. That’s difficult to have without a story you own in your soul.

You have lived the experiences worthy of a book. We all have. It just comes down to choosing the right chapters.

Find your story. Tell it, live it and spread it. The world could use the entertainment.

What’s your story? Tell us in the comments section. This would be an awesome way to get us all fired up. Every story starts with a sentence. Leave one below.

Other Resources to Help You Along the Way:

Be Your Own Most Valuable Brand and Sell Yourself to Anyone: 13 Steps

Discovering Happiness through Purpose in 3 Natural Steps

Photo courtesy of jurveston

26 awesome comments

Overcoming Phone Phobia

By Scott | June 17, 2010 | Follow me on Twitter

Overcoming Phone Phobia: Making More Contact

Written by: Scott Dinsmore

Average Reading Time: 3.5 minutes

Have you ever been scared to approach someone? Maybe a prospect or even an interesting looking man or woman?

We all have. Even if it’s only an email we need to write, let alone a phone call or an in-person approach, we often put off contacting new and important people until the last minute possible, if ever.

I call this Phone Phobia: The fear of making contact. But it doesn’t stop at the phone. Phone Phobia covers any type of contact whether it’s phone, email, snail mail or face to face.

Why does this happen? We know deep down what needs to be done yet we often don’t do it. We are intimidated, scared, insecure or simply lacking confidence. All for what? To avoid the ever-powerful…Rejection. That one word causes more stress and anxiety than most any other. As humans we crave acceptance and any thoughts or actions that could lead to the opposite are avoided like the plague.

But what’s the worst that can happen? Maybe you’ll gain a little experience in handling an objection. Who couldn’t use a little practice there? And that’s if they turn you down. If you get a yes, then suddenly the world’s at your fingertips.

But how do we gain the confidence necessary to approach the people and prospects who are so potentially important to our futures?

I have found an answer in two words: Making Contact.

Here’s the rule of thumb: The longer you wait between contact with a person, the more intimidating it is to make future contact.

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10 Lessons a Pickup Artist Can Teach a Salesman

By Scott | June 3, 2010 | Follow me on Twitter

Written by: Scott Dinsmore

Average Reading Time: 7.5 minutes

What do you think a pickup artist could teach a salesman? I bet you’d be surprised. I know I was.

Can you think of a more crucial and technical sale than convincing a man or woman to go out with you, spend their time and maybe even locking lips? That sale can take a lifetime to master.

A couple years ago when starting my investment business, a respected mentor and salesman recommended only one book: The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. I laughed until I realized he was serious. Then I bought the book. He promised the techniques for picking up women were just as relevant for business relationships (well most of them at least…). A little common sense and discretion is required.

It turns out that these days the author, Neil Strauss, does one-day workshops on social dynamics and rapport building for the likes of premier global management consulting companies and he charges top dollar. These guys are the cream of the crop when it comes to consulting and we can be pretty sure he isn’t teaching them how to get a date. Understanding how to interact in social situations is crucial and this was a pretty entertaining (and very real) way to learn a few things.

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Sell with Trust and Have a Friend for Life: 32 Lessons from Jim Cathcart

By Scott | May 22, 2010 | Follow me on Twitter

Written by: Scott Dinsmore

Average Reading Time: 5 minutes

What’s more likely to get you to buy something: a slick sales pitch or a friendly referral?

It’s no surprise that we’d all prefer to do business with someone we like and trust. And who couldn’t use a reminder? Well a group of 150 entrepreneurs and I had the chance to make this a life motto when we heard Jim Cathcart speak at a Catalyst For Thought event in Santa Barbara last week. What followed was an hour-long energizing, motivating, belly laughing, masters education on how to live life.

Jim’s written 14 books on relationship selling and speaks, coaches and inspires behavior across the world. Yet we had him all to ourselves. He learned early in life that business should be an act of friendship and has guided his life accordingly. If that’s where you start, there’s no limit to where you’ll end.

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