Create Immediate Trust with Anyone

The Magic of Creating Trust

To be honest, I’ve been a tad terrified to write this post for almost a week.

Mainly because, after much convincing from some of our CWA graduates, I’ve agreed to publish one of the most embarrassing videos I’ve ever filmed (at end of this post).

But today is not about me.

It’s about you.

About being YOU. About us being US.

The Fastest Way to Kill Trust & Have a Miserable Life

Trust is the foundation of everything meaningful.

It takes a lifetime to build and an instant to crush.

Without it you have no business.

You have no friendship.

You have no marriage.

You have, well…nothing.

But every day so many people act in a way that’s consistent with sabotaging any chance of creating the genuine trusting connections that make life matter.

How, you ask?

We try to be someone we’re not.

We pretend.

We try to puff our chest up and act like we’re better than we are.

We think that just because the person next to us has all the answers (they never do), then we have to act the same.

I’ve felt this more times than I’d like to remember.

While surrounding yourself with inspiring passionate people is the fasted way to transform your ability to change the world, if you’re not careful, you might feel like you have to fake it.

But this inauthenticity is the death of everything that matters.

It took me a while to learn. I used to want to be someone else. I used to envy my investment banker friends. I used to want their lives, and be embarrassed to tell them about mine.

But it wasn’t until I got over it, and realized what actually mattered to me, that the magic began.

That’s why people came out of the woodwork to support my ideas. That’s why our movement at Live Your Legend exists.

I stopped giving a sh*t about what other people thought about me, and instead focused on being who I actually was. And sharing that in a genuine and helpful way with the people around me.

That was not easy. Not even close. And I still get it wrong all the time.

But that’s when everything changed.

Creating Trust is Simple

All you have to do is share who you really are with those around you.

Sure, easier said than done, but still incredibly simple.

We must be willing to show others we don’t have it all figured out.

To be a beginner and have the courage to ask and offer help.

That is what creates the most powerful connections in the world. 

That’s what builds the relationships that make the impossible not only possible, but probable.

It’s also what allows you have the most real, surreal and crazy experiences life could offer.

So in honor of people having the courage to be themselves, I want to share two damn inspiring videos from our recent CWA graduates.

They filmed these on their own, with no scripting. They claim to be introverts and have never been in front of a camera like this.

Yet they decided to lean into the fear and share their story, hoping it would inspire others.

A Tribute to Vulnerability…

Naz & Melanie:

Kevin:

The Dancing Fool

I make it a habit to be a beginner. To learn by doing. To look a tad silly at times.

So in the attempt to let it hang out a bit, and find a fun weekly date with Chelsea, I’ve recently started taking up breakdancing.

And I warn you – I am horrible.

Watching this video makes me cringe.

But why the hell not share it with you all?

Thanks to Nikki and CWA mastermind team Amigas, for giving me the push to go through with this…

Don’t see the videos? Click here.

Be Willing to Be Unashamedly YOU

Yeah I suck at breakdancing.

I suck at a lot of stuff.

And I’m terrified of lot’s more – like writing this, taking a stage and launching the biggest project of my life.

I constantly wonder if people will see value in what we offer.

I lose sleep over stupid things, like how to write a headline.

I have the music taste of a teenage girl – who doesn’t love Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus?!

I often feel like I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.

I used to be ashamed of this stuff.

Sure, you can go around acting like you’re someone you’re not.

You can puff your chest up and act big.

The only problem is you’re fooling no one.

Everyone knows these people are full of sh*t.

Stop holding everything so close to the chest.

Be proud of how crazy your ideas are.

Because as soon as you embrace you, you’ll start to make friends with more of the ‘crazy’ ones.

And that’s when things start to get interesting.

That’s why we created Live Your Legend. And it’s why I poured my heart and soul into creating How to Connect with Anyone.

And thank you to Naz, Melanie, Leah, Liz, Lorena, Kevin, Dean, Kerri, Stacy, Laurent, Ben and the rest of you who leaned into the fear and filmed your first video to show tens of thousands of our readers a little bit about who you really are.

You’ve given us more courage than you surely realize.

Let’s dance,

-Scott

For the comments: Be vulnerable – share one thing about who you really are!

Download The Ultimate Mastermind Workbook

how to create your ultimate mastermind team Workdbook

We hand-place every CWA member into custom mastermind groups based on your goals and location. Liz created this as a free tool to help you along the way. Enjoy!

 

 

 


Leave a Reply

97 Responses to “Making Magic: How to Create Immediate Trust with Virtually Anyone (+ my humiliating breakdancing video)”

  1. Mike says:

    Scott, maybe you’ve just highlighted for me one advantage of being over 40! For the most part, I quit worrying about other people’s opinions some time ago, minus my wife and children of course.

    And that breakdancing video is awesome. Really.

  2. Gonzalo says:

    Thanks Scott. One of your best posts. Direct to the heart. And I havent seen your crazy video yet ;) I’ ve just released my own blog two weeks ago and making another personal projects public. Opening my thougths and ideas for everyone causes me to feel nervous, shame and JOY. And fun! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Seriously. I think this is one of the best. Gonzalo

  3. Thanks to day 1 on the video, I am no longer afraid of trying anything new and making an ass of myself doing it! ;) I am afraid of being myself but I’m working on it. It also scares me witless to share my dreams with those closest to me! Just a couple of my weaknesses LOL!

    By the way, my six year old daughter was watching the breakdancing video with some (how can I put it kindly) disgust, when she suddenly piped up at the end,”Wow, he has really improved already; that just goes to show you should never give up!”

    I hope you guys across the pond are getting my sarcasm; I have insulted people on line (unintentionally) by the lack of nuance in the written word!

  4. Amorette Kwan says:

    Wow, what a great first attempt at breakdancing! There’s always a learning curve, but as Corbett Barr has said before, put in 20 hours of deliberate practice in any skill and you’ll already be better than 90-95% of people. Keep on dancin’, Scott!

    I pretend to be optimistic and outgoing all the time, but there are definitely times when I just want to breakdown and break things. I have issues with self-sabotage in eating and in life.

    I can open up to strangers (oddly enough) but with my closest friends, it sometimes feels awkward and I’m always afraid that they’ll find me wanting.

    • It’s a gradual process for sure Amorette. Just like with anything the best way to make progress is through very very small steps.

      Btw, I’ve heard Corbett was a master dancer back in his teenage years – which is how he got it his now wife to go out with him :).

  5. The bottom half of this post is incredible. Watching you break dance made me laugh, be embarrassed for you, and…. like you more. Point made! So, I’m going to think about how I can show my vulnerability and be truly authentic. Thanks Scott!

  6. Being on video scares me. Not much does but that does. And it’s frustrating that it seems to be what I am experiencing intuitively to push through and do on my blog. I have this repeating phrase in my head, “To succeed, do what scares you!” Your post inspires me. Other things about my authentic self:

    I’m a rock star in my own kitchen and loving room as long as there is no one else there except the adoring crowd in my head.

    And normally what brings me stumbling back to reality (literally) is my clumsiness colliding with the furniture, ceiling fan, and ultimately floor.

    Dancing with the Stars is stuff that my nightmares are made of. (Why not Dinner with the Stars? I could do that!)

    My life appears to be a concerted effort to prove Einstein right that if you are not making mistakes, you are not trying. But I assure you it was not intentional! :)

    I have genius level IQ but I never tell anyone what it is because I have grown tired of the responding looks like “Why aren’t you a rocket scientist or something?”

    I don’t have much use for education system and I don’t throw fits over my kids grades not being what they should and frustrate their teachers to no end over it. Life is too short.

    And finally, matching socks are so highly overrated. I’m so glad to see I finally started a trend in something!

    • Sounds like we have a few things in common MeiAnn! And I feel you on doing videos. When I launched LYL I literally spent 4.5 hours on a saturday filming one 1.5 minute welcome video using the camera on my macbook. It was terrifying. But over time the videos came more and more natural (except for the one I posted today of course!). Here’s to getting out there!

  7. Ben Fanning says:

    Love this topic! I love having dance parties with my 2 year old daughter to Icona Pop and I’m constantly questioning if my articles on my site are too “edgy” or not “edgy enough” for my subscribers

    • When in doubt, be edgy! I once heard a wise man say that whenever you are considering not hitting the publish button out of fear or some other demon in your head, those are the times when it’s most important to publish. Those always touch the community the most. That’s helped me a lot over the years. Glad to hear I’m not alone with my dance parties Ben!

  8. Amy Clover says:

    YES! Scott, I love that you posted that video! I personally have a very embarassing video coming out soon (I have to sing those names to Kelly Clarkson’s Stronger) that I’m dreading, but also looking forward to in a weird way. It can be liberating letting your freak flag fly! ;)

  9. In the words of the immortal George Takei -

    “Ohhhhhhhhhh Myyyyyyyyyyy!”

    That was great! And a perfect way for me to start my day.

    To be honest, over the years, I’ve spent so much time trying to please and impress everyone else (and succeeding exactly 0% of that time) I feel I’ve lost sight of who I really am. This was such an appropriate post for me right now!

    You’ve come into my life at an amazingly perfect time Scott!

    • Great to be a part of a good morning for your Michael. Also good to hear you may be noticing it’s time to be a little more congruent and true to what matters. This community is here to support you any way we can!

  10. Polina says:

    I respect that. This post made me smile cheek to cheek, because I love being silly and trying new things, but sometimes my brain tells me to stop being foolish – NEVER I say! Thanks Scott. Made my day!

  11. Ziba says:

    WAT THE UFF! For someone just starting out, you’re actually really good at breakdancing! That’s so much better than what I could ever do. What’s there to be embarrassed about?! Go you! :D

    • Ha ha! My wife had tears streaming down her face as I played this for her last night (And it was the 7th time we’d watched it – she’s no breakdancing goddess herself you know…at least not yet ;). I think I might have gotten a couple bonus points in class for loving handstands and spinning out of control on my back (I guess they call them windmills…) – to the point of major hip bruising :)

  12. brian ball says:

    Scott, the breakdancing doesn’t seem embarrassing at all. Clearly you’re going at it with intention. High five!

  13. Jeroen van Baardwijk says:

    Back in 2006, after almost four decades of living the life other people wanted me to live and not being me, I decided to politely tell them to go to hell. Admittedly, I may have taken my new life of “being me” a bit into the extreme.

    I started blogging about my life. Every part of it: the good, the bad and the ugly. Apart from my debit card’s PIN code and my sex life, I’ve gone completely public. People were shocked! They couldn’t believe I was doing this! According to them I had to be out of my mind — I might be ruining my chances at getting a new job!

    Well, duh. I spent 20 years doing the wage slave thing. Thanks, but no, thanks. I prefer to be my own boss. Really, the only downside is that if things go wrong, I can’t blame my obviously imcompetent boss anymore. :-)

    There are people who didn’t even want to know me anymore when they found out about my er… disagreements… with the Justice Department. But I couldn’t care less, Why? Because all this was a case of CPRM — Carefully Planned Reputation Management (well, except those “disagreements” — those just kind of happened).

    My theory was that there are two groups of people in the world: narrow-minded, intolerant people who think everyone should be like them and condemn everyone who’s different, and open-minded, tolerant people who will accept others into their lives complete with all their screw-ups and shortcomings. By being completely open and honest about everything, I reckoned the intolerant and narrow-minded crowd would disappear from my life and I’d be left with only open-minded, tolerant people around me — both in Real Life and online.

    And guess what: it worked like a charm. :-)

    The net result: the people I hang out with nowadays will not always agree with me, but they love, respect and trust me. But hey, life would be boring if people always agreed with one another. :-)

    It took courage, I lost some people along the way, but in the end it was worth it.

    Oh, and Scott? Yeah, you’re right. You’re horrible at breakdancing. :-)

    • Well at least SOMEONE came out and said it!! Horrible ideed. Sure am!

      And Jeroen you absolutely nailed it as your described those two types of people. That is exactly why we built How to Connect With Anyone. You can either hang around the people who say you’re stupid for trying, or you can surround yourself with the people who inspire possibility. The people in these comments right now. The people in this community. If we all do everything in our power to spend time around those folks, everything starts to change. Thanks for nailing is.

      Your quote was PERFECT: “My theory was that there are two groups of people in the world: narrow-minded, intolerant people who think everyone should be like them and condemn everyone who’s different, and open-minded, tolerant people who will accept others into their lives complete with all their screw-ups and shortcomings. By being completely open and honest about everything, I reckoned the intolerant and narrow-minded crowd would disappear from my life and I’d be left with only open-minded, tolerant people around me — both in Real Life and online.”

      Spot on!

  14. Crtomir says:

    Well it surely takes courage to do something like this!!! It’s funny how something potentially embarrasing can turn into something that earns so much respect! Because Scott, you undoubtedly earned a lot of additional respect from all of us, posting this video! Its a paradox!:) The difference is just in what perspective we put something like this in our heads. You succeeded to turn it in a positive perspective and it took courage to do it! BRAVO as we would say in my country!:)

    • Well thank you for this. One thing’s for sure, there is no way anyone is going to benefit from the actual dance techniques of this video. At least it can be good for a laugh (or a cry, in my wife’s case…).

  15. Joe says:

    Scott,

    When I was in my mid 30s I started taking Karate and Hip Hop classes(this was back in the early 2000s) and you know what….it was the best thing that ever happened to me. My mistake was STOPPING. But now I’m doing other fitness classes to get back into the shape I was back then.

    You did better than I thought you would and there is NOTHING to be embarrassed about. Keep dancing and don’t stop! You’ll be glad you did.

    Joe.

  16. Larry Taylor says:

    Hey Scott, watching you dance and be vulnerable to the whole world only raises my respect for you. I’m looking forward to CWA even more now. Thanks.

  17. Jennie Hoffman says:

    LOVE the breakdance video! It highlights everything you wrote about. It was also the perfect thing for me to see today. I decided a few months ago to quit my nice safe job and head out on my own, and now that my final weeks as a regularly employed person are coming up (end date Feb 28) I find myself either embarrassed to tell people what I’m doing or trying to make it sound like more than it is. This post and this video will help me keep it real.

    Thanks!

  18. Andrea Gits says:

    Scott, that breakdancing is awesome! Props to you for posting. I love it!

  19. Chitra Chandrashekhar says:

    So true! drowning the noise of opinions would really make us listen to our true self. Not only is it a great revelation but also an immense sense of liberation! Kudos for sharing the strength in being vulnerable!

  20. Henry Bond says:

    Scott, your posts are really great. I receive them in my email inbox, and I always read them. I will try to comment more often from now on. What stood out to me from this post is the idea that trust takes such a long time to build. I just moved to a new city – Portland, OR – and I realize that the quality of all those incredible relationships that I build over my past 4 years in college are not so easy to find in a new place. I was driving in a car with one of my new coworkers yesterday and he told me, “Yeah it really takes about a full year until you really feel integrated and have found your niche in a new city.” Perhaps by following your example and creating a mastermind group – for me, something related to photography or writing, my passions – I can speed up the process a bit and meet some people I have a lot in common with. Thanks again for your awesome posts.

  21. Kirri White says:

    Aww Scott – You really do suck at breaking!! I so enjoyed watching that – my first laugh of the day :)

    At the moment, I kinda suck at public speaking but I have started doing v-logs. My first one is going up on my blog next week and I have been holding back – re-editing, feeling so self-conscious and wanting to start over for the 10th time. After watching this – I’m just going to go for it. It’s far from perfect, but neither am I.

    Brilliant post!

  22. Thomas says:

    Man, you rock :) It’s really not that bad (dancing i mean), I’d like to dance like this too! (you actually inspired me to get some dance lessons, looks like fun)

  23. Jill ;) says:

    Hahaha! You made my day with this video! I love reading your emails! I have tried to be as transparent of a person as I can be for the past 10-12 years and when I see someone doing the same I’m so excited! It’s probably the most freeing way to be, but kinda scary at times. I already feel that we’d be friends, but this video solidified it! Thanks so much for being you and for your awesome encouragement! :)))

  24. Leah Hynes says:

    Scott – I can’t tell you how much your video made me smile and laugh!!! The highlight was when you stumbled into the barrier and hearing Chelsea’s giggles on the other side of the camera! I have realized that we all need more fun in our lives and the importance of letting go of inhibitions. Perhaps you will start a break dancing revolution….cool!

    You.are.brave – I admire you more than ever for posting that – I wasn’t sure it would ever make the light of day after Nikki told us about the challenge she threw you! Very refreshing when someone lays it out on the line. Nice work!

    I am challenging my husband (and myself) to join you and give break dancing classes a go as our ‘date night’….I let you know how that turns out!!!

    Leah :)

  25. Nikki Smith says:

    Scott,

    My oh my, I am in awe of your integrity and courage! You Scott are AWESOME!

    You killed it in the vulnerability challenge in such a great way!

    It is clear that you are fit and strong and you showed us a vulnerable edge to that strength. (can’t seem to avoid that pun!)

    You could have edited it down more and you didn’t. I agree totally with Leah, the barrier and Chelsea giggling add to the pure gold!

    Here’s to you and Chelsea!

    I will be heading to Airey’s Inlet on the Great Ocean Road in Victoria tonight to this amazing place that serves delicious food and will toast to the two of you!

    By the way, I almost didn’t send the email but thanks to the CWA course and my Amigas I did. Show up, add value, be yourself and let go of that pesky impression management stuff!

  26. yea you suck, but you tried and that’s lifes most important ingredient, trying.

  27. “The more frightened I am, the more I have to run into what’s scaring me to figure out what it is.” – Stephen Spielberg

    Being terrified means you’re doing it right :-) I’ve lived my 50 years always expanding my boundaries and in the end, it’s never as bad as I imagined it would be. The rewards of stretching one’s boundaries are amazing. Congratulations and thank you for putting your trust in us.

  28. Sally says:

    What’s wrong with the breakdancing video? Once you’re going faster it will be amazing, you’re doing all the right moves! If I could dance like that as a beginner I’d be delighted. Give it six months, you’ll smash it.

  29. Sally says:

    Oh my gosh, I finally know what my passion is!! (No, not breakdancing :) For some reason seeing your vulnerability has given me my long awaited breakthrough! Thank you so much :)

  30. Thomas says:

    Hi Scott, you asked us to be vulnerable so here goes.

    I am over 50 and terrified that all I have accomplished in 50 years is swiftly amounting to nothing. It’s not like I have been sitting on my ass doing nothing all my life. I’ve toed the line and taken on the kind of roles that make sense to this world. Roles considered to be socially acceptable, that earned me good money and even came with a generous dose of prestige and respect.

    I worked hard and progressed professionally just as I did in life generally
    but as I developed, I grew more and more unhappy. My ambitions were being fueled by success standards set by society and had nothing to do with what I truly
    wanted in life. If I’m honest I would have to say I loved many aspects of my
    job but I hated the stress, politics & pressure I had to contend with in the corporate world.

    Knowing that I needed to “be realistic” I sucked it up, shoved my concerns and my “ridiculous” dreams in the deepest darkest corner of my mind and made the best of life…. I pressed on through the discomfort in the hope that it would all be worth it in the end, “No pain, no gain”, “Nothing good comes without effort”, “Never ever give up” all true and good but extremely disastrous if, like me, you are heading in the wrong direction.

    Mid-life came with a bang and the whole deck of cards came crashing down.
    Boy, did I have a hell of a mid-life crisis; the aftershocks still tear through
    what’s left of my life.

    As it turns out, all I really want to be is a Traveler, a Free Soul… a guy who
    travels the world, soaking in the culture, sights and atmosphere as he gets to
    know and help the people around this beautiful planet. Yes, I do want to add
    value to people’s lives in some way but I have no idea how traveling the world
    will allow me to achieve that… Now try telling that to your loved ones, your
    friends and your business partner after they have already watched you lose that
    great job, your lovely home and your marriage.

    I have a dream to fulfill but I also have responsibilities to my children, family,
    business partner and myself that I must live up to. I’m not a young kid who can
    just chuck it and travel the world but if I give up on living my dream then I’m
    doomed to live a really miserable life. I must do this but I don’t know how!

    I feel more vulnerable now than I have in my entire life but I’m going to have to find a way to do this.

    • Mike says:

      Thomas, I’m not Scott, but anyone who can write that passionately and introspectively certainly has a lot to offer to people. Epictetus, a Stoic, tells us to play the game of life where we can with “skill, form, speed, and grace.” At the end, though, it was the game that mattered– the victory is in the playing, with its successes and failures. I think that you have a lot to offer people with your wisdom on both.

      I worry that you’ve created a false dilemma, where you can only see two options– live your dreams or live in drudgery– where there might be many more options. Perhaps your purpose at this point is to find those options.

  31. Stephanie says:

    This is my favourite post of yours ever! It’s exactly where I am at right now, I have felt for a long time that I shouldn’t be myself. Now I am wondering if it might just be the strongest thing I can put out there. It is scary though, there is a big voice saying that myself is not really of value.

    I love, love the dance! Watched it in the car while waiting to pick up my wee boy from school and probably freaked the other parents out with my laughing. Although as a drama/movement person you actually are not at all bad! Hope we get a progress update in a few months!

  32. I’m 42 and I LOVE Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus!

  33. Zadi says:

    Wow. De-lurking to say that this just might be the most powerful thing of yours that I’ve ever read. Perhaps it’s because it’s just so dang timely; I’m experiencing extreme frustration professionally and with the realization that I have no clue who I really am due to a whole host of complicated issues.

    But the one thing I do know is that a true connection with another human being is the most incredible thing in the world. I think that’s why I’m so infinitely passionate about social dance (being the one thing I *do* know unequivocally about myself) — that it creates the structure for a silent but profound and very human connection with another person, even if it’s only for the duration of a song or a tanda. The ability to offer and inspire that kind of total trust with a simple embrace is truly magical.

    So… yes. To all of this. I was too reluctant to sign up for your course the first time around due to a combination of fear and feeling poor, but perhaps I should reconsider that.

    As for vulnerability… I’m terrified that I’ll never amount to anything, never figure out what the hell I’ve been put on this planet for, never be truly authentic. I’m terrified that I’m a coward, and it hurts so much every time I fail to stand up for someone who needs it.

    On a more concrete note, I exist in geek circles but am truly terrible at video games and know nothing about comic books. It’s seen as an embarrassment, but so what?

  34. Michael says:

    Scott, great contribution! Your willingness to be vulnerable will inspire many others to take the step to open up more, myself included. Thanks!

  35. Arushi says:

    It’s so true that things fall into place when you stop giving a sh*t about what others think, and really be yourself and do what makes you happy. I experienced it in my final year of college, where being the only girl in a batch of 18 students, I stopped caring about what was the ‘right’ thing to do, and went ahead with what I was all about – my passion and my interests – however stupid they may seem to the others. And it was awesome. An exhilarating and energising experience ending with me at the top of the class!
    It is a struggle to stay on track though…it’s so easy to just want to fit, but your inspirational emails help so much! :)

  36. [email protected] says:

    Scott,

    You are so inspiring in so many ways. Thank you so much for sharing your vulnerability and fears with us. It’s easy to look at you and think that it was easy for you to be where you are today. But to be as successful as you are now, you had to overcome a lot of fears. There is an awesome quote by Jack Canfield that I love that says “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” I love it because I know that to be true. I am really scared about how people will see me, but I am willing to take one step at a time to get to the other side. Even though my dreams of helping other people in my own unique way is not my reality right now, at least I have the tools to help me with my fears. Getting to know your story and a being a big supporter of the value that you bring to all of us, you have and continue to inspire.
    PS: I always wanted to take belly dancing classes but felt scared to look like I didn’t know what I was doing. For some reason, I feel that I am ready now after watching your video :)

  37. Laure Merlin says:

    High five ya dancer ; ) . Let me tell you mine, I’m so transparent… I don’t mean that people don’t notice me, quite the opposite because I’m consistently taking “strange” choices, but that I can’t hide anything. When I was 15 I went to see a shrink so that talking openly to him would hopefully prevent me from doing it with everybody, but at 40 now I have to admitt to little progress… I’ve been hearing the advice over and over to keep things to myself. If by any chance I don’t reveal something, you’d know it all just by asking.
    But like Liz said on http://www.alifeonyourterms.com, I’m realizing it’s ok to just be me.

  38. Kevin Wood says:

    Love it Scott!

    That was an extremely tough video to reach out and make, I hope it helps others to push past their comfort zone and embrace fear. Our fears aren’t even close to as scary as we craft them to be in our minds :)

  39. Awesome videos. All 3 of them. You can see the happiness and authenticity in the first 2 videos. That’s how people look like when they are being genuine. And THANK YOU Scott for that dancing video. Made my day.
    I had recently seen Brene Brown’s “Power of Vulnerability” on TED and I was wondering about how to put it in practice, and then I saw this post. It has given me a lot to think about and implement small changes in my life to try to be a little more vulnerable. I am, like Melanie, an introvert and hold a lot of things close to the chest. And, because of that have probably been afraid of doing quite a few things (dancing included). For e.g., I like the occasional drink with friends but most of them insist on going to clubs/discs whereas I’d prefer sitting at home or a bar/pub at the most. Due to the fear of being seen as “uncool”, I’ve accompanied them and have spent the hours asking myself what am I doing here. I’ve also been afraid of approaching girls thinking that I was not good enough. I am planning to let my vulnerable side show a little more, be myself, and hope it turns out well.
    Thanks for the inspiration.

  40. That breakdancing video is classic man. I’ve taken up Salsa/Merengue/chachacha out here in Costa Rica (when in Rome!) and it’s amazing how much faster we learn when we start with “yeah, I look ridiculous, and that’s okay because I’m learning!” vs. “what do people think of me?, do I look really stupid?, and why am I even doing this?” The latter leaves us in a place within our ego that prevents us from making strides and building momentum. It leaves us without.

    It looks like you’ve truly changed some lives in this world Scott, and that’s one of the biggest accomplishments I can think of. Great job in what you’re doing for this world. Now go bust a move!

  41. You should see me with Spanish dancer wife :-)… We all have talents and dance is not one of mine! For me, it took a while just to accept my own unique talents and passions, & develop stuff to help others. best from Spain, DanO

  42. Samantha Masinsin says:

    Hey Scott, thanks for sharing your breakdancing video, and a inspirational post as always. Great start to my weekend!

  43. José Pablo Saucedo Islas says:

    I just want to let you know this post was great! It’s “simple and well said before”, but being yourself… It’s liberating. Thank you for the reminder, and sharing that video with us!

  44. Sarah says:

    Scott,

    What a great way to start off my day. Your video has left me smiling and inspired. Thanks for sharing your breakdancing debut… you do know this means you’ll have to give us another video later on to show us your progress. ;)

    Just last weekend, I spent some time expressing myself thru freeform interpretative dance (after many years of being restrained in my dancing even though I have years of training and practice). Just letting go and expressing sure feels great, doesn’t it!?

    Thanks for being vulnerable with us and encouraging the rest of us to do the
    same. You are definitely being the change you are encouraging the rest
    of us to be.

    Here’s to being vunerable and sharing ourselves with the world! :)

    All the best,
    Sarah

  45. Love this post….and everything you do Scott…I’m a terrible singer :)

  46. Ben says:

    I’ve definately found it hard to put myself and my vulnerabilities out there. I’ve improved by writing my own stuff and putting videos out there but I could definately use some more improvement on that.

    My thing to share is that I can be incredibly lazy and just do nothing for days at times. It’s something i’ve really had to work on when I started getting serious in my business, and now i’m doing alot more each day than I was a few months ago.

    Just gotta work on it more even!

    -Ben

  47. For me, my music is all about sharing vulnerabilities. It’s pretty damn humbling to expose myself to the judgement of others like that, especially when it’s something so personal. But when people respond well, they respond amazingly well.

  48. Lisa says:

    Hi Scott, you never cease to amaze me with your incredible openness! I so admire you for doing that break-dancing….and you know most of us would not even be able to do what you were doing – so kudos to you!! I have always dreamed big and felt like the odd one out for doing so. This year is about making it actually happen, so thank you for the inspiration you are giving us all here! Hope to meet you one day, so if you are ever in NZ let me know!

  49. Guest says:

    I love how in just two days your beginner’s mind, beginner’s body is flying even steadier. Beginner’s mind, here we go!

    And, on a side celebration, I’ve been using your weekly planning process for a few weeks now, just plain great!

  50. I love how in just two days your beginner’s mind, beginner’s body is flying even steadier. Beginner’s mind, here we go!

    And, on a side celebration, I’ve been using your weekly planning process for a few weeks now, just plain great.

  51. Kate Marolt says:

    Not sure how I missed seeing this video… super glad I did now though!! :) Love it. It looks similar to the recording of my first ever gymnastics class last year… not pretty. But that’s exactly it, right? I was too scared to go to gymnastics for almost a year, and when I finally did even though I felt uncomfortable and stupid and weak sometimes, I also found an amazingly supportive community, new friends, and even a new relationship. Oh, I also got way stronger and am now in training to teach adult gymnastics classes :)

    The point is, I still feel awkward and ridiculous a lot of the time. But why should that stop us from doing great things?

    Thanks as always, Scott.

  52. Ken Watson says:

    I have been working on making myself a better person and breaking out of my introverted “shell” for a little while now, and I must say reading this post has given me a whole new approach on achieving that. By the way, I’m pretty sure with more practice, you could be a great breakdancer. I didn’t think it was that bad.

  53. beachmama says:

    Dancing is a real trigger for me.

    I LOVE to dance, my husband does not. We’ve taken ballroom dancing classes and he hates every minute of it and taking the class was HIS idea! We’ve tried country western dancing, line dancing . . . all disasters. He’s ended up sitting it out and I’m on the dance floor having a great time. He never danced as a young kid (we’re in our late 50′s, age makes NO difference) and so carries that awkward stigma with him that he’s a terrible dancer when he’s never truly tried. The thing is, he’s an arborist and the most graceful (sexy) thing I’ve ever seen in a tree (or anywhere else). A client calls him “a ballet dancer in the trees”. When we dance together at home, when he’s in a rare playful mood, he’s great! He’s not a puffed up kind of guy but he really has a hard time with being playful and I’ve allowed it to hold me back as well (co-dependent?).

    It’s crazy how WE hold ourselves back with the negative self-talk!!!!

    You’re not horrible at break-dancing Scott, you’re a beginner. If you choose to be good you will be. You’ve got the moves now comes the rhythm and the confidence, throw in humor and fun and WHAM! YOU are ON IT!

    LOVE your blog. I’ve sent your TED talk link to my nearly 17 year-old son who is held back in so many ways by the group he’s hanging with and negative talk from his dad. I just listen and give him gems like your talk to show him there are other ways to be in life. Thanks for all you do . . .

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  56. Amelia C says:

    It’s good to know there’s others out there with experiences I can empathize with. Generally, I leave nearly every interaction with another human being reviewing the conversation to see what I could have said that may have been offensive, then berate myself appropriately. I’m just as surprised about what comes out of my mouth as everyone else is most of the time.

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    Thanks for the great advise on how to earn trust instantly. If i learned this lesson 20ish years ago my life would have been better off along time ago. And with that, though its hard to admit i like taylor swift and hannah Montana music too. /cower guess heres one of many first step to change.

  59. Jackie says:

    Uhm…your breakdancing seriously just made my week. Thank you. And I’m being very honest here.

  60. Mel says:

    Great post and great job in posting the breakdancing vid. You actually seemed quite good on the stregth side of it (when your hands were on the ground), but when you were upright, you just looked as though you needed to loosen up and not think about the sequence of steps. I wouldn’t be embarrassed by it, you made it sound like it was terrible, but it’s not.

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