how to help successful people

“But what if I have nothing to offer?”

Over the past couple years, I’ve heard this a lot.

“I’d like to reach out and connect with some of the successful people in my industry, but I have nothing to offer.”

This was the broken record.

Your surroundings are what make living your legend a possibility, but how do you connect with those who have “been there, done that” without feeling like a mooch?

In interacting with over 10,000 people over the past couple years in my research for building our How to Connect With Anyone course and community, I think I heard this more than anything.

In fact, “adding unique value” is one of the pillars upon which we built the whole course. And today, I have a special treat. Below is a free video from Module 6 titled Creating Unique Value, Turning Enemies into Friends & How to Help Anyone (even the uber-successful).

I share it for two reasons:

  1. I think it will help a ton. You won’t believe how easy it can be to help people in a meaningful way if you follow what I cover in the video. You’ll be able to put it to use immediately.
  2. I want to give you a taste of what Connect With Anyone feels like from the inside, which we’ll open up again in a couple of weeks. This is just a small hint of one of our 13 modules.

In it, I share a couple of fun stories…

The first is how I gave a mentor of mine the ultimate gift: losing 40 pounds off his belly.

The second is about another friend, and how I got to know the person who probably has more to do with Live Your Legend’s success than anyone. Without his help and friendship, none of this would exist the way it does. Come to think of it, he was also the first person to suggest I create a course on building genuine relationships with the people who refuse to let you fail. And he’s also one of our experts in the course. What a guy!

As it turns out, adding value using your unique talents and passions is a lot easier than you think. And you can literally apply it to anyone you want to meet. Like, anyone. Even world-class industry leaders…

Enjoy – and please put it to use!

Email readers, click here to watch the video on LYL.

Aside from what we cover in the video, another fun option is to provide some sort of a unique and memorable experience. That’s actually how I got Warren Buffett to help me pick out my wife’s engagement ring a few years ago. But we cover my proposal story a little later on in the course!

Remember, How to Connect With Anyone launches in less than two weeks. It will only be open to a small group of people for a few days. If you think it might be your thing, enter your email on this page to join the Insider’s Early Access List. We’ll also be hosting a free 1.5 hour live training on the 9 Pillars of Connecting With World-Changing People, which you’ll get special access to.

It’s pretty simple - Building genuine lasting relationships comes from caring enough to add real value to the people around you.

Sure, it takes a little work and creativity.

But it’s 100% in your control.

So your action item today is…

Watch the short video and pick one person you’ve always wanted to have a part of your world.

In the comments, tell us who you plan to contact. Then go make someone’s day!

-Scott

P.S. In next week’s post we’ll be hosting a fun little scholarship contest to give away lifetime access to the course and community. Keep an eye out!


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    • http://www.cynthiabelmer.com Cynthia Belmer

      This video made me miss SF more! :)

      I love your openness and how you simply things Scott. Great video!

      • http://www.cynthiabelmer.com Cynthia Belmer

        simplify not simply

  • Stephen Yeh

    Hey Scott,
    I go to China, not use the internet for awhile, and when I come back, I see you kicking ass on your site! nicely done.

    I just started reading your posts again, and I’m glad I was able to share the Tedx event with you. You definitely capitalized on it intelligently.

    I definitely like the topic of this post and I was able to implement it recently. I’m in China learning Tai Chi and I was able to become good friends with a very successful import/export entrepreneur. I have a feeling that we’ll be doing some business in the near future.

    Also, another way I’m going to add real value to successful people is when I come back to San Francisco, I’ll be teaching tai chi at country clubs and prominent wellness resorts to help the people there with their health and longevity.

    • Scott

      Awesome to hear Stephen. Sounds like a great adventure and glad to have you back with us at LYL! Would be fun to check out one of those Thai Chi classes at some point!

  • http://www.taniadesa.com Tania DeSa

    Great message Scott. Your stories remind us that we all have the natural ability to connect with people- sometimes it seems like a small act on our part but it can impact someone else in a big way.

    I’m going to reach out to some new expats in my city as I’ve been in their seat and know what it feels like to be a stranger in a new space. I want them to know they have a local friend and resource to rock their new Canadian life!

    • Scott

      Thanks Tania. Yup all it takes is some creativity and actually caring about folks. After seeing you at WDS I know you’re laking neither ;). Those folks are going to love being welcomed like that!

  • Guest

    Hey Scott,

    Great idea. I often had the same thought. After attending a seminar, I told my sister what I’d learnt – that to be successful, you should hang around people more successful than you. My sister retorted with, “If that’s the case, why would they wanna hang out with you?” … Touché. I hadn’t been able to answer that question until reading this. The answer is that they’re not more successful than me in every way.

    So glad I read this post. Out of hopelessness and into action! Cheers.

    • Scott

      That’s exactly right! There’s always a way to help someone. We’re the average of the people around us. We have to take that seriously!

  • http://zenpsychiatry.com Elana Miller

    Hey Scott,

    I’m one of the members of CWA, and I have to say your course has really revolutionized the way I approach interacting with people.

    I think doctors are embarrassingly bad at understanding the value of relationships. It’s a field where people have a lot of pride in their independence, but at the expense of all the benefits that come with interdependence.

    Since taking your course, I now have a whole new approach for how I meet, connect, and maintain relationships. Because NO ONE does this in medicine it has put me way ahead of the pack and I’m already getting a ton referrals for my psychiatry private practice, even though it doesn’t open for another year!

    So I just wanted to thank you for making such a valuable course, and really changing the course of my career for the better :-)

    • http://www.forkinthefreeway.com Emily Capito

      It’s not just medicine! Looking back, I was embarrassingly naive about relationships as a business executive and this is one the prime personal mistakes that I try to share with my coaching clients now.

      Seems that the type-A “independent” folks are often those that seek challenging careers. If you can capitalize on relationships by investing in others, you can be ahead of the pack in any field. Thanks for sharing this message in such a unique and impactful package!

      • Scott

        Love hearing that you’re now spreading the good word Emily!

    • Scott

      Wow – so fun to hear how well you’ve put this stuff to work Elana. I can’t say I’m too surprised though. Huge congrats to you! So fun to have you a part of it!

  • http://www.pnineichein.com Ben

    If you were to enter a room and ask “Raise your hands if you think that you are above average intelligence”, most people would raise there hand, which of course can’t be. So this proves that deep down we all believe that we are special and have extraordinary talent. In which case let’s be confident and strive forward to fulfil our passion with a smile. Thanks Scott for the great site and emails. Ben

    • Scott

      Well put Ben – If we believe we have it then let’s do something with it!

  • http://www.melanieharth.com Melanie Harth

    Perfect timing, Scott! I loved my time in the last CWA course. I’m going to a conference mid-October; I’ll use my CWA connection skills to get creative about reaching out to some folks before I arrive.

    Thanks for the great work you do.

    • Scott

      Yeah Melanie! It was so fun to have you a part of it. I hope you’ll be around to welcome the new class for CWA folks in a couple weeks!

  • dexter

    A great article Scott. And lets not forget that it is highly flattering for anyone to be asked to be a mentor. Sometimes the mere “gift” of reaching out to someone and asking for help can be enough to develop a lasting quality relationship. I was asked out on a date via email by my wife 10 years ago. At the time I had no interest but admired her courage and was flattered so I said yes. Now we have two beautiful kids an an awesome life as well as the most rewarding friendship we could ask for.

    • Sam

      Amazing – Dexter’s story shows how reaching out can change your own life and the other person’s!

    • Scott

      Amazing story Dexter. And yes I agree. It feels really good to help someone who genuinely wants guidance on something you have a special expertise in. That goes a long way.

  • Denise

    Honestly Scott, you are an absolute God send!
    Seriously, this post could not have come into my life at any better moment!
    Sending you the biggest of bear hugs from Aus!
    Cheers, Dee :D

    • Scott

      Well thank you Dee! You just gave me chills. I just wish I knew why it was so helpful for you :). Be sure to come back and share what you do with it!

  • http://www.motivateme.info Elle

    Scott,
    Have followed your work now for some time. But this post – you’ve taken it to the next level. Awesome piece of work.
    I am a big fan of paying it forward, and to me this is a perfect example of it in action.
    All the best
    Elle

    • Scott

      Glad you liked it – It’s on my list to do more video on LYL in the future. It was so fun filming everything for Connect with Anyone and I think it really took the course experience to a totally new level. Here’s to paying it forward – which happens to be another concept we cover a lot in CWA. Fun to hear you mention it!

  • Ashoka

    Great Message. Life is not about doing a few little great things. It is the little things that make a relationship great. In this mad rush to be someone great, we often forget what it takes to be a human. Thanks for your message.

    • Scott

      Well put Ashoka! Step back, breath and the be who you are. That’s what people actually appreciate.

  • http://www.crazyenoughtotry.com Ryan Bonaparte

    Thanks for this video, it was a great reminder that everyone has something to give.

    I never really thought about it, but now I’m very aware that those thoughts had been going through my head, that as a young 20-something there was very little that I could provide to people who had been in business longer than I’d been alive. But with stories like these, I can think of a few ways I could contribute to a positive relationship.

    • Scott

      You realizing that is a huge step Ryan. I know you have something to offer too. It just takes some digging and creativity. Have fun with it!

  • http://www.storybramble.com Stephanie

    This is a big challenge for me. I don’t know what I have to offer people. At the moment I am passing on any little thing I learn about blogging to others. It’s a baby step, I want to seek out ways to add more value to people’s lives,

    • Scott

      And that’s a huge start Stephanie. Over time that can compound in way you couldn’t imagine.

  • LaQuinta

    I have been at the starting point for 18 months now..my children and I are facing homelessness if I cannot find suitable employment..I have been awakened on many levels and everything I knew about life has been a lie..my trust in society is broken..I have no one that I look up to at this point..but I won’t give up..I am no ones victim..I am just gonna go back to the drawing board..

    • Scott

      Sorry to hear you’re in a such a tough spot. One thing that could go a really long way is to find one person who inspires you. Someone you look up to. And either try to spend some time with them personally, or if that’s not possible right now then inundate yourself with their work and ideas. That can help shed some light. The key is to start spending time around people who inspire you- who show you what’s possible. I realize that can feel like a big task. But start local and simple. Maybe someone you already know. Or go to meetup.com and find a group or attend an up coming LYL meetup near your hometown. Then also start to think of what you’re uniquely good at. What people thank you for. And start doing that for others. That tends to lead in a powerful direction. We’re here to help however we can.

  • http://startwhereyouarecoaching.com Janet

    Thanks for the tips, Scott! Your tips take the intimidation factor out of approaching someone who is successful in their field. You do fantastic work. You are changing the world with the people’s lives that you’ve touched, and things will only get better from here.

    • Scott

      This means a lot to hear Janet. Thank you. And so glad you’re with us! I agree that we are indeed just getting started…

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  • Carolina

    Hey scott! Your ideas have reached Venezuela, dont know if you have Venezuelans in your community (i bet you have :D); I bumped into your TED conference and I got hooked by your ideas and philosophy; I share most of them: I have my own company, love the heathy lifestyle and I am a runner, my first marathon will be NY this november. About this particular post what you said its totally right, in my experience the book thing works everytime! I have done it with my relatives and with clients and the outcome it’s always valuable for both parts. Thank you for sharing, I ‘ll keep in touch! P.S. Good luck with the cowboy boots…looks challenging

  • http://www.wiktorjodlowski.pl Wiktor

    It was an amazing feeling to just keep getting ideas on how to connect with the marketing influencers I wanted to reach out to by simply watching you on the video, Scott. Part of the story with providing real solution to someone else’s problem is my personal favorite. Thanks for the inspiration, man!

  • francesca

    This is such a great resource that you are providing. I love seeing websites that understand the value of providing a quality resource.

    Thank you very much and looking forward for more informative articles in the future. Bookmarked!
    http://www.nlppowertraining.com.au/

  • http://counselingpensacola.com/pensacola-therapist Ashley P

    Wonderful video with expert advice on success. Thanks for sharing!

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  • http://sixthirtyone.com Missy Cooke

    I think one of the best takeaways from this video is the secondary point you made – that you didn’t go into the conversation with Leo with any expectations of what to talk about. You just let the conversation naturally guide itself and you were able to find common ground and in the process a great friend.

    Additionally, you didn’t stop yourself from offering value. You realized how you could help and you did it. I think so often we convince ourselves that the way we can add value (in your case providing this list of restaurants) is too small and meaningless to be helpful to someone else so we stop ourselves from doing it. But the truth is that just because someone else has more knowledge and expertise in one area, does not mean they have knowledge and expertise in another area and they need just as much help in that area as a ‘normal’ person.

    There are definitely some excellent points in your video.

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    I actually appreciate, result in I discovered just the thing I’d been writing about to get. You have concluded my 5 working day extended seek out! The almighty Thank you dude. Employ a pleasant day time. Cya

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  • http://AdvancedLifeSkills.com Jonathan Wells

    Scott, you know what I always notice is how your own passion comes through loud and clear in every article you write and every video you make. It’s even evident in your replies to other people’s comments. It’s totally contagious!

  • http://truetoyourheart.net Natacha

    Wow, awesome how simple that has to be, not grand schemes!
    I would love to have Nisha Moodley in my life. I admire her vitality and would like to have the same career.
    I will study her and come up with ideas then :)

  • Rossmore

    Hi Scott,

    Great information!
    I’m always thinking of how I can be of service to others.

    It definately helps you when you help others.

  • http://NoMoreHoldingBack.com Larry Hochman

    Funny you should mention, Scott…

    I went to a workshop last summer with no other agenda than to make new contacts. I suspected some would be potential business partners. But I went with the idea of serving…and allowing myself to be served if that’s where things went.

    A year later I have developed a power new circle of influence, and developed some great projects and income streams from them…all win-win situations.

    It really is how things work. Great article!

  • http://www.founderhealth.co Will Lenzen Jr

    This is a great teaser video, Scott. Thanks for sharing!

    I’ve found that it’s so easy to go about our hectic lives and totally forget about the value of slowing down long enough to connect with someone in a meaningful way. For those that don’t have any issue genuinely connecting, they may suffer from simply forgetting to do it! Personally it’s been a struggle for me to find my confidence, then once I found it the busyness kicked and it started to slip my mind. Your story is a great reminder that a simple gesture can go a long way.

    There’s a voice inside each of us telling us we’re not good enough to live our legends and associate with other legends. It’s just a matter of how effective you are at telling that voice to go the heck away. That seems to be the first hurdle to getting to a place of being able to add value to someone’s life.

    I plan to reach out to an old friend of mine I’ve been meaning to connect with for literally a year. He’s a great guy, and I just let life get in the way for too long.

    I also plan on serving my budding community as much as possible; hoping to add as much value as possible to entrepreneurs wanting to stop sacrificing their health for their business.

    Thanks for all you do, Scott! Appreciate all you’ve done to build up others.

  • Jessie

    This week I am going to offer my neighbors free golf lessons. We live on a golfing estate and they dont play golf and I am a golf teacher. Three ladies.

  • http://Thedawnmcmillan.com Dawn

    What a lovely post! What’s great is that whether anything comes of your gesture or not,you at least get the pleasure of doing something good in the world. Nice!

  • http://www.lifeleapsprogram.com Glen Tibaldeo

    It’s so easy to think you’re no one and have nothing to offer when everyone who feels like they have something to offer started at exactly the same place. What a great reminder. Thank you! I will share this with our Life Leaps community!!!

  • http://www.artdesignlandscape.blogspot.co.uk Sophie

    You know what? That’s actually a genuinely good, straight forward, practical piece of advice. How refreshing! (After all the vague rubbish written all over the internet). Now I think about it it’s blindingly obvious! Thank you, Scott. I will be applying it immediately.

  • http://andriayiasmin.com AndriaYiasmin

    Hey Scott,

    thanks a lot for the great video and post. In the past this was a question that has been keeping me away from actually talking to people I respect and when I did I was messing up.

    I kept thinking that they would be wasting their time talking to me and surprise surprise that’s exactly what was happening (self-fulfilling prophecy much?)!

    What worked for me is being able to see them as friends and give them something that I would give my dearest friend.

    Books, useful information, connect them with someone I know or just asking a question that they haven’t been asked before are a few ideas.

    When you keep doing that then confidence goes up and genuinely helping becomes a part of you and it feels just great.

  • omar

    I really love this post I also appreciate the real life examples you gave and thanks for the video about connected with people

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  • http://www.yoursite145.com William

    I’ve been trying everything and unfortunately they won’t work. I tried posting a playlist in my wordpress in the ‘Pages’ section but the playlist won’t show. Can someone please help with this?.

  • Susan

    What if what I offer isn’t valued by anyone else?
    I’m not one of these touchy-freely compassionate types. But I do know how to work systems and cut through red tape. So the books I give aren’t so much motivational as they are a whack on the side of the head. Unsurprisingly, no one really appreciates tough love.
    I appreciate my skills in research and data manipulation. But those don’t translate into small daily good turns, nor does it generate income.
    How do I find out what people value? Trial and error is ineffectual.

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