Love & Relationships

Get the Life You Love

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

-Mahatma Gandhi

Written by: Scott Dinsmore

Average Read Time: 6 minutes

Editor's Note: This is a book review for Arvind Devalia's book Get the Life You Love and Live It

We all have dreams. Maybe get that perfect job. Start that business. Meet the right person. Lose 20 pounds. Find your purpose. Whatever your own vision of success is, the only thing that usually stands between your dreams and reality is action. It starts with that first single step to climb a mountain. Why then is it so hard to begin? We get so used to just one way of doing things that getting ourselves to take that first key step requires some massive effort. It isn't enough to know the end result. We need to fill in the steps in between. Just as it's difficult to drive somewhere without directions, it's even more important that you have a map to your success. Arvind Devalia provides just that in his book "Get the Life You Love".

Accepting Others

"Acceptance is such an important commodity, some have called it the first law of personal growth."

-Peter McWilliams

Written by: Scott Dinsmore

Average Reading Time: 3.5 minutes

When was the last time your were frustrated by someone around you? Maybe they're always late, can't seem to follow through, missed another deadline, or perhaps you just don't see eye to eye. It doesn't make a difference what it is. The possibilities are endless and we all have a long list. By nature we expect life to just be the way we want it to be. When it's not, we don't like it. Many of us choose to carry this frustration around day to day. We quickly forget that it is indeed a choice to feel this way.

How to Cure an Emotional Hangover

Written by: Scott Dinsmore Have you ever felt on top of the world one minute and moments later felt like you'd fallen off an emotional cliff? Why is it that some of our favorite and most exciting experiences with others can often lead to us feeling drained or craving attention? Often the answer is that you're hung over...emotionally that is. Let me explain.

Symptoms of an Emotional Hangover

You've just had an amazing set of experiences and you suddenly:

  • Feel empty and alone
  • Are craving attention
  • Feel anxious, hurried and stressed
  • Lose your motivation to be healthy (mentally and physically)
  • Experience a feeing of excitement quickly replaced by feeling lost

Average Reading Time: 9 minutes

Have you ever come across someone who knew exactly what they want out of life? Anything they say, they mean, and will quickly act on. They seem confident, eager, excited and downright passionate. You can just feel the energy. What impression did that put upon you? Chances are you were experiencing the power of congruency. Tony Robbins first brought this term to my attention in his Unleash the Power Within 4-day seminar as well as most of his CD's, talks and books. Tony is about as congruent as they come. But what does that mean? This was not the same math term I learned in high school and to be honest, it's a way of life that is difficult to define. The best way is to experience it. But let me give it a try. The general definition of congruence is: identical in form; in agreement or harmony. Now apply this to a life approach. Someone who lives with congruency acts in direct accordance with their dreams, desires, beliefs, values, mission and goals. They do not let the thoughts of others affect their approach to the world. They take their own unique path paved by their understanding of themselves.

Written by: Scott Dinsmore

Average Reading Time: 7.5 minutes

What do you think a pickup artist could teach a salesman? I bet you'd be surprised. I know I was. Can you think of a more crucial and technical sale than convincing a man or woman to go out with you, spend their time and maybe even locking lips? That sale can take a lifetime to master. A couple years ago when starting my investment business, a respected mentor and salesman recommended only one book: The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. I laughed until I realized he was serious. Then I bought the book. He promised the techniques for picking up women were just as relevant for business relationships (well most of them at least...). A little common sense and discretion is required. It turns out that these days the author, Neil Strauss, does one-day workshops on social dynamics and rapport building for the likes of premier global management consulting companies and he charges top dollar. These guys are the cream of the crop when it comes to consulting and we can be pretty sure he isn't teaching them how to get a date. Understanding how to interact in social situations is crucial and this was a pretty entertaining (and very real) way to learn a few things.

Written by: Scott Dinsmore

Average Reading Time: 5 minutes

What's more likely to get you to buy something: a slick sales pitch or a friendly referral? It's no surprise that we'd all prefer to do business with someone we like and trust. And who couldn't use a reminder? Well a group of 150 entrepreneurs and I had the chance to make this a life motto when we heard Jim Cathcart speak at a Catalyst For Thought event in Santa Barbara last week. What followed was an hour-long energizing, motivating, belly laughing, masters education on how to live life. Jim's written 14 books on relationship selling and speaks, coaches and inspires behavior across the world. Yet we had him all to ourselves. He learned early in life that business should be an act of friendship and has guided his life accordingly. If that's where you start, there's no limit to where you'll end.

Avoid the Chatter! Written by: Scott Dinsmore

Average Reading Time: 4.7 minutes

I propose an idea. A call to action to fight the chatter and enjoy what's presently in front of us. Let me explain. Last week I found myself at a social media marketing event in San Francisco called SMASH. Fascinating and inspiring to say that least. Of all I learned, there was one word that stood out more than most: Chatter. Talk about a buzz word! In fact that one word summed up the whole event. For those of you not aware, chatter is the noise all the social networks in the world make when they have something to say...which is at least every second. It can be heard through your iPhone, your computer, your RSS and your iPad-and just about anything else you carry around that needs electricity. At some point it became our job to listen to and follow it. Anyone with a blog or interest online feels the interest and likely the obligation to keep up with this chatter. But how much better off does it leave us?

The80/20 Principle and Richard Koch Interview

Written by: Scott Dinsmore

Average Reading Time: 4.5 minutes

Ask Richard Koch and he'll tell you that life efficiency can be summed up in a sentence: 80% of the results come from 20% of the effort. My guess is we've all heard it before (especially if you read my resent post summarizing his book). But what might surprise many of you is that he sums up life happiness and fulfillment in just the same way. I had to learn more. After virtually following him between his homes in South Africa, Portugal and Sevilla, I learned two things. 1. He's not the easiest to track down and 2. He lives what he writes, to the T. He IS the 80/20 Principle. He of course wouldn't give a phone interview, only email--it was an 80/20 thing...

Slow Dance by David L. Weatherford

Written by: Scott Dinsmore In honor of Mother's Day today, I though I would share a poem that's been instrumental in my life and those around me. I hope it has the same effect on you. It was first brought to me by Tim Ferriss and I have kept it as a guiding light ever since-framed next to my front door in fact.

Slow down and take the time to appreciate your mother today. Without her where would you be?

Slow Dance

by David L. Weatherford

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round, or listened to rain slapping the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight, or gazed at the sun fading into the night? You better slow down, don't dance so fast, time is short, the music won't last.