04 May Getting Real: 33 Honest Personal Stories, Fears & Facts You Don’t Know About Me
A few years ago, Scott shared a post with personal stories, fears and facts. It quickly became one of the most popular posts he had ever written—shows the power of being vulnerable!
So what does it actually mean to be vulnerable? To me it means putting it out there, imperfections and all, with the purpose of connecting deeply to others. In my opinion vulnerability is not a suggestion, it’s a requirement!
Control Is an Illusion
As we talked about last week when we were discussing failure, our mind does things to keep us “safe,” and one of the ways we try to do that is to attempt to control the outcome of situations. But this control is simply an illusion. Because all we can ever control is how we show up, not how others will perceive that.
We fear that if we show our real, imperfect selves, we may be rejected or we may not be loved… which happens to be one of the deepest human fears there is. So, often times we try to show up in a way we think others will admire or approve of or relate to. But unfortunately, putting on our “perfect” mask usually backfires on us because no one wants to know a know-it-all!
We as humans relate to what is real. We see bits and pieces of ourselves in others as they go through their challenges and triumphs. This is what inspires inspiration in us. When we recognize in others a part of ourselves that we know is there, and realize it just isn’t being leveraged, we begin to understand that there is so much more that we are capable of. And we start to get closer to understanding what we are truly meant to do.
“Be honestly and unapologetically you. Because you being uniquely you will allow the people you interact with to feel comfortable being uniquely them—perhaps for the first time in their lives. There is no more authentic way to connect and no greater gift to give.” –Scott Dinsmore
That’s really important: when you show up as you, you give people permission to be them. So today, in honor of my 33rd birthday, I am laying it all out on the table for you. I hope this gives you a little better feel for the real side of Chelsea Dinsmore.
Here’s me being imperfectly me…
1. I Will Never See the Light of Day on My 33rd Birthday
As I write this, I am en route to Australia and because of the international dateline, I will never actually see May 2nd, which is my 33rd birthday. Originally, I just thought it was cool, but as the day is approaching, I am happy that I planned it this way. Milestones are hard this year and I think proving that time is an illusion is a good way to do something very different to celebrate my birthday!
2. I Am a Medical School Reject
My entire childhood, I dreamed of being a doctor and went down the full medical school route until I got rejected from every single school (all 24 of them!) that I applied to. I was a stellar student with great grades but apparently I wasn’t med school material. It was certainly devastating at the time but now I am thankful for that challenge—as I would never be sitting where I am today had that not happened.
3. I Gave Up a Degree in Public Health to Be a Yoga Teacher
When I didn’t get into medical school, I had a few years where I floundered a bit. As many do, I thought not knowing what to do could be remedied by going back to school to figure out what I wanted to do (bad idea!). At the time, I was just getting into yoga and even though it made no logical sense, I turned down an acceptance to UCLA Public Health School to get my Yoga Teacher Training.
4. I Suffered a Major Concussion in Junior High
When I was in Junior High School, I got hit in the head with a shotput being thrown by another student—which might actually explain a few things… 🙂 Don’t worry, he didn’t intend to throw it at me! But I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got hit in the head by a metal ball being chucked across the sky. I suffered a major concussion, almost broke my jaw and had a badly bruised face.
5. I Dream of Learning to Break Dance
Many of you saw Scott’s break dancing video. What you don’t know is that I was the one pushing us to take the classes. My brother used to play around with break dancing when we were little and I always dreamed of being able to do it. I literally get mesmerized every time I watch people break dance. It’s definitely on my bucket list!
6. Tupac Might Be the Reason Scott Fell in Love With Me
I grew up driving a lowered Honda Civic with exhaust while blasting Tupac—I know, right?! I was such a big fan that when I moved to college, I put a Tupac poster in my room. Scott also happened to be a huge fan of Tupac—and when he saw the poster in my room, I think that might be the moment he fell in love. On one of our very first dates, we rapped “Changes” together… And that might be when I fell in love!
7. I Am a Huge Nerd
When I was in college, I didn’t rush a sorority because—to be painfully honest—I didn’t even know what a sorority was. I grew up in a town where not many people went to college! I then got asked to join a sorority many of my friends were in but I said no because I didn’t want it to interfere with my studies. #nerdalert
8. I Don’t Know How I Have and Will Ever Live Fully Without Scott
As time passes, certain things about being without Scott get easier, like the physical pain, but others get harder, like the realization that I likely have a long life ahead of me without him. I’ve tried to stay very present but as time passes, the fact that there is a future ahead of me has started to settle in. And I still cannot imagine what my life looks like. It feels like I am staring at a blank canvas, but it is not a painting, it’s my life. It’s scary and it feels impossible at times.
9. I Strive to Find More Compassion
I feel that I have a whole new level of compassion since losing Scott, especially for those who have lost a person close to them. But on the flip side, I think that I have also lost some of my compassion. I have found myself not being able to relate as well to other people’s problems. I know they are doing the best the can with the situation they are given, and I am working to regain that understanding and ability to relate.
10. I am a Rule Follower to a Fault
I get very uneasy when I am not following the rules. Over the years of being with Scott, I got a little more flexible because he asked why about everything. But I still tend to follow rules just because they are the rules and get anxious when I am not!
11. I Give Up Too Easily
I hate confrontation, which means at times I give up too easily. If I modify an order at a restaurant and it doesn’t come out right, I’d rather just pick around the mistake than send it back. And I sometimes don’t stand up for myself when something goes wrong to avoid having to confront someone about it. It’s definitely something I strive to improve.
12. I Sometimes Feel Heartless Because I Don’t Buy Gifts
Experiences are the “gifts” I like to give which means I don’t always buy gifts for people. If I see something that screams out to me, I will buy it for someone. But I don’t tend to buy things just to buy things. And sometimes I feel badly when I don’t buy gifts for my friends or their children.
13. Wine Country and the Ocean Are My Happy Places
These are my two very favorite places on earth and I try to spend as much time as I can in both places.
14. I Am a Wannabe Surfer Chick
I love the idea of surfing but am not very good. I do it when I travel or am in Southern California but don’t do it consistently. And I have yet to attempt the cold waters of San Francisco. That is the sign of a dedicated surfer—so I guess I am just a wannabe. 🙂
15. I Am Self Conscious About the Fact That I Have a Baby Tooth
I still have a baby tooth (my mom does too so it must be genetic) but I hate it. I looked into getting it fixed before I got married but it’s a very expensive and drawn out dental procedure that I don’t really want to go through. So I guess I just have to embrace my uniqueness…
16. I Am Constantly Afraid That I Am Going to Ruin Live Your Legend
Scott built such a beautiful thing at Live Your Legend—and while I would not be doing what I am doing if I didn’t feel insanely passionate about it. I am also so fearful that I am not doing things right. I had faith that Scott would always be able to “figure it out” no matter what happened, but can’t say I have that same faith in myself.
17. I Love the Act of Traveling
I have visited nearly 40 countries since I took my first trip abroad in 2003. And while I love being in the other countries, I also absolutely love the act of traveling. Planes are my favorite but I love trains, cars, boats—the whole deal. I love being forced to unplug—and I get my best writing done on planes!
18. I Haven’t Paid for a Long Haul (6+ hours) International Flight in 6 Years
Scott and I got into travel hacking the year we were married and I have not paid for a flight over 6 hours since that day (and I always fly business class internationally!). I managed to get the flight that I am on right now, business class to Australia, for a whopping $27.00 dollars in taxes. I’ll be sharing some exciting things with you around this topic next month!
19. I Am the Pickiest “Foodie” I Know
I absolutely LOVE food. I love to eat. I love to cook. I love it all. But I am one of the pickiest foodies I know. I don’t like anything creamy because of the texture. I don’t like meat because of the texture. I don’t like egg yolks because of the texture. I don’t like olives—even though I try really hard to like them. As much as I love food, I definitely don’t love it all.
20. My Will Power Is Not Very Strong
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I have done several “months without” but I have to admit, I probably would have given up if it wasn’t for Scott. I tend to think something sounds like a good idea but am not very good at staying on track without someone to keep me accountable.
21. I Am Too Selfish to Get a Pet
I love animals (both my parents are veterinarians!) but over the years I have been too selfish to get a pet. I love to travel and know that having a pet will complicate the ease at which I can do that—so have never gotten one. I know I have a furry friend in my future though!
22. My Friends Are My Family
I have cultivated some truly remarkable friendships over the years. I have a group from high school, college, post college, San Francisco, etc. And I truly don’t know what I would do without them. I consider them my family.
23. I Am Really Bad at Telling Jokes
I wish that I was funnier. I love people who can just crack jokes on the spot or make clever comments. I, however, can’t tell a joke to save my life because I can’t get through the joke without 1. laughing or 2. delivering the punchline awkwardly.
24. I Do Adult Gymnastics
I was a competitive gymnast growing up and stumbled upon an adult gymnastics class in San Francisco that I absolutely LOVE. I literally arrange my week around that class because I love it so much—and it makes me feel like a kid again!
25. One of My Favorite Jobs at LYL Is Editing Pictures
I love adding text to pictures, editing pictures, etc. I know they are not always perfect or exactly centered because I am not a photoshop expert. And sometimes, I misspell or misquote but it’s one of my favorite jobs that I do at LYL. I truly get lost in it…
26. I Love to Cook for People
My friends joke that I always cook for them on my birthday… but it’s one of my favorite things to do. I love bringing people together but I also love the love I can put into a meal I cook for others.
27. I Feel a Little Guilty That I’ve Developed a Coffee Habit
I used to never drink coffee (and was very sensitive to it) but during our travels last year I started drinking it because I have a strange association with beverages. They make an experience for me! So I developed a daily habit. A few weeks ago, I thought about cutting back… but I just really didn’t want to go without it (see point #20)!!!
28. I Listen to the Same Songs Over and Over Again
I occasionally add songs to my Spotify “Favorites” playlist and just listen to my top favorites over and over on repeat. And I seem to never get sick of them! They light me up, the inspire me, they make me dance while I walk to work—and for that I love them.
29. Sometimes I Feel Stupid That I Don’t Know More About Current Events
I can probably count on two hands the hours of television I have watched this year—Warrior’s Game’s included! Watching TV is just not a big part of my life, which is good in some ways, but at the same time sometimes I feel out of place or unintelligent that I don’t know more about current events that are going on.
30. I Wish I Was a Better Phone Friend
I have never been very good at talking on the phone and have found myself pulling back even more over the past few months. I am a great communicator with writing notes but I would like to be a better phone friend.
31. Gratitude Is My Greatest Gift
I am constantly grateful that I am grateful. Gratitude is at the very top of my values list because I truly believe it is the hack to happiness. If you can be grateful, even when sh*t hits the fan, then you will always be able to find purpose in your life. You will always be able to feel alive and abundant. And that is why I prioritize it and practice it as part of my daily routine.
32. I Would Not Trade My Short Time With Scott for a Lifetime of Mediocrity
It is tremendous challenge to traverse through life without Scott, and I would do almost anything to have more time with him. But I would not trade the quality of what we had together for a longer time at a lower level of connection. He is far and away the greatest gift of my life and I am forever thankful that he chose me. It’s what gives me the courage to show up here everyday.
33. I Am Constantly Discovering and Re-Discovering My Passion
A decade ago, I was passionate about nutrition—so I got a job as a nutritional counselor. Then I was passionate about yoga—so I got a job teaching. Then came cooking… And now spreading the message of Live Your Legend. I think there is a false belief you just find your passion and it is a box that gets checked. But as you evolve, the things you are passionate about do too. A few years ago, I had my dream job—but as I changed, that dream job changed. Much more on this topic will be coming up as we prepare to announce 21 Days to Discover Your Passion. But the important part to note, is that every step is important. The skills and the experiences you gain every time you are following and acting on your passion is a necessary step in your journey.
So there you have it. This is me in a nutshell!
I would love to hear one painfully authentic thing you have to share! Let us know in the comments below.
Onwards to Australia!
– Chelsea Dinsmore