05 Feb The 2 Laws of Befriending Absolutely Anyone (even Warren Buffett)
“Show up and help people. That’s it. Focus on those two things, and before long you’ll have the world in your corner.”
– The How to Connect with Anyone Creed
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How to Make Friends with Absolutely Anyone (even Warren Buffett)
I believe there is no more powerful predictor of your success or failure than the people you choose to surround yourself with. It’s impossible to fully do work you love (and Live Your Legend) without the right people in your corner.
Environment is absolutely everything. And the best part is that it’s 100% in our control.
But so many people over-think it, especially when it comes to connecting with the “famous” or well-known folks.
They find every reason in the world why a certain person is too busy or not interested in them.
As a result, they make zero progress.
But the power of our surroundings are too damn important. It’s on us to do something about it.
An when you break it down, there are only two things that can truly change your relationships and environment.
Two actions and strategies will allow you to make the connections you used to only dream of.
And they are so freakin’ simple…
#1. See People As Close Friends You Haven’t Met Yet
This was the core theme of the How to Connect with Anyone talk I gave at World Domination Summit last year, and it’s the foundation of every relationship and future relationship in my life. It’s also the core of our course.
I call it Reframing Friendship, and when fully embraced, it changes everything about the way you interact.
The next time you’re wondering about how to approach someone you’d love to connect with and make a genuine part of your world, think of how you’d treat them if they were a close friend of yours.
Would you shove your product in their face? Would you constantly promote your ideas and never shut up? Would you disregard the big and important things happening in their life?
No. Not even close.
We treat good friends a little differently…
- We pay attention and genuinely listen to what they have to say
- We think of ways we can use our talents to help in meaningful ways
- We know enough about their lives, interests and passions to make suggestions and offer real value
- We remember their names, their birthdays, and we know about their spouse and kids
- We do everything in our power to make their lives better
- And we don’t do all of this because we’re expecting something in return – we do it because we flat-out care
How many hours a day do you spend being a good friend?
Stupid question, right? Being a good friend is not a box you check. It’s a way of life.
Making genuine connections is no different.
Make. People’s. Lives. Better.
That’s why I constantly keep up with the big projects of the people I’m close to and admire.
That’s why I’m constantly sending hand-written thank you notes for random things, big and small.
It’s why I wrote a $6,450 check to our Live Your Legend partner charity, impossible2Possible, last week. A portion of all our income at LYL goes to their cause because I genuinely believe in the way they are inspiring kids to do the impossible. I can’t tell you how happy it made me to cover what was by far our biggest “expense” of the year.
Help the people you care about.
This stuff is not that complicated.
Which brings us to…
#2. Show Up
The simplicity and power in this continues to blow my mind every time I put it to work.
It’s impossible to help anyone if you aren’t there to do it.
The guy who gets the amazing girl is not usually the smartest, funniest or hottest one in the room. He’s the one with the courage to actually walk up and say hello. He’s the one who leans into the nerves and decides to offer that smile. To give a real compliment. To find a unique and meaningful way to make her day.
The same goes for every relationship in your life.
You absolutely must show up.
Real connections do not happen behind a computer screen in your living room. They happen in the real world. At events, on double dates, on workouts, while lost in a foreign city or country.
If you want to surround yourself with the people who make the impossible your new normal, then you must seek them out.
Show up at the same parties, send them an email, pick up the phone and call them. Walk into their office.
Show up. Help them. Show them you care. Show them you’re passionate about a cause. Show them you care about the work they do.
But most importantly, SHOW UP.
Sorry for the redundancy, but as it turns out, 95% of making connections comes down to a decision to reach out. To care enough to say hello. To say thank you. To make someone’s day.
Showing up changes everything…
That’s how I got Warren Buffett to help me pick out my wife’s engagement ring.
That’s how a member of my investment mastermind group recently made it to the second round of interviews to be chosen as one of the people to manage a portion of MIT’s $15 billion endowment fund. Instead of just taking a phone meeting, he flew across the country to have an in-person connection in Boston.
That’s how Leo Babauta became one of my closest business and workout friends in San Francisco.
It’s how I got invited to speak at TEDx.
It’s how Liz Seda became the resident Live Your Legend Mastermind Expert – as well as a partner on some exciting projects coming up!
It’s how a mentor of mine convinced the Dean of Stanford Business School to accept him, even though he didn’t make the cut in the formal application process.
It’s how I sent one 2-sentence email that immediately led to a $100,000 investment in our investment fund.
It’s how Live Your Legend grew from 112 members to over 30,000 in under two years.
It’s how I managed to surround myself with the people that have changed every part of my life.
And most importantly, it’s how I met and managed to marry the woman that makes me better in every way imaginable.
How did Chelsea and I meet, you ask? Well, it started with me saying hello.
Watch Our Module 1 Video on Reframing Friendship – Free for You Guys
To further these two points, I decided I’d include free access to the Module 1 video from our Connect with Anyone course. It’s only a few minutes long, and I think it will help hammer these points home and show you how much energy we put into creating the best and most directly useful content we could for this course.
Everything comes back to Showing Up and Adding Real Value
These stories and case studies are just the tip of the iceberg – and we deconstruct and study every one of them in detail in How to Connect with Anyone.
Show up. Treat people as if they were your closest friend. And constantly find ways to genuinely offer value to the people around you.
Do whatever you can, big or small, to make their world better.
That is our only real job.
The rest will take care of itself.
For the comments: What’s one way you can apply the above two steps to your life right now – today and this week? Take one action to Show Up and Add Value. Tell us what you plan to do!
P.S. Keep an eye out next week for the launch of our totally free Ultimate Mastermind Workbook guide. The people who really change your game are the ones who hold you accountable, support and inspire you every day. One such group is what we call a Mastermind Group.
And as a special bonus for you all, our resident Mastermind Maven, Liz Seda, has put together what we believe is hands-down the most comprehensive free mastermind resource on the Internet – all 52 beautifully-designed pages of it. 🙂 It will be available to you guys, totally free for download, next week. Just wait until you see this thing!
P.P.S. I realize that there are a million ways to to implement these two points. That’s why I spent the past 14 months developing a 3-month interactive course and community on exactly how to build the genuine connections that can change your world. If you want learn more, be sure to sign up for the How to Connect with Anyone Insider’s Team to get priority early access next time the course opens up.