05 Feb The 2 Laws of Befriending Absolutely Anyone (even Warren Buffett)
“Show up and help people. That’s it. Focus on those two things, and before long you’ll have the world in your corner.”
– The How to Connect with Anyone Creed
Do you like our creed? You are welcome to share, steal or give it to anyone you think it will help! Click here or use the links below to share the Creed with someone who needs it.
How to Make Friends with Absolutely Anyone (even Warren Buffett)
I believe there is no more powerful predictor of your success or failure than the people you choose to surround yourself with. It’s impossible to fully do work you love (and Live Your Legend) without the right people in your corner.
Environment is absolutely everything. And the best part is that it’s 100% in our control.
But so many people over-think it, especially when it comes to connecting with the “famous” or well-known folks.
They find every reason in the world why a certain person is too busy or not interested in them.
As a result, they make zero progress.
But the power of our surroundings are too damn important. It’s on us to do something about it.
An when you break it down, there are only two things that can truly change your relationships and environment.
Two actions and strategies will allow you to make the connections you used to only dream of.
And they are so freakin’ simple…
#1. See People As Close Friends You Haven’t Met Yet
This was the core theme of the How to Connect with Anyone talk I gave at World Domination Summit last year, and it’s the foundation of every relationship and future relationship in my life. It’s also the core of our course.
I call it Reframing Friendship, and when fully embraced, it changes everything about the way you interact.
The next time you’re wondering about how to approach someone you’d love to connect with and make a genuine part of your world, think of how you’d treat them if they were a close friend of yours.
Would you shove your product in their face? Would you constantly promote your ideas and never shut up? Would you disregard the big and important things happening in their life?
No. Not even close.
We treat good friends a little differently…
- We pay attention and genuinely listen to what they have to say
- We think of ways we can use our talents to help in meaningful ways
- We know enough about their lives, interests and passions to make suggestions and offer real value
- We remember their names, their birthdays, and we know about their spouse and kids
- We do everything in our power to make their lives better
- And we don’t do all of this because we’re expecting something in return – we do it because we flat-out care
How many hours a day do you spend being a good friend?
Stupid question, right? Being a good friend is not a box you check. It’s a way of life.
Making genuine connections is no different.
Make. People’s. Lives. Better.
That’s why I constantly keep up with the big projects of the people I’m close to and admire.
That’s why I’m constantly sending hand-written thank you notes for random things, big and small.
It’s why I wrote a $6,450 check to our Live Your Legend partner charity, impossible2Possible, last week. A portion of all our income at LYL goes to their cause because I genuinely believe in the way they are inspiring kids to do the impossible. I can’t tell you how happy it made me to cover what was by far our biggest “expense” of the year.
Help the people you care about.
This stuff is not that complicated.
Which brings us to…
#2. Show Up
The simplicity and power in this continues to blow my mind every time I put it to work.
It’s impossible to help anyone if you aren’t there to do it.
The guy who gets the amazing girl is not usually the smartest, funniest or hottest one in the room. He’s the one with the courage to actually walk up and say hello. He’s the one who leans into the nerves and decides to offer that smile. To give a real compliment. To find a unique and meaningful way to make her day.
The same goes for every relationship in your life.
You absolutely must show up.
Real connections do not happen behind a computer screen in your living room. They happen in the real world. At events, on double dates, on workouts, while lost in a foreign city or country.
If you want to surround yourself with the people who make the impossible your new normal, then you must seek them out.
Show up at the same parties, send them an email, pick up the phone and call them. Walk into their office.
Show up. Help them. Show them you care. Show them you’re passionate about a cause. Show them you care about the work they do.
But most importantly, SHOW UP.
Sorry for the redundancy, but as it turns out, 95% of making connections comes down to a decision to reach out. To care enough to say hello. To say thank you. To make someone’s day.
Showing up changes everything…
That’s how I got Warren Buffett to help me pick out my wife’s engagement ring.
That’s how a member of my investment mastermind group recently made it to the second round of interviews to be chosen as one of the people to manage a portion of MIT’s $15 billion endowment fund. Instead of just taking a phone meeting, he flew across the country to have an in-person connection in Boston.
That’s how Leo Babauta became one of my closest business and workout friends in San Francisco.
It’s how I got invited to speak at TEDx.
It’s how Liz Seda became the resident Live Your Legend Mastermind Expert – as well as a partner on some exciting projects coming up!
It’s how a mentor of mine convinced the Dean of Stanford Business School to accept him, even though he didn’t make the cut in the formal application process.
It’s how I sent one 2-sentence email that immediately led to a $100,000 investment in our investment fund.
It’s how Live Your Legend grew from 112 members to over 30,000 in under two years.
It’s how I managed to surround myself with the people that have changed every part of my life.
And most importantly, it’s how I met and managed to marry the woman that makes me better in every way imaginable.
How did Chelsea and I meet, you ask? Well, it started with me saying hello.
Watch Our Module 1 Video on Reframing Friendship – Free for You Guys
To further these two points, I decided I’d include free access to the Module 1 video from our Connect with Anyone course. It’s only a few minutes long, and I think it will help hammer these points home and show you how much energy we put into creating the best and most directly useful content we could for this course.
If you can’t see the video, click here.
Everything comes back to Showing Up and Adding Real Value
These stories and case studies are just the tip of the iceberg – and we deconstruct and study every one of them in detail in How to Connect with Anyone.
Show up. Treat people as if they were your closest friend. And constantly find ways to genuinely offer value to the people around you.
Do whatever you can, big or small, to make their world better.
That is our only real job.
The rest will take care of itself.
-Scott
For the comments: What’s one way you can apply the above two steps to your life right now – today and this week? Take one action to Show Up and Add Value. Tell us what you plan to do!
P.S. Keep an eye out next week for the launch of our totally free Ultimate Mastermind Workbook guide. The people who really change your game are the ones who hold you accountable, support and inspire you every day. One such group is what we call a Mastermind Group.
And as a special bonus for you all, our resident Mastermind Maven, Liz Seda, has put together what we believe is hands-down the most comprehensive free mastermind resource on the Internet – all 52 beautifully-designed pages of it. 🙂 It will be available to you guys, totally free for download, next week. Just wait until you see this thing!
P.P.S. I realize that there are a million ways to to implement these two points. That’s why I spent the past 14 months developing a 3-month interactive course and community on exactly how to build the genuine connections that can change your world. If you want learn more, be sure to sign up for the How to Connect with Anyone Insider’s Team to get priority early access next time the course opens up.
Jon Wilburn
Posted at 11:28h, 06 FebruaryScott – Those two are probably the hardest. I made a list of 10 business/successful people who are local to me, that I wanted to sit down with at least once this year. After reading this today, my plan is to contact the guy that I’m most hesitant to ask to lunch.
I have to tell you – I can see how implementing these two things can be life changing. Thanks for sharing man.
Jon
liveyourlegend
Posted at 16:20h, 06 FebruaryAwesome Jon. I can’t wait to hear what comes of it! Funny how simple the two points are, eh?
Jon Wilburn
Posted at 13:49h, 07 FebruaryIts almost too simple. It will be an adventure that’s for sure.
Daniel O'Beirne
Posted at 12:06h, 06 FebruaryKudos Scott, love this article. Serving others and Reaching Out is so key!
I can tell ya the economies of southern Europe, so linked to tourism, could get a 1%+ GDP boost if folks would try serving others and reaching out to customers. I train our guides to do this but it is a battle. best from Spain & thanks, Dan
liveyourlegend
Posted at 16:20h, 06 FebruaryI could not agree more Dan. Love what you’re doing. I used to be a tour guide for a friends company in Spain and I can certainly relate to the impact you’re talking about. Just curious – where do you guys do tours??
kristin
Posted at 13:55h, 06 FebruaryI’m loving the infographic and had to share it. And totally agree – everything comes back to showing up and then adding value – Every. Day.
Thanks for reminding us of what really matters Scott.
liveyourlegend
Posted at 16:18h, 06 FebruaryGlad you liked it Kristin – One of our members, Mike Paradise, created that for us and we’re very grateful. I have a print out right next to my computer!
Veronica Chaidez
Posted at 14:04h, 06 FebruaryThis is truly what life is all about. Connections. And what would your life be without great human connections? Today I *showed up* at a middle school and delivered a slideshow of my adventures around the world as an undergrad zoology major. Maybe all will become scientists, maybe none. Either way, I showed up.
liveyourlegend
Posted at 16:17h, 06 FebruaryWow. Love hearing how you’re showing up Veronica! And what an amazing thing to share with that audience. Sounds like you’ve had some unreal adventures!
John Greathouse
Posted at 21:37h, 06 FebruaryLove the entry, esp the infographic Scott – I will share it with my UCSB Entrepreneurial Selling class tomorrow! Keep the great content coming.
liveyourlegend
Posted at 09:58h, 13 FebruaryAwesome John. That means a lot. You are one of the few entrepreneurs and university professors really getting creative and practical with what you teach your students. It is huge! They are lucky to have you. I’d love to chat with any of them, or the class, if you ever need a hand with anything.
Clayton Elliott
Posted at 17:17h, 07 FebruaryAwesome post Scott! Making friends with anyone really is as simple as those two rules. All my closest friends were perfect strangers at some point in life. Had I not been open to seeing perfect strangers as friends I haven’t met yet, I wouldn’t have so many of the awesome friends I have now. And I think it’s time that I printed out the Connect With Anyone Creed and post it next to my computer too. 🙂
Cassie Nolan
Posted at 06:57h, 08 FebruaryScott, new reader here, and really dig this post (as well as LYL in general). Showing up is definitely a challenge for me (I’m a ‘can’t we all just email?’ kinda girl), which is made worse by always assuming I’m wasting the time of those I admire because I’m not worthy of their company (I think to myself, “I’m not smart/successful/witty/creative enough to hold that person’s interest.”) There are lunches, coffee meetings, and phone conversations I’ve wanted to set up, but haven’t followed through with–I’m going to work on changing that. Thanks for the wake-up call!
liveyourlegend
Posted at 09:57h, 13 FebruaryFirst off welcome to the adventure Cassie! Sounds like you’ll fit it in quite well. And here’s to getting out there and making a little more contact. Can’t wait to see what comes of it!!
Sera Peters
Posted at 12:47h, 10 FebruaryHey Scott, thanks for the great video in this post – I feel like I got a lot out of it and I would like to share it on my blog. Is there a way to get a direct link to it so I can share it around? Love your weekly blog content and emails because I always feel more upbeat and encouraged after reading them. Thanks!
liveyourlegend
Posted at 09:56h, 13 FebruaryThanks Sera! Glad it was so helpful. They were a ton of fun to shoot. To be honest since that is a part of our private Connect with Anyone course (this video was a free gift to you guys), it would not be fair to our course members to make the video available all over the web. I hope you can understand. Thanks a lot for your offer though. And there are lot’s more fun connection tools coming soon!
Marielle A
Posted at 03:38h, 11 FebruaryI’ve always thought I was good at connecting with others, and I always show up whether its for myself or for others. I’m getting discouraged at the moment because the people I want to spend time with, the ones who encourage me to develop my passions, just aren’t showing up themselves! Thanks for the post Scott because you’ve given me the momentum to keep trying and to make new connections with those I meet here in Australia.
Being Geniune | The Super Senior (Musings About Fun, Graduation & The Real World)
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Posted at 08:39h, 17 FebruarySuch great advice, Scott! It continually amazes me how much a simple thank you card or plate of cookies can mean to somebody. It’s so easy to make someone’s day; we should all strive to do it a lot more often!
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Posted at 01:22h, 28 FebruaryThe post looks nice, can you please come up with a post about how to acquire more friends in facebook. It might help people like me to promote a facebook fan page.
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